PJ999 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 (edited) Hi, I'm 33 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 years now living together, we live in the Philippines. We love eachother a lot and we never argue/have problems. I feel we're not just partners, we're also best friends if that makes sense. The thing is, she has an gotten an opportunity to go study abroad, something that will get her from low minimum wage to a high middle class salary. This is a big opportunity for her and not something that I want to take away from her. But if she will take that opportunity it will mean I will not see her for at least 4 years, and who knows what will happen in that time. I know she is sometimes hoping that I will tell her to stay with me, but my finances aren't that great either at the moment so I'm not really confident that I can support us both. And I'm also thinking "what if we break up in the future?" Then I will have ruined her opportunity for a better financial future... The reason for me thinking "what if we breakup?" is because I lost sexual interest in her for the most part. I'm still horney, just not for her. I know maybe that sounds bad, but it's only the sexual part. I still love her very much, that has only increased as our relationship and mutual trust solidified over time... I don't feel in anyway that I want to break up with her by the way. I'm just thinking about the future, because I'm not sure if having no sexual desire towards your partner is healthy, and if it will work long term or cause problems. I don't know what to do really. i know that if she goes I will miss her A LOT. But I'm scared that if she stays that maybe our relationship won't last, and then she is left with nothing. No career and no love. Please advise. What do you think? What should I do? Please share your insights Edited June 14, 2013 by PJ999 Link to post Share on other sites
tas001 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 I think you have to let her go and follow the opportunity because it will change her life for the better which has a long ripple effect on her and everyone around her. You may find that the distance makes your relationship stronger, and if your relationship can stand the test of distance and time, then you know you are in the right relationship and it will survive a lifetime. If she does not take up the opportunity, there is a good chance that some part of her will resent you for it down the line. Another way to look at it is that if you are not currently feeling as sexually interested in her, that is not going to magically get better on its own unless either she or you do something different. So if she stays with you, and your relationship deteriorates, it also leaves her with nothing. I have known a few couples who took a few years apart to study, work in a different country, etc ... those that stayed together after it all were quite happy. Those that didn't, they moved on to other lives and found happiness elsewhere. Depending on where she is going you may be able to follow her, or maybe she can defer the opportunity for some time? Without knowing more, I can only advise that it sounds better for her to take it .. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts