MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Before I cared about women, my life was so much better. I didn't feel like I was a failure in the dating market (which really is like a market even if you don't like to think of it that way), because I had never even tried! If you don't try, you don't run the possibility of failing. Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women. It seems like the guys who are able to do it are just born that way. Who knows, though. Women can be vicious. They can completely wreck a guy's self-esteem. I'm starting to realize now how picky they are and how they're basically in a position of power because they're the sexual gatekeepers and they don't have the need like we do. I think I mentioned this before, but when I lived in a fraternity I got to see firsthand how the aphorism that "10% of the men get 90% of the women" plays out. There was 1 guy in my house who all the women were obsessed with. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, for the short time he was living in, there was a trail of sorority girls trickling through the house just because they wanted to get ****ed by him. I've realized the common-sense principle that most guys are completely worthless to women. "Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive" is the mantra. I am basically an evolutionary loser, unfit to pass on my genes. I'm throwing in the towel with the whole dating thing. It's depressing to think about. I'm ready to move on with other aspects of my life, to put my pursuit of women in the past where it belongs. I, Jason, hereby surrender to the dating scene. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
baRx Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 do you want some kind of cake or cookie for surrendering? some acknowledgement of being a "evolutionary loser" ? i don't really understand the need for this post. you're your own worst enemy. nobody is stopping anything from happening in the dating scene except you. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Before I cared about women, my life was so much better. I didn't feel like I was a failure in the dating market (which really is like a market even if you don't like to think of it that way), because I had never even tried! If you don't try, you don't run the possibility of failing. Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women. It seems like the guys who are able to do it are just born that way. Who knows, though. Women can be vicious. They can completely wreck a guy's self-esteem. I'm starting to realize now how picky they are and how they're basically in a position of power because they're the sexual gatekeepers and they don't have the need like we do. I think I mentioned this before, but when I lived in a fraternity I got to see firsthand how the aphorism that "10% of the men get 90% of the women" plays out. There was 1 guy in my house who all the women were obsessed with. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, for the short time he was living in, there was a trail of sorority girls trickling through the house just because they wanted to get ****ed by him. I've realized the common-sense principle that most guys are completely worthless to women. "Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive" is the mantra. I am basically an evolutionary loser, unfit to pass on my genes. I'm throwing in the towel with the whole dating thing. It's depressing to think about. I'm ready to move on with other aspects of my life, to put my pursuit of women in the past where it belongs. I, Jason, hereby surrender to the dating scene. Jason, I don't know what it is about you, but out of all the guys on this site there is something about you that makes me want to help. You are NOT an evolutionary loser. Let's get that out of the way. I can tell you aren't because you're funny, eloquent and seem like a genuinely nice guy. You just happen to suffer from a severe lack of confidence. What do you think it is that's holding you back? I want a detailed rundown on exactly what you look like and how you dress, groom yourself, etc. Then I want to know if you were in a bar and saw a woman you wanted to know, how you'd approach her. GO! Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 So basically in this entire post you didn't mention anything about dating at all. This basically seems a rant about a sense of entitlement to sex. You made a suggestion that women don't like sex like men. (little tip: most of them do, the myth that women don't enjoy sex is a load of bollocks). A frat house isn't exactly a great example of how the real world works, you seem more upset that you didn't just have sex land in your lap like the other guys. You seem to value women only for sex from your post? If that is true then that is your problem right there. Women are more than receptacles for your genes and sexy fun times. You might find this hard to believe... but they are actually people. Just like you. I don't know what have you actually tried and what didn't work you didn't actually elaborate on that at all? Also another thing self deprecation is really really unattractive if you act like "woe is me" in real life you going to push people away. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 By the way, women do have sexual needs and urges. They may be different but they are still there. We also have a need to emotionally connect with a man and that can be just as horrible if it's not being met. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I'm starting to realize now how picky they are and how they're basically in a position of power because they're the sexual gatekeepers and they don't have the need like we do. . Women have needs and I think they have less control over their needs than guys or at least me. But hey, thanks for taking yourself out of the gene pool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 This basically seems a rant about a sense of entitlement to sex. God! I absolutely hate when stupid women on the internet, like you, construe a guy complaining about his lack of success with women as him saying that he feels "entitled." That's what is absolute bollocks. I in no way came off as saying that I feel things ought to be different. I said I've accepted the way things are. I'm someone who has a very good perspective on his own strengths and weaknesses. I'm not one of those typical Americans that considers himself above average in every aspect. I know that I'm very good in a lot of things, but attracting women is not one of them, and as far as I can tell, being attractive is not a skill that anyone can acquire. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 God! I absolutely hate when stupid women on the internet, like you, construe a guy complaining about his lack of success with women as him saying that he feels "entitled." That's what is absolute bollocks. I in no way came off as saying that I feel things ought to be different. I said I've accepted the way things are. I'm someone who has a very good perspective on his own strengths and weaknesses. I'm not one of those typical Americans that considers himself above average in every aspect. I know that I'm very good in a lot of things, but attracting women is not one of them, and as far as I can tell, being attractive is not a skill that anyone can acquire. Please elaborate on WHY you think you aren't having success. Tell us what you look like, dress like, smell like, talk like etc. I want to know WHY you're having such trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Hey guess what mate I'm not a girl, but that's cool. What I suggested was you actually give us some of the things you have tried and what you feel is holding you back. What I got from your post was. Why can't I get the sex, women won't give me the sex. Women are horrible for not giving me the sex. You didn't actually talk about anything other than that and putting yourself down. I would like to give you advice but you haven't actually given me anything to work with other than maybe an attitude adjustment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Tell us what you look like That doesn't matter because women are God's little angels and they just care about your confidence, personality, and other such traits. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 That doesn't matter because women are God's little angels and they just care about your confidence, personality, and other such traits. I will ignore the sarcasm and say that, as I suspect you know, looks play a major part in initial attraction. And not just your God-given looks. Grooming, style, etc. is important to women. You are right though that confidence is WAY up there. Without confidence and a positive outlook on life anyone, man or woman, would have a hard time attracting someone. Please tell us why you feel you are failing and maybe we can offer some suggestions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I couldn't disagree more. If you're aesthetic you could be as charming and intelligent as a sack of rocks and still get laid on a daily basis. Maybe, but I actually think wealthy, powerful men have a leg up on idiotic, aesthetically pleasing men. And wealth, power and confidence is something any man can control. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Well Jonas when the only thing he talks about dating is sex and is saying stuff like "I am basically an evolutionary loser, unfit to pass on my genes" and that women can't enjoy sex like men. I would certainly hope he has a broader view of women than what he posted and is why once again I'm asking for him to talk about what he has tried, what has and hasn't worked for him because I didn't get much at all from his first post other than a general whinge about why women are horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Read the thread in my sig. That is all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 I couldn't disagree more. If you're aesthetic you could be as charming and intelligent as a sack of rocks and still get laid on a daily basis. haha you didn't detect my sarcasm, did you? Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Jason, the first step in having success with women is liking women. Do you like women? And I don't mean, are you sexually attracted to them. I mean, do you actually enjoy the company of the opposite sex? Do you like female personalities? I am asking because it doesn't sound like you are too fond of us! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Oh no, when it comes to having sex with ( just sex ) young, desirable women there is no tier above looking so good you make Adonis himself weep tears of insecurity. May be true but the vast majority of men aren't that good looking, yet the human race survives. Clearly it's not all about looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Jason, the first step in having success with women is liking women. Do you like women? And I don't mean, are you sexually attracted to them. I mean, do you actually enjoy the company of the opposite sex? Do you like female personalities? I am asking because it doesn't sound like you are too fond of us! There are some women who I've liked on a personal level. I've noticed that the types with attractive personalities usually grew up in a family where they had a couple brothers. In any case, I'm not strict about what I'm looking for in personality (or looks). I'd just want a girl who's easy-going. The only place that I've found that has a good concentration of these types is church, but I'm not religious. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Ok this is good just to clarify you say dating. Are you just after a hook up or are you after a relationship? Because well what you do depends on that really. Basically what are you trying to achieve. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Firstly I disagree with the bolded part. If you have desirable qualities there's no need to like women beyond sex in order to get laid. As for the rest, I find some women tolerable but I can't say I know many women whose company I enjoy outside of the bedroom. Well allow me to respectfully disagree with you! Last year I dated a man who I would describe as (and I know this isn't possible) the perfect package, at least for me. He was confident, down-to-earth, funny, intellectual, deep-thinking, athletic, capable of committment, wealthy, blah blah blah. He has HUNDREDS of girls after him. This guy could have sex by snapping his fingers...and with a very hot girl too. I wish I hadn't screwed things up with him by allowing myself to fall into the "casual dating" category, having casual sex, etc. I should have set myself apart somehow. ANYWAY...I remember having a conversation with him and saying something like, "You just LOVE women, don't you?" He thought for a moment and responded, "I do. I just love them. I love the way they talk, I love the way they smell, I love the way they dress, I love sitting across from them at a table and discussing things and seeing their point of view. I love watching women do anything from sleeping to cooking to skiing. Everything about women is sexy. I just love them." This guy has more success with girls than any guy I know and in all honesty he is a little goofy looking. I firmly believe women were charmed by his genuine love of the female form. Girls can sense it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 There are some women who I've liked on a personal level. I've noticed that the types with attractive personalities usually grew up in a family where they had a couple brothers. In any case, I'm not strict about what I'm looking for in personality (or looks). I'd just want a girl who's easy-going. The only place that I've found that has a good concentration of these types is church, but I'm not religious. I think you honestly just suffer from a lack of experience even interacting on a social level with girls. You should talk to as many as you possibly can, of all ages. Get to understand what motivates them. When you can figure that out you'll have more success. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I wouldn't go so far as to say you need to like women to be successful with them. However I certainly don't think it hurts, also I personally find dating someone a lot more enjoyable when I actually enjoy their company. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I fail to see how this somehow proves that you need to like women in order to be successful with them. Heads up guys, I have the secret to being successful with women. Are you ready? My friend who is very good looking, wealthy, charming and very intelligent likes red wine. Trust me guys it's not any of his other attractive traits that's drawing in women, I think they can sense his excellent taste in wines. Maybe you can't prove you have to like women, but you sure as hell can't dislike them...ESPECIALLY if you're lacking in the looks/wealth/power department. Just the mere thought of being with a man who admitted he does not like women gives me the heebie jeebies. It sounds like someone who would have no problem with domestic violence or treating his wife like a slave! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Someone should really tell my cousin, Greek God, about how unsuccessful with women he is. It's just his confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 It's just his confidence. Funny fact is that looks are really important when dating, no one will deny that but self confidence goes far when dating... if you are not good looking and then also socially awkward and low in self confidence you have little to no chances to ever get a girl. You can't do much about the way you look but you can do a lot about they way people perceive you .... here I let you a good example of what self confidence can do for people BBC News - 'I hated seeing my face in the mirror' Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts