Sunshine87 Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Hey, I was in a LTR for over three years. We started dating when I was 22years. He left me a month before my 26th birthday. We were supposed to get married. But the moment he left, i feel like I lost control of my life. All the plans we made out of the door. While we were together, I turned down many suitable bachelors. Now he is engaged to the woman he left me for.....and left me to pick up the pieces. I feel like I wasted those precious years....thinking I would be engaged to be married now. I feel overwhelmed. I have no "plan" anymore. I know God has a better man for me but sometimes it hurts so bad.......the uncertainty.....the waiting....the loneliness. I desperately believe that God has a better man for me. We had a lot of issues in the relationship. But sometimes I feel so lonely that I wonder if I would've been better off in a bad relationship than alone (temporarily). I know this is a bad way to think because marriage is a big deal and should be taken seriously. After all, many people divorce etc. But I guess I'm not not very patient and I feel like my ex cheated me of three precious years. Sometimes I still go into a shock thinking about how close we were and the plans we made. Then he just gets up and leaves me alone.......to figure out my life again after breaking my heart to pieces. I have learnt a lot from the relationship though. I have grown a lot too. But I'm ready now to find love again and I pray that God sends him soon. Need some encouragement. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Methinks this is the stage where you evaluate what happened and that can take a while. I was married at 26 so this kind of made me think about the disappointment you must be facing right now and how you may feel about the passage of time. Although, h'mmm.. I think I hear within your story that maybe there were some doubts on your side - but he was the one to end it? That's got to sting. Do you equate your faith with forgiving others a lot? Like when you felt certain pangs or doubts, did you feel that you needed to work things through more than to kick off and get everything in the open? Did you both go to God with your concerns? Or was it a case that God was not a focus but an ideal in your relationship? I say this partly so you can maybe find a description of the hope you carried. Also there is a massive red flag around what you have said about contemplating being in a bad relationship rather than being alone. Take care, Eve x 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I have learnt a lot from the relationship though. I have grown a lot too. But I'm ready now to find love again and I pray that God sends him soon. Sunshine, you've been through a lot. It's reassuring to hear that you've learned and grown from this experience. And most importantly, I love that you're putting your faith in God, and his power to send you the person you need. I feel overwhelmed. I have no "plan" anymore. I know God has a better man for me but sometimes it hurts so bad.......the uncertainty.....the waiting....the loneliness. Sometimes when my plans are changed because God has a different idea for my life, I can feel so vulnerable. Like I can get tossed around by the trials of life, and desperately try to cling to anything that seems stable. It seems you're clinging to God, which I admire. Psalm 40 is beautiful; it reminds us about how God can bring us out of a horrible pit. And in time, God will place our feet on a solid rock. Don't jump the gun, Sunshine. Don't settle for anything less than the solid rock that God has in store for you! I feel like I wasted those precious years....thinking I would be engaged to be married now. Those years weren't wasted. Instead, think about how God saved you from an empty and joyless marriage, possible children, possible single-motherhood. Think about the years you've been saved. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I desperately believe that God has a better man for me. We had a lot of issues in the relationship. But sometimes I feel so lonely that I wonder if I would've been better off in a bad relationship than alone (temporarily). I know this is a bad way to think because marriage is a big deal and should be taken seriously. After all, many people divorce etc. But I guess I'm not not very patient and I feel like my ex cheated me of three precious years. Sometimes I still go into a shock thinking about how close we were and the plans we made. Then he just gets up and leaves me alone.......to figure out my life again after breaking my heart to pieces. ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) Love, I tried this and settled for emotional abuse instead of emotional stability. I assure you, the time wasn't wasted because hurt, break ups, pain etc all teach us lessons as well as possitive experiences. Who knows, maybe you were spared an entire life of misery rather than just three short years. It can feel like eternity, although in the grand scheme of things, three years is merely a drop in the bucket in comparison to eternity. Stick close to the Lord and see all of the good things of the now ended relationship. Coming from me, I know that sounds odd given my most recent rants in other threads- but I do want to come to the place of acceptance concerning the quite negative things in my life/relationships. God Bless you and you have my prayers of encouragement!:love::love: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Like you sunshine, i bottomed out when my ex left me...lost all hope in what i had faith in.....god remained in my heart but i just went numb....now....i do believe god has a plan for me......don't know what, who, how ,where why and when my future is or where ill end up..... i just know in my heart that God will guide me.....if i choose to listen.......he guides me in ways i cant see....but he can...i have faith in that.......he leads people into my life....and leads them out again.......i believe that....the people who are meant to stay ..stay ........those who are meant to be fleeting...fleet...... have faith that there is a purpose, there is ryhme and reason, even if you cant see it, like you cant see god....you can feel his hand on your heart.......you can hear the soft voice giving you tender mercies of comfort...if you choose to listen......(((((((hugs)))))) from me to you....debxo 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 After reading the OP I just want to wrap my arms around the author, the pain is so palpable. And she's just an anonymous Internet stranger to me; I can only imagine how God feels about her. Sunshine, below are some of my thoughts, I hope & pray these words will help you and give you strength... I know that place where you're at. Who knows, maybe you were spared an entire life of misery rather than just three short years. This was my initial gut reaction to the OP - you just dodged a bullet!! For whatever reason that only God can see, it wasn't meant to be. But those 3 years weren't wasted. God can restore them. He loves you VERY VERY MUCH and He wants you to have an abundant life. What He's got lined up for you in the future is EXTRAORDINARY - way way better than anything you could imagine. Wait, be still, ask God to bind up your wounds and lead you out of darkness, and hold on tightly to His hand. Also, go to Joel Osteen's website and read his & Victoria's latest blog "He Restores Our Years" ... then go to the Broadcast section and watch his sermon "Don't Fight It"... both of these DIRECTLY address the issues you brought up in your OP. (Chills are running up & down my spine right now, as I just read those yesterday. They fit the situation EXACTLY, like he was preaching directly to Sunshine personally.) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine87 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Thank you all. Your posts brought me to tears. Thank you so much for your uplifting and touching words. I am deeply encouraged. I feel so much love from this section......God is truly love. I am going to the website recommended by Joel Osteen. I have so much to say but anxious to watch the video. So will be back to post. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 After reading the OP I just want to wrap my arms around the author, the pain is so palpable. And she's just an anonymous Internet stranger to me; I can only imagine how God feels about her. Sunshine, below are some of my thoughts, I hope & pray these words will help you and give you strength... I know that place where you're at. This was my initial gut reaction to the OP - you just dodged a bullet!! For whatever reason that only God can see, it wasn't meant to be. But those 3 years weren't wasted. God can restore them. He loves you VERY VERY MUCH and He wants you to have an abundant life. What He's got lined up for you in the future is EXTRAORDINARY - way way better than anything you could imagine. Wait, be still, ask God to bind up your wounds and lead you out of darkness, and hold on tightly to His hand. Also, go to Joel Osteen's website and read his & Victoria's latest blog "He Restores Our Years" ... then go to the Broadcast section and watch his sermon "Don't Fight It"... both of these DIRECTLY address the issues you brought up in your OP. (Chills are running up & down my spine right now, as I just read those yesterday. They fit the situation EXACTLY, like he was preaching directly to Sunshine personally.) Yes, I listened to that sermon on TV the other day after watching a link to Joel posted by Pureinheart. It is a rock solid sermon.. Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 VideoStreaming Just wanted to post this link from OB...it is awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 (edited) Whether God has great things (humanly speaking) or awful things (humanly speaking) planned for me, I accept either. I have learned that what man calls good isn't always the same as what God calls good. Good is defined as whatever conforms me into the image of Christ; bad is whatever makes me less like him. It's for this reason alone that I was created. Edited June 15, 2013 by M30USA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Devil Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Renounce god, he is unable or unwilling to stop evil. He does not deserve humanities respect Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Renounce god, he is unable or unwilling to stop evil. He does not deserve humanities respect It was never about gaining the respect of humanity. Where did you get that from? Do you think that is God's plan? Suppose for a minute that what you see as a concept actually works for those who pay attention? Why are you still insisting that they stop whilst you can still do what you want? I would only be concerned if a person is in a cult and then they would need a lot of care once free from that. So, I think your statement is valid only as a personal confession. Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Whether God has great things (humanly speaking) or awful things (humanly speaking) planned for me, I accept either. I have learned that what man calls good isn't always the same as what God calls good. Good is defined as whatever conforms me into the image of Christ; bad is whatever makes me less like him. It's for this reason alone that I was created. You know M30, "trials" or whatever anyone wants to call them, have always been apart of my life (or the woodshed), so "good" for me is when all of hell isn't breaking loose! Link to post Share on other sites
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