Are black women disadvantaged in the dating game?

[Shy1109]

Are independent black women (such as myself) disadvantaged for some reason when it comes to dating? (Are men intimidated by us?) Sometimes it seems like every other race of women is celebrated except us. Why? (or am I just being silly?)

 

Let me know! Thanks!!

[Moose]

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm the average white male and I think black women are extremley attractive! They make me HOT! I mean, slender, fit black women ok......I've always had fantasies about them too. My wife knows about them so she can read this, I'm not worried.....she finds black women hot too.

[dyermaker]

I think you're being silly.

 

This guy doesn't though: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t32022

["marq"]

No its not that ya'll are disadvantaged its inproper education about dating and what a man should be.

Most black women that I know that are worth marrying are college educated therefore I believe a lot of them

feel they have to marry someone with there same income and education with a similar background thats not reasonable,for themselves.I worked at my job for 5 years and what i noticed is amazing.White women pick their

men based of character and kindness of your heart and looks like almost everyone else.Sisters choose men like its a business and 1 out 10 business only make it through there first year so that give you an idea why a lot of ya'll sisters are unmarried(not alone but unmarried).Another reason is the brother that work for the city ups

or the post office is not good enough even though he makes good money but not great money makes 20k less a year than you do but can still raise and support a family but its not an UPGRADE meaning no grad school

corporate managment job and six figure salary.Guess what?Those guys heard about this stuff from there uncles fathers brothers friends and co workers so when that guy gets out of college and getting himself together

he's spooked by sisters cause he don't want to get taken for granted or to the cleaners so when that white woman come along she smell like roses cause he comfortable he's being judged for himself as a person

not a provider when there aren't no kids in the picture.This is my opinion and in any way should it be mistaken

as bashing black women just tellin it like i see it.So next time mothers when your daughter ask you what to look for in a man say "potential" not "make sure he can buy you somthing nice" thats inproper education.It all starts at home.

[Blkbeauty]

Oh please I am so tired of hearing that garbage. Yes, some Black women ARE left-out in the dating department ...because THEY choose to be!

 

Black women need to start having an open mind just like their fellow BROTHERS; they need to start opening their hearts to other races of men and seeing beyond skin tone. This ‘only black’ mindset is the MAIN reason why black women are left dateless and depressed, they pass up on good men who truly have an interest in them JUST because they aren’t black. Then later complain about not having a man. I am so sick of this because they give black women like myself a bad name, and it make it harder for women like myself with an open mind.

 

…But hey, ANYONE who would pass up on true love just because of skin tone differences, deserves to be lonely….FOREVER!!!!

 

Bottom line: when black women start expanding their horizons, their lonely and depressing nights will disappear.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Blkbeauty

Bottom line: when black women start expanding their horizons, their lonely and depressing nights will disappear.

 

 

Personally, I am not attracted to women of african descent. But I have had a few that liked me quite a bit (i'm asian indian).

[VirginiaBob]

I have to admit, black women probably do have it tough because a lot of black men choose white women, but it is not balanced by the number of white men choosing black women - a rare occurance.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by VirginiaBob

I have to admit, black women probably do have it tough because a lot of black men choose white women, but it is not balanced by the number of white men choosing black women - a rare occurance.

 

the black men that can get women of other races usually go for it. Be they very attractive or successful. Tiger Woods is an example.

 

in dating and relating successful black females usually get the short end of the stick, unfortunately.

 

It all comes down to $$$$ in the end. Men want youth and beauty and women want resource and money. This is programmed genetically into our DNA.

[Ms_Sweetness]

I am a black female, and I don't feel that we are disadvantaged in the dating game. It all depends on how a Black woman carries herself. If she presents herself as a well-rounded, and open-minded individual, men of all races will notice. I have been approached by men of just about every race, creed, nationality, etc. Never once have I felt that I was disadvantaged in the dating game due to being Black.

[Proto]

Originally posted by VirginiaBob

I have to admit, black women probably do have it tough because a lot of black men choose white women, but it is not balanced by the number of white men choosing black women - a rare occurance.

 

Well...you're ALMOST right.

 

It's not that we (black men) "choose" white women necessarily...it's that white women approach us! LOL.

 

 

For every one sista that's approached me there have been probably 6 white women that have approached me. So I'm just using the law of supply and demand and going where the demand is, lol!

 

 

And yes my current girlfriend is white, and yes we will be married one day, kids, awesome careers, etc. etc.

[Point]

Notice how beautiful black women (and many black women in general) believe they're worth more if they are with white men? The pretend their relationships with white men are so perfect, even white women don't do that. Most places you will almost never see beautiful black woman with black men. The beautiful women are almost all with white men. These women could easily secure the best black men, yet they are choose ugly men outside of their race. This type of complex is the real issue among black women. In the 80's and early 90's black women were chasing after only light-skin black men until the 'went out of style', now its white. There are decent and educated black men available for black women, but black women (especially beautiful) reject them to chase* after men of other races. Only when they find a few of those men not interested they assert that they have so much difficulty finding men. Many black women I have seen are actually seeking men outside of their race, and settling for black men, their own men are second class to them! Try pursuing* the decent black men of your own race, with the same intensity* and positiveness* that you show towards men of other races and most of the problem will disappear.

[Panhandler]

There's very few black girls I'm attracted too, cause there's a sort of stigma about their culture thru television and media and it's true to some degree. Black people tend to be more violent, and there's more black men in prison than anything else. I think 2 out of 3 black males will spend some time in prison in their lives.

 

I was seeing a black girl a little bit, and she seemed really cool at first. But then she was really violent and mean, and started to get a real thug mentality that black people are tough, and some black guys gonna beat me up. Plus I had two big black guys try and mug me once, crack heads blind sided me and double teamed to knock me over carrying 20 pounds groceries.

 

They do tend to act before they think, I dunno something about black people, their heads just seem empty to me. A lot of times I've had beggars come up to me and they were always black, and black people generally have tried to rob me or con me on many occassions. They just have a bad reputation, because most of them are very racist and they have very definant attitudes towards the rest of the world.

 

Black people are scary...spanish people can get a little creepy too, but generally are more friendly. That's just my honest opinion though, like I said I liked this one black girl, but I wouldn't want to have her children. I just liked her body..of course she could have been a model and she dressed nice and was a prude, not a slutty ghetto crack ho.

[Mary3]

What I have observed :

 

A large majority of the known black females that I encounter are usually Strong Black Women who are opinionated and independant.

 

Many have no husbands or fathers around for their children.

 

Most are Feisty and Run the show...

 

I notice few black women getting white men.

 

I notice alot of black males getting white girls . ( and other races )

 

I think its tough being a black female from what I have observed.

 

I dont see black females pairing much with black males though.

 

Those black males want hot asian or white women it seems.

 

How does the black female fair here ?

[daphne]

One thing I've noticed with black guys is that you can see a good looking black guy with the fattest, least desireable white chick instead of a beautiful black girl. That is just illogical to me but it seems to be one way to get validation.

 

In France white guys love black women. You see interracial couples of both black women and white guys/white women and black guys a lot in Western Europe. But I think the cultures of the two races aren't as distinct as they are here.

 

I think if all black women looked like Halle Berry(even though she's half white), all of us white women would be up !#$!#@ creek...

[Free At Last]

There's very few black girls I'm attracted too, cause there's a sort of stigma about their culture thru television and media and it's true to some degree. Black people tend to be more violent, and there's more black men in prison than anything else. I think 2 out of 3 black males will spend some time in prison in their lives.

 

I was seeing a black girl a little bit, and she seemed really cool at first. But then she was really violent and mean, and started to get a real thug mentality that black people are tough, and some black guys gonna beat me up. Plus I had two big black guys try and mug me once, crack heads blind sided me and double teamed to knock me over carrying 20 pounds groceries.

 

They do tend to act before they think, I dunno something about black people, their heads just seem empty to me. A lot of times I've had beggars come up to me and they were always black, and black people generally have tried to rob me or con me on many occassions. They just have a bad reputation, because most of them are very racist and they have very definant attitudes towards the rest of the world.

 

Black people are scary...spanish people can get a little creepy too, but generally are more friendly. That's just my honest opinion though, like I said I liked this one black girl, but I wouldn't want to have her children. I just liked her body..of course she could have been a model and she dressed nice and was a prude, not a slutty ghetto crack ho.

 

Panhandler... Man, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what you are saying here. First, you say that you are turned off black women because of their negative portrayal in the media. Then you say black people are violent and scary. Then you say you used to like one black girl, but just for her body. Jesus. Man, you are one guy I don't want my friends or family anywhere around. And most of the them are white.

