Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I cant explain it, but I have this feeling that my girlfriend could be cheating on me. I don't have evidence. We have been dating 8 months but known each other for 6 years. I get this really strong feeling to go through her phone but she is very protective of it and doesn't let it leave her side most of the time. She's very attractive, which could also be part of the problem from my end. I guess my biggest issues is she never wants to have sex and is very protective of her phone. I was raised to be aware of everything so I figured maybe its is just that and I am very protective of myself. I try to also expect the unexpected. Could I just have trust issues or should I listen to my gut feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I cant explain it, but I have this feeling that my girlfriend could be cheating on me. I don't have evidence. We have been dating 8 months but known each other for 6 years. I get this really strong feeling to go through her phone but she is very protective of it and doesn't let it leave her side most of the time. She's very attractive, which could also be part of the problem from my end. I guess my biggest issues is she never wants to have sex and is very protective of her phone. I was raised to be aware of everything so I figured maybe its is just that and I am very protective of myself. I try to also expect the unexpected. Could I just have trust issues or should I listen to my gut feeling? Is the lack of interest in sex and being guarded with the phone new? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 kind of she would always be on it but not its like she doesn't want to leave it alone, like before she would leave it when she went to the bathroom now she takes it in there or ask me to bring it to her. We never a lot of sex but we lived in different towns and only saw each other on weekends. Now we live together for about 3 weeks and only had sex once. I just masturbate now and don't even bother trying. Only sexual excitement I get is having to read ads on like craigslist to see how exciting or dirty I guess other people sex lives are. I been thinking I made a mistake by moving to this town here. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Two red flags would be enough for me to wonder what the hell I was doing, too.... No sex? And you've 'known' each other for 6 years, but dating a fraction of that - and already? No sex?? Hiding/holding on to her phone? My H and I regularly use each others' phones, depending on which one is closer to hand.... Yup. Big mistake moving down there, I think..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 yeah, like she teases me all the time but never really goes through with it. The other night I got oral but I had to literally put in her mouth and do all the work myself. My biggest concern is I'm about to work 2nd shift which I feel is like the shift where cheating is most possible. She works first so by the time she gets off ill be at work and wont be home to midnight which gives her all the time in the world to do whatever. It's hard to get in her phone when she sleep I think she will wake up. I heard her watching tv, when in the room to see if maybe she left it on the night stand nope she has it with her and is not napping on the couch so I can't get to it Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I cant explain it, but I have this feeling that my girlfriend could be cheating on me. I don't have evidence. We have been dating 8 months but known each other for 6 years. I get this really strong feeling to go through her phone but she is very protective of it and doesn't let it leave her side most of the time. She's very attractive, which could also be part of the problem from my end. I guess my biggest issues is she never wants to have sex and is very protective of her phone. I was raised to be aware of everything so I figured maybe its is just that and I am very protective of myself. I try to also expect the unexpected. Could I just have trust issues or should I listen to my gut feeling? I think you should let her know how you feel and make sure she still wants to be in a relationship with you. Be honest. Tell her it really makes you doubt her, the way she is protective of her phone, that she isn't into making love with you. Those are red flags, worth looking into. There are reasons why she isn't into sex. Could be depression, could be she isn't as attracted to you as much as before..and that eventually will become an issue. 8 months of dating, and the sex isn't good and has more or less stopped? not a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Don't snoop. That's not a good idea. Confront her and tell her your doubts and why you're unhappy sexually, so you think that although you've known each other a long time, this relationship schytt just isn't working for you, and you're leaving.. Drop the bombshell and see what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 oh I know she would prolly say its your loss and that would be it Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Well, it's your loss while you're with her, so how would that be any different? You'd be free to go dating again, and maybe find a partner who first of all, has no secrets, and secondly would be great in bed, so... ... How would that be a loss, exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 you make good points, I mean I know sex isn't everything but I love it and I love being sexual with the person I'm with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 I think moving here was a big mistake, I feel lonely here. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 you make good points, I mean I know sex isn't everything but I love it and I love being sexual with the person I'm with. No, wrong. You're only 8 months into the relationship, and while true, sex ISN'T everything, it would be great - and should be, at this stage. You know what they say, "When the sex is fine, it forms 5% of the relationship (with regard to significance or issue). When the sex is NOT fine, it forms 95% of the relationship (with regard to significance or issue)." Sex - is not fine. And it's the proverbial 'elephant in the room' and will always be au uncomfortable issue. If you're lonely - do something about it. Don't Whine. Act - go to it, and do what's best for you. Otherwise, how long would you be happy for this to keep playing out this way? Or put it another way - you're wasting time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mccool023 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 thanks tara Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Could I just have trust issues or should I listen to my gut feeling?I think your gut feeling is right. Two red flags is enough to justify suspicion. I think you should find a time to communicate with her with the utmost honesty. 1. Tell her that the lack of sex and her protectiveness over her phone have been troubling you. 2. Tell her that you would appreciate honesty from her. Ask her why she doesn't want to have sex and why she's so protective of her phone. 3. Say that you don't want to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive enough to have regular sex with. When speak to her, use a confident and calm tone. The idea is not to strike her as a clingy door mat. You're a man who knows what he wants from a relationship. Observe her as as she answers. If she gets super-defensive, tries to blame shift/guilt trip, and doesn't engage in a forthcoming conversation, I'd say chances are she's trying to play you and the relationship is done. Even if she hasn't cheated, I wouldn't be able to deal with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with me (yet likes to tease me) and then avoids addressing the issue of no sex. That would be enough of a deal breaker for me. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I think moving here was a big mistake, I feel lonely here. This is the key fact of the matter. Sorry man. Cut your losses. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 In my experience, being overly protective of phone/computer has always been due to cheating. Lack of sex has been due to a number of reasons, cheating not being one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts