Are black women disadvantaged in the dating game?

[tinktronik]

I am not upset with anyone nor am I offended because people say things when they are ignorant to certain situations, this just gets very old, I love my Black people but I also love all races and would never stereotype an entire race just because of a few people. I'm just trying to inform you that just because you see a few people doing something doesnt mean that it applies to an entire group.

 

 

I agree , and I never inplied that it applies to an entire group.And its not just a few people, we both know that.Personally I am raising three sons , all of whom are half black, Im not sure what to tell them about their grandfaher who is in prison .Or their aunt who has many children from many different men and as never married .There are parts of the country where this is more prevelant amongst the black community than the white, as im sure there are parts of the country where this is more prevelant amongst white women than black.Obviously , if you group a whole race of people together in a question format , things become sticky.good looking smart , well mannered black women probably do just fine finding a date, and a good one at that.Just like any other women.But uneducated , money grubbing, un mannered women ( of any race ) will not be able to pull from the top of the line men.Period.

[Teimour Radjabov]

Black women probably are disadvantaged... Infact I have one friend who finds black women "nasty" and he only likes skinny white girls who have brown or black hair, he is very picky about that.

 

On the other hand, I have many friends who love black women.

 

And me... I personally love black women, they have amazing bodies for the most part, my favorite part of their bodies is their pussies, which feels reallllly soft and silky compared to white women, and of course their ass, legs, etc etc..... lol

 

I know alot of guys are intimidated by HOT women period, nevermind black women.. so don't worry about that, and it's cool like that because it automatically screens out the losers and wimps who are intimidated, between the guys who are sure of themselves, confident and bold.

 

Anymore Questions?

[Ms_Sweetness]

Well said, Teimour. And thanks for the compliments.

[annabellepio]

Personally, I am not attracted to women of african descent. But I have had a few that liked me quite a bit (i'm asian indian).

 

Personally, I'm not attracted to men of Asian indian decent either! We actually have one of those at work who is still single at 29 and keeps begging every woman in our department to go out with him to no avail. So arrogant and annoying too. Could this be you by any chance???

 

Oh no wait, I just read that you're 40, single and never married.....uhmmm....uhmmm...I wonder why......

[AlmostMarried77]

I am once again speaking as a BLACK Woman. I don't feel disadvantaged and probably never will. I AM however, growing very tired of the many stereotypes about Blacks.The majority of us are NOT in prison, are NOT pregnant, and are NOT ignorant. As times change and years go on the number of Black people becoming prominent individuals is increasing dramatically, but yet there are still ignorant people out there who chose to keep accepting these stereotypes. I for one as well as my entire family (all BLACK), have all obtained at least a bachelor's degree and none have been to prison, have gotten pregant out of wedlock, have ever asked anyone for anything. These types of threads are really getting old and I am truly sick of it.

 

I think the real problem is the media which protrays blacks very badly. And the black culture, maybe as a consequence seems to do itself no favours with the likes of 50cent and snoop dog being role models for a lot of black teens.

 

Personally I think the situation is completely f**ked.

[Ms_Sweetness]

I think the real problem is the media which protrays blacks very badly. And the black culture, maybe as a consequence seems to do itself no favours with the likes of 50cent and snoop dog being role models for a lot of black teens.

 

Personally I think the situation is completely f**ked.

 

Yes, I think this is a major part of the problem.

[Mary3]

This is an open forum and any posts I make about observations about a certain race are just that I have friends of all colors and I date pretty much most nationalities.

 

To say white men prefer,.( fill in the blank ) ...is to say : White men prefer size 4 females .... Well ,of course not all do prefer that , Some men like large women .

Everyone enjoys what they enjoy and you may not like to see one race with another but that will always happen as long as the sun still shines on our earth.

 

But the real point is that through observation I give you what I see .

I give it to you honestly.

 

To take offense that these racial posts should not take place would be the same as to say posts about cheaters shouldnt be posted because most people despise cheaters.

 

If no-one posted as to offend another we would have no posts or forums. Direct insults are not for the menu here but being honest about a certain subject is...

 

I think this forum will always pose questions about racial preferences just as it will pose questions about size , hair color preferences, wealth, charactor, LTR, FWB, OW, MM, Fidelity , Players , cheaters , break ups and all the millions of other posts that go on daily.

[caramel x kisses]

Are independent black women (such as myself) disadvantaged for some reason when it comes to dating? (Are men intimidated by us?) Sometimes it seems like every other race of women is celebrated except us. Why? (or am I just being silly?)

 

Let me know! Thanks!!

 

 

I definatly think we are at a disadvantage & ive always been attracted to white men but the veiws they have on black women based only on steryotypes & not first hand exsperiences is quite sad!

Id just like to state im a beautiful black women who comes from a familly of beautiful black women, my nan is 81, she still works & looks about 60, thats the beauty of being black, we age gracefully while white women are trying from the age of 30 to prevent ageing & getting facelifts!!

Im just asd beautiful as a women of any other race & ive seen many georgeous black women!!

My partner who i live woth is white & he loves blk women & i wish more white men would give us a chance!!

 

" the darker the cherry, the sweeter the juice!! "

 

xxx

[tinktronik]

Caremel,

you dont like the strereotypes , none of us do but we all do it to some degree or another, for instance:

 

White men: the veiws they have on black women based only on steryotypes & not first hand exsperiences is quite sad!

This is a stereotype.

 

Black women: thats the beauty of being black, we age gracefully .

This is a stereotype.

 

White women: white women are trying from the age of 30 to prevent ageing & getting facelifts!!

This is a stereotype

 

And yes it is quite sad.

[Mary3]

Caramel, I think you are very pretty.

 

I knew a female OB/GYN and she was black and she was very gorgeous. !

 

So there are many celebrated black women out there that are hearing you....

[guest1234]

Panhandler... Man, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what you are saying here. First, you say that you are turned off black women because of their negative portrayal in the media. Then you say black people are violent and scary. Then you say you used to like one black girl, but just for her body. Jesus. Man, you are one guy I don't want my friends or family anywhere around. And most of the them are white.

 

You know what? If you have anything to be scared of its white folks. I'm serious. Looked at your visa bill or bank charges lately? Who's in charge of that particular scam? White folks! Who came up with McDonalds food, mass produced junk food on every corner to ensure an early heart attack? White folks! Who's in charge of trying to start world war III in the middle east? White folks!

 

I don't know where you live, but I'm pretty sure that if you go and experience it, you'll find that black folks value community and family to a level that leads by example. Your governments and insitutions have been stealing and destroying black people and culture for hundreds of years and you got mugged on the corner once? Poor you.

 

yeah why dont you ****ing try getting mugged on the corner...or how bout you have your uncle shot, robbed and carjacked after stopping to help a black dude?

 

is anyone forcing you to have a visa card? a bank account? If you think its a scam, keep your money on hand, or bury it in the backyard. If you dont like Mc D, dont eat it. Awww man, and the crazy white ppl starting wars. How about the guy in charge of foreign affairs, the Sec. of State.....oh wait, he's black?

 

Many (not all, but most) black people need to feel like they're still being discriminated against so they can feel a sense of unity, and so they can make excuses for their generally low economic status. In reality, black people have many social advantages over other races. People are so afraid of seeming like they're racist against black peopel that they end up being racist FOR black people. A chinese guy and a black guy, both have the same grades, test scores, whatever, who has a better chance of getting into a better school? The black guy. Two black dudes kick an indian kid's ass at school, the three are suspended for a few days. Two white kids kick a black guy's ass, the ****ign black panthers show up at school demanding "justice", black kid gets a written apology from principal and white kids are expelled.

Why is it a tremendous deal when a non-black person says nigger when its funny that people say racial slurs against other races?

 

Sure, black people may still be mistreated in certain back-water, deep south, country communities, but where black people actually live, the opposite is often more likely to occur.

[Mary3]

White people are now the Minority.

[RainyDayWoman]

White people are now the Minority.

 

maybe where you are.

[loveheart59]

I cant be bothered by self pity. I actually find that if you are pretty or beautiful (like me, their words not mine!) guys look at you and enjoy talking to you whatever your colour.

I find that just as many white people as black find me attractive but I have quite a straight laced personality. I grew up with a load of middle class white people so the way I talk and act is kinda more in tune with them and is seen as more feminine than being ghetto for some reason. Even though im still black in my music choices and interests etc... I think if if I had more black mannerisms and was "more in with it" (which I have wanted at sometimes) then certain people who have looked at me never would have.

 

I think people are more "culturalist" than racist. They dont mind a woman of colour who isnt too black, see Beyonce, Halle Berry in there way of speaking and acting because its a different culture. Just like a black "in with it" person wouldnt want to hang around a posh white person but they wouldnt mind chillin' with Eminem or Justin Timberlake.

[slubberdegullion]

I've had the opportunity to date two black women, a few Asian women and one mulatto woman.

 

Now, I can only speak from personal experience here, and this is by no means a generalization about an entire cultural group. I found the black women, however, to be extremely full of themselves and with way too much attitude for my liking. I mean, I can appreciate self-confidence and even a little arrogance, but the women I was with took it to an absurd extreme.

 

A couple of the Asian women were bigoted, especially against East Indians, but they were good to me.

 

The young mulatto woman I spent some time with was the most easy-going of the bunch, and the best between the sheets too.

 

Again, just my personal experience. Maybe it's indicative of a larger trend or maybe not.

[AlmostMarried77]

whats mulatto?

[slubberdegullion]

whats mulatto?

Mixed race, usually one black parent and one white parent.

[AlmostMarried77]

Mixed race, usually one black parent and one white parent.

 

cheers, never heard it called that before

[d'Arthez]

Is that term not considered offensive, Slubber? Or is it an accepted term of reference?

[loveheart59]

Wow what extensive research:laugh:

Why do I get the feeling you actively stereotype because of your experiances...?

As I was saying before its more about culture and not race. If you get two black girls, asian girls(same religion, same country) two white girls. They live in pretty similar circumstances, grew up in the same circumstances, with money or poor. They are likely to have external similarities in charector.

 

What really would be interesting is if you could date a Black girl whos grown up in the ghetto,one in the suburbs,one with a lot of money, one dirt poor, one shy,one outgoing,one intelligent or thick. Now that would be thorough research!

 

As unfortunately many people of colour in America live in poor areas under the poverty line you will probrably be basing your conclusions on one type of culture. For instance: theres a difference between "white trash" and a corprate white lawyer or doctor. Not that theres anything wrong with being white trash:) ... but you would probrably get treated in a slightly different way than if you went out with a lawyer.

 

Its like the difference between a church going, working black man and a Gangtar, pimping n***a. Imagine the difference between Will Smith and 50 Cent!

[slubberdegullion]

Is that term not considered offensive' date=' Slubber? Or is it an accepted term of reference?[/quote']

I only heard the term from the woman in question, and it's how she described herself; I don't think it's offensive, but if it is, consider this an apology.

[slubberdegullion]

Wow what extensive research

That's why I went to lengths to explain that my experiences were just that; my personal experiences, and not to be taken as a generalization.

Why do I get the feeling you actively stereotype because of your experiances...?

Uh... well, I don't think I stereotype. How else, outside of one's own experiences, is a critically-thinking person to perceive the world?

[loveheart59]

Not by sterotyping im sure, Ive had really bad experiances with certain types of people I was badly bullied at school and in the street by black boys for 8 years. Im better now and I get nicely treated, of course I still get a bit nervous around certain people but I like black guys and I know all arent the same as what I grew up with.

 

How do you make sense of the world without stereo typing... by accepting people on one on one basis. Not every punk, hippy gangtar looking, and goth is exactly the same in personality. Its just there way of dressing and externally acting. When people let thier guard down that they use as a way to belong to a particular group its usually different to what theyre like inside. Being assertive (like some black women) or being racist (like some asian women) is just forms of insecurity and learned traits. Not be all and end all.

 

Example: People make men out to say they dont have feelings like women do because theyre tougher.

 

For the record, "Mulatto" was a slavery name for bi-racial women born from the rape of black slaves. They were put in a legue over black women because they were half white. Had more privalages. A lot of people dont use that word except to refer to white mens intrest in "white looking black women", not the best describing word.

[AlmostMarried77]

Example: People make men out to say they dont have feelings like women do because theyre tougher.

 

For the record, "Mulatto" was a slavery name for bi-racial women born from the rape of black slaves. They were put in a legue over black women because they were half white. Had more privalages. A lot of people dont use that word except to refer to white mens intrest in "white looking black women", not the best describing word.

 

I looked up the term myself... although it is derived from the slavery days, it's not listed as offensive:

 

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=mulatto

 

Usage Note: The terms mulatto, quadroon, and octoroon originated with the racial policies of European colonizers in the Americas, especially the Spanish. Because civil rights and responsibilities were based directly on the degree of European blood that a person had, such classifications were highly elaborated, and minor distinctions in ancestry were carefully recorded. While these terms have highly precise definitions, in actual practice they were often used based on impressions of skin color rather than definite knowledge of ancestry.

[slubberdegullion]

Not every punk, hippy gangtar looking, and goth is exactly the same in personality. Its just there way of dressing and externally acting.

I absolutely agree.

 

Not too long ago I popped into a local store that sells CDs and behind the counter there was this goth chick, complete with the piercings, black makeup and all the rest. She smiled and asked me what I was looking for. I told her I was looking for an original recording of Ella Fitzgerald's famous Mack the Knife recording in which she fouled up the lyrics and winged it through most of the song.

 

"Oh," she said, "I remember hearing that. I've got it on 2 different discs, a compilation with Louis {she pronounced Lewis, as opposed to the incorrect "Louey"} Armstrong and a disc called The Complete Ella In Berlin. Now, the original recording was done in Berlin and is not the best because of the technical state of the art of the time. But I prefer the Complete one because I think the reproduction is crisper than the compilation."

 

So I know exactly what you mean about perceptions versus reality. This girl blew me away with her knowledge of classic jazz. Very cool.