 

You know what? If you have anything to be scared of its white folks. I'm serious. Looked at your visa bill or bank charges lately? Who's in charge of that particular scam? White folks! Who came up with McDonalds food, mass produced junk food on every corner to ensure an early heart attack? White folks! Who's in charge of trying to start world war III in the middle east? White folks!

 

I don't know where you live, but I'm pretty sure that if you go and experience it, you'll find that black folks value community and family to a level that leads by example. Your governments and insitutions have been stealing and destroying black people and culture for hundreds of years and you got mugged on the corner once? Poor you.

[Panhandler]

Panhandler... Man, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what you are saying here. First, you say that you are turned off black women because of their negative portrayal in the media. Then you say black people are violent and scary. Then you say you used to like one black girl, but just for her body. Jesus. Man, you are one guy I don't want my friends or family anywhere around. And most of the them are white.

 

You know what? If you have anything to be scared of its white folks. I'm serious. Looked at your visa bill or bank charges lately? Who's in charge of that particular scam? White folks! Who came up with McDonalds food, mass produced junk food on every corner to ensure an early heart attack? White folks! Who's in charge of trying to start world war III in the middle east? White folks!

 

I don't know where you live, but I'm pretty sure that if you go and experience it, you'll find that black folks value community and family to a level that leads by example. Your governments and insitutions have been stealing and destroying black people and culture for hundreds of years and you got mugged on the corner once? Poor you.

 

Hey I have all white friends, pretty much, I don't associate myself with many ethnic people, if I do it's faint. Just like I don't associate myself with many bald old men, or ugly women. But I tolerate more than the reverse racism of black people, and their general lack of coolness.

 

You know what I don't even like watching black people on tv. I don't like sports cause it's full of black people, and I hate black sitcoms. I don't listen to black music, and if I see black people I try my best to avoid them. No joke, but I respect them in a certain degree that I don't know them and they might be good people.

 

I just don't want to put myself under the position where I have to figure that out. White people aren't perfect, but they seem to be a little smarter, and have a lot more class as a whole. I don't have to deal with reverse racism or culture clash.

 

All these things you mention are not the result of white people. Officials who elect war, look at history to predict the outcome of certain actions that would take place without going to war. They have the support of black and white people and many minorities in their quests.

 

I have no problem with banks or credit cards, neither of them gives me any problems and convenience my life. So I don't see what you're trying to say there. There's nothing wrong with fast food, it's a convenience, I had taco bell today, and I am very healthy. I exercise to keep my heart healthy and I don't live on fast food alone.

 

You can keep yourself and your family far away from me, I could care less. I mean in all practicality what are the chances that if you even wanted me to come to your house or to your town, or that I would ever pass nearby you in my lifetime?

[tinktronik]

Hello All,

Ok I tend to be hesitant when responding to any racially motivated posts, but have decided to respond to this one.

Are black women dissadvantaged in the dating market?

 

I would say yes and no.

yes because (in the south at least) a of of black women are willing to have children out of wedlock.Children lead to a very restricted dating life.

I dont know if thats it , but it may be a contributing factor.Ive been told ( dont know if its true or not ) that black women are more demanding of their men than white women, and ecpect more ,including personal income gain, from the men in their lives.A lot of black women in this part of the country are still dissadvantaged in education , job structure, and tend to be poor.This is probably from both society as well as simply not moving upward and being comfortable in their life stations.And many tend to become very overweight as they get older.

I would say no , because the ratio to man to woman would suggest that across the board , human beings are attracted to each other, whether they be black ,brown ,purple ,blue or pink.

[ChristosForever]

I used to have this mindset too Shy, but I now think differently. Being an engineer, I've been working mostly with well-traveled and educated men and this has rarely been an issue for me. Besides, would you want to date someone who is narrow-minded enough to not even consider dating someone from another race if this person revealed to have all the qualities to become his life partner?

 

I'm currently engaged (getting married in May 2006) to a white man who is well traveled and educated like me (he is an architect) and about 15 years my senior. He is the kindest and sweetest man I've ever met. We both look beyond our differences and he always loved me for my personality traits and (external beauty of course! lol). Before him, I dated other engineers who were white and had great relationships with them.

 

I guess it all depends who you surrounds youself with. Please NEVER lower your standards because you are black. I am extremely demanding regarding who I wanted for a life partner, that's probably why I just found my life partner at 32 years old, going on 33 in 2 weeks!

 

My advice: change crowds and stop surrounding yourself with small people with tiny mentalities. It's only when I started applying that concept that I started meeting the kind of men that even women of other races can only dream of....

