Esoteric Elf Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 nobody is stopping anything from happening in the dating scene except you. Say he approaches just one woman, and he is not to her taste. She has just stopped something from happening in the dating scene. Can you please not throw logic out of the window at that high a speed? You may sweep it under a rug, embellish it slightly, or twist it, but don't carelessly toss it like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Sometimes, I think some guys on this forum and elsewhere on the net are more obsessed with good looking men than women are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) Before I cared about women, my life was so much better. I didn't feel like I was a failure in the dating market (which really is like a market even if you don't like to think of it that way), because I had never even tried! If you don't try, you don't run the possibility of failing. Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women. It seems like the guys who are able to do it are just born that way. Who knows, though. Women can be vicious. They can completely wreck a guy's self-esteem. I'm starting to realize now how picky they are and how they're basically in a position of power because they're the sexual gatekeepers and they don't have the need like we do. I think I mentioned this before, but when I lived in a fraternity I got to see firsthand how the aphorism that "10% of the men get 90% of the women" plays out. There was 1 guy in my house who all the women were obsessed with. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, for the short time he was living in, there was a trail of sorority girls trickling through the house just because they wanted to get ****ed by him. I've realized the common-sense principle that most guys are completely worthless to women. "Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive" is the mantra. I am basically an evolutionary loser, unfit to pass on my genes. I'm throwing in the towel with the whole dating thing. It's depressing to think about. I'm ready to move on with other aspects of my life, to put my pursuit of women in the past where it belongs. I, Jason, hereby surrender to the dating scene. When I didn't care about girls, my life was so much better and easier. Then I started to care and it became terrible. Now I don't care again because I only care about getting to the top. We both may be evolutionary failures but I'd rather live an awesome life than impregnate some girl I don't like. Right now, the only two things I care about are being ripped to shreds through body-destroying workouts and being as rich as possible. I just want it all. People have been fooled to think that everyone will get to mate. Science has shown that a large majority of our ancestors are women, which means one dominant male had his way with women while the rest died or were killed off by him or other animals. Dating has always been a seller's standpoint for men and a buyer's standpoint for women. With the exception of high-status and aesthetic males, they are considered "buyers". Good luck to you in your pursuits. Hey guess what mate I'm not a girl Fooled me, based on how you speak on here. I couldn't disagree more. If you're aesthetic you could be as charming and intelligent as a sack of rocks and still get laid on a daily basis. Holy ****, someone actually has the same perspective. I've seen so many of my friends who are aesthetic get laid left and right despite the fact that they are unintelligent or socially retarded. Aesthetics rules all. Edited June 17, 2013 by Pompeii Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Holy ****, someone actually has the same perspective. I've seen so many of my friends who are aesthetic get laid left and right despite the fact that they are unintelligent or socially retarded. Aesthetics rules all.When women look for casual sex, they are as superficial about looks, if not more so, than men. Women who are looking for committed partners take other factors into account. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 People have been fooled to think that everyone will get to mate. Science has shown that a large majority of our ancestors are women, which means one dominant male had his way with women while the rest died or were killed off by him or other animals. Dating has always been a seller's standpoint for men and a buyer's standpoint for women. With the exception of high-status and aesthetic males, they are considered "buyers". If men by and large never got to mate unless they were in some exclusive 10%, then why would the ratio of human males to females be so close to 50-50? Not saying you're entirely wrong. I just think that a man who stays with his woman and nurtures his offspring is generally worth a lot more to the average woman than some "top dog" who impregnates her and doesn't provide. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I think I mentioned this before, but when I lived in a fraternity I got to see firsthand how the aphorism that "10% of the men get 90% of the women" plays out. There was 1 guy in my house who all the women were obsessed with. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, for the short time he was living in, there was a trail of sorority girls trickling through the house just because they wanted to get ****ed by him. Those women are idiots and when you are 30 with something resembling a house and a job they will come crawling to you with their illegitimate kids spawned by Mr 10%. Trust me I have had this happen to me more times than I can count. My advice is to improve your looks in every way possible. If you do that women will react more positively towards you, conversations will be easier, you will get more confident. Women do it, men do it, because it works. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Funny fact is that looks are really important when dating, no one will deny that but self confidence goes far when dating... Truth, but self-confidence is not something you go out and buy. You earn it by life accomplishments and from other outside stimuli. Real self-confidence anyways. And that's the bitch of it, if every guy could just 'fake it' and it worked then there wouldn't be threads like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) When women look for casual sex, they are as superficial about looks, if not more so, than men. Women who are looking for committed partners take other factors into account. You may be correct in your latter statement but news flash: most men don't want to be used as a meal ticket. Most men who are already established in their careers and are making a good amount of income somehow see a lot of women start to come onto them and start to want to trap them into commitment. One of a man's worst fears is being used by his wife as a base of financial stability and marital security when she in actuality is not really that much turned on by him. If a man who women wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire during his teens and twenties starts experiencing women "attracted" to him, he would be very wary if he's smart. That's why I'm skipping the experience altogther. At my stage in life I know when I leave college that I will be making more if not grossly more than the average bear. If women start to find themselves "attracted" to me in my late-20s/early-30s, I'll know why. If men by and large never got to mate unless they were in some exclusive 10%, then why would the ratio of human males to females be so close to 50-50? Not saying you're entirely wrong. I just think that a man who stays with his woman and nurtures his offspring is generally worth a lot more to the average woman than some "top dog" who impregnates her and doesn't provide. It's not an exclusive "10%". I honestly don't know the exact number or percentage but I do know that a lot of men back before civilization started didn't get to mate. A lot of men died going on hunting exhibitions, attacked by wild animals, or not having the sheer strength to defend themselves in a fight of brute force. Their genes died off. Hell, even in early civilization, many men were used as slave labor and didn't get to have sex ever. Our ancient instincts are stronger than ever but they've been pushed down beneath the surface of society. As for why the ratio is 50-50 almost even for men and women, I do not know. The average lifespan of a human before civilization was ~30 years old. In hunter-gatherer societies, it could be as high as 60. There wasn't much time to nurture children as a man, so that job was left to a woman. As a man during those times, it was almost expected that you would die before you got to an old age. Edited June 17, 2013 by Pompeii Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 One of a man's worst fears is being used by his wife as a base of financial stability and marital security when she in actuality is not really that much turned on by him. If a man who women wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire during his teens and twenties starts experiencing women "attracted" to him, he would be very wary if he's smart.Yes -- because those men are at risk for being cuckolded. That said, I think the ingenuity of a woman's attraction comes through... Maybe that's one reason my ex let himself get so invested in me ... he knew I didn't want him for stability because he had nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGeek Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 OK, if you're going to throw in the towel and just quit dating, I can imagine the same 'failure mentality' affecting all those other areas of your life you're now going to concentrate on. Failure mentality will get you .... nowhere. I can strongly suggest you reconsider dating and women. They are wonderful examples of humanity. You just need to refocus and find the ones that are right for you ... and not for Mr StudMuffin. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 When women look for casual sex, they are as superficial about looks, if not more so, than men. Women who are looking for committed partners take other factors into account. This really makes it sound like women are settling on the attraction front when they are looking for a relationship. And exactly why would a guy be motivated to be in a relationship if this is the case??? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 This really makes it sound like women are settling on the attraction front when they are looking for a relationship. Oh no! The women who are having casual sex are the ones who are settling. Biologically, they are taking the risk of being single moms. So they have extremely high standards. The potential evolutionary cost to the man who impregnates a woman and disappears is very little. Blah blah you know the thinking... This casual mating behavior, in my opinion, is a resort taken by women who can't get relationships of any quality. The true prize is the male partner who commits. And exactly why would a guy be motivated to be in a relationship if this is the case??? Not a guy. So I can only guess. However, many women (still) are not promiscuous. And many women don't want the guy who's been with everybody, and are loyal and grateful to the men who do commit to them. Find the right woman, and relationships have emotional benefits. And maybe you want someday before you die to have children with a stable family. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 This really makes it sound like women are settling on the attraction front when they are looking for a relationship. And exactly why would a guy be motivated to be in a relationship if this is the case??? That's how it is for women who go for Mr 10% and then want Mr 90% to take care of the kids and mortgage payments. As for motivation if she is really hot/fun then there's your motivation. Most men and women aren't like that though and most relationships don't play out that way. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Not a guy. So I can only guess. However, many women (still) are not promiscuous. And many women don't want the guy who's been with everybody, and are loyal and grateful to the men who do commit to them. Find the right woman, and relationships have emotional benefits. And maybe you want someday before you die to have children with a stable family. This. Also most men today aren't promiscuous either, if anything guys today get laid less on average than we did 20-30 years ago. Especially the younger age group. Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 However, many women (still) are not promiscuous. Could have fooled me. A lot of girls I know **** as if its their last day on earth. Also define "promiscuous". Is it many partners in a short period of time or a large amount of partners over a long time span? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Could have fooled me. A lot of girls I know **** as if its their last day on earth. Yes, but not all. I think the more promiscuous girls/women are in the spotlight more. Also define "promiscuous". Is it many partners in a short period of time or a large amount of partners over a long time span?Wikipedia: Promiscuity, in human sexual behaviour, is the practice of casual sex with multiple sexual partners. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 That's why I'm skipping the experience altogther. At my stage in life I know when I leave college that I will be making more if not grossly more than the average bear. If women start to find themselves "attracted" to me in my late-20s/early-30s, I'll know why. Skipping the experience is kind of a mistake, also money is attractive just like looks, personality. So while I don't agree 100%... As a guy I was the untouchable dweeb from probably age 12 to around 25. The common reactions I got from women were either 1) ignore it and hope it goes away or 2) hit it with a stick. I have since improved things for myself but as a result of the above I'm very wary and non-committal. Drives my GF nuts but I can't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I do wonder if there is not a vicious cycle going on with the hook-up culture. More women are promiscuous, causing less men to want to commit, which in turn causes more women to act promiscuously, ... ... ... ?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Could have fooled me. A lot of girls I know **** as if its their last day on earth. Screw em if you can just make sure to use a condom. Also you can forget about taking those ones home to meet Mom they aren't that kind of material. BTW, if you're wondering who will be hitting you up to take care of em when you are 30 and have a nice house, BMW, no beer gut and all your teeth...it will be them... Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I'm throwing in the towel with the whole dating thing.Best idea you've had yet! Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Screw em if you can just make sure to use a condom. Also you can forget about taking those ones home to meet Mom they aren't that kind of material. BTW, if you're wondering who will be hitting you up to take care of em when you are 30 and have a nice house, BMW, no beer gut and all your teeth...it will be them... In my mind, most girls are not "take home to mom" material. A lot of my friends have had bad experiences with girls downplaying experience or omitting the number of sexual partners they have had. A lot of girls try to refashion themselves as "commitment worthy" when they were the party girl years earlier. I have also heard some stories that make me want to not live on this planet anymore or turn asexual at the very least. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 "Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women" In alot of ways this is true Link to post Share on other sites
The Introvert Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 "Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women" In alot of ways this is true You know what, you are right mate.I have never dated before and I have been observing the daitng scene for a while now, I went to a boys school and every one judged in part by his ability to attract girls, guys who didn't attract girs like me were nicknamed 'widowers' and in my case nothing has ever changed about that.What surprises me is that even those I consider the biggest jerks have nice girlfriends. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 In my mind, most girls are not "take home to mom" material. A lot of my friends have had bad experiences with girls downplaying experience or omitting the number of sexual partners they have had. A lot of girls try to refashion themselves as "commitment worthy" when they were the party girl years earlier. I have also heard some stories that make me want to not live on this planet anymore or turn asexual at the very least. Those girls trying to lie their way to get a good guy are manipulators. It's the girl version of a guy lying about loving her to get laid that's all. You know how guys can be lying bastards, *******s, backstabbers? Well women can be like that too. Once you realize this - not just say it but truly, deep down inside, realize it to be true - all those bad experiences will make perfect sense. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 "Men are judged in part on their ability to attract women" In alot of ways this is true I would argue that women are judged more on that aspect than men are. Men are judged more on their ability to lead and to earn a living. Link to post Share on other sites
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