 

Have a sweet day hun!

 

Marie

[Ms_Sweetness]

I am once again speaking as a BLACK Woman. I don't feel disadvantaged and probably never will. I AM however, growing very tired of the many stereotypes about Blacks.The majority of us are NOT in prison, are NOT pregnant, and are NOT ignorant. As times change and years go on the number of Black people becoming prominent individuals is increasing dramatically, but yet there are still ignorant people out there who chose to keep accepting these stereotypes. I for one as well as my entire family (all BLACK), have all obtained at least a bachelor's degree and none have been to prison, have gotten pregant out of wedlock, have ever asked anyone for anything. These types of threads are really getting old and I am truly sick of it.

[tinktronik]

I am once again speaking as a BLACK Woman. I don't feel disadvantaged and probably never will. I AM however, growing very tired of the many stereotypes about Blacks.The majority of us are NOT in prison, are NOT pregnant, and are NOT ignorant. As times change and years go on the number of Black people becoming prominent individuals is increasing dramatically, but yet there are still ignorant people out there who chose to keep accepting these stereotypes. I for one as well as my entire family (all BLACK), have all obtained at least a bachelor's degree and none have been to prison, have gotten pregant out of wedlock, have ever asked anyone for anything. These types of threads are really getting old and I am truly sick of it.

 

where do you live?

[Ms_Sweetness]

I was born and raised in Texas

[tinktronik]

I wasent so much speaking of texas , but of the carolinas where I have spent a lot of time , not sure if I really even feel texas even fits into the catagory of "the south" in the same way that the carolinas ,does it seems to be its own animal, but I would say louisiana does fit into the south, maybe the poorer sates is what I mean.

Since moving to texas I do tend to have bissiness dealings with much more well spoken ,educated and polished black women than I did in the carolinas but not so much with black men.

I grew up military ,with my family ,and all tends to be equal there, and all genre of people mix it was a normal way of life , it was not untill I was older that I realized that many poeple still have problems with this. I do not mean to offend but if you do not like that a lot of black women live this way you should be upset with them and not the people that observe them.

[Gold Pile]

Fit, slender, well spoken Black women are attractive to gold pile.

 

Being as GP wouldn't mesh with many of her relatives, and she wouldn't mesh with some of mine, Nothing serious could come of it.

 

Such a wonderful lady will likely stay away from the sterotypical uneduacated, unemployed black male, in favor of the educated, well employed Black male.

He will be a rarer catch, and have many Black Women (high and low class) to choose from.

 

That leaves our wonderful lady to look outside her race. I wouldn't mistreat her, but knowing what I know, I wouldn't put up with many games. I'd expect her to secure me with sex very early in relationship.

[Brittanyjean06]

everyone should watch the movie...crash...maybe it can give you a slap in the face. EVERYONE haha

 

its a really good movie, with difference race scenarious...its really good.

 

 

we all are sterotyped, but i would never avoid a black person because i wouldent want to put my self in a situation of " finding something out." because i dont even think like that. thats just how i am though, some people are raised like that and cant help it.

 

 

blacks can be mean, whites can be mean, asians everyone can be a**es.......

 

 

i would love to fall in love with a well educated black male, if it ever happend i would consider the comments..from people a chance for me as a person to grow and make a difference

 

 

i know that was random haha...i just dont have the heart to say anything about anyones race...we white people can get that to" red necks" or whatever

[Ms_Sweetness]

I wasent so much speaking of texas , but of the carolinas where I have spent a lot of time , not sure if I really even feel texas even fits into the catagory of "the south" in the same way that the carolinas ,does it seems to be its own animal, but I would say louisiana does fit into the south, maybe the poorer sates is what I mean.

Since moving to texas I do tend to have bissiness dealings with much more well spoken ,educated and polished black women than I did in the carolinas but not so much with black men.

I grew up military ,with my family ,and all tends to be equal there, and all genre of people mix it was a normal way of life , it was not untill I was older that I realized that many poeple still have problems with this. I do not mean to offend but if you do not like that a lot of black women live this way you should be upset with them and not the people that observe them.

 

I am not upset with anyone nor am I offended because people say things when they are ignorant to certain situations, this just gets very old, I love my Black people but I also love all races and would never stereotype an entire race just because of a few people. I'm just trying to inform you that just because you see a few people doing something doesnt mean that it applies to an entire group.