LottieLex Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I am 36 this year while my bf/partner is 42 and he has just got out from a 18years marriage 2years ago. Waay before we even met. The thing is, we have been seeing each other for about 7months now. We slept together on our 1st meeting at a pub (we were introduced by mutual friends) and from there on, things between us move at lightning speed. We are currently living together now, he has met my family and I have met all his male friends. What puzzles me is that I have never been intriduced as his girlfriend whenever we bumped into his female friends. He told me that I will never be introduce to his family either as his family and aged parents dont know he has beenseparated from his wife. I am disturbed by this fact but since I am not big on family get togethers, I let the the issue slide. He is vague about making future plans together although in the meantime, he has show me no signs that he is taking me as a booty call or a fling. For instance, he told me constantly he loves me, never flirts with other people and to keep the list short, I TRUST that he is loyal & faithful towards me. Recently, he told me I should see other people because he wont be able to commit to me as he is just too scarred from breakdown of his marriage. I took his advice and went out on a couple of dates with other men. I came home to find him moody and jealous after he knew I actually did what he suggested. What gives? I believe in marriage although I never want to be a mom. But, my current bf DOESNT EVER will get married again. Should I bail now? Or is 7months of relationship in our circumstances really TOO EARLY for any sort of commitment like my bf keeps telling me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LottieLex Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 Can a man really be displaying all the signs of commitment (moving in together, taking me out everywhere,claims he loves me, his life now is work,me & his friends ; in that order too ) but when it comes to the future, he is vague? Right now, things are still great. We laugh a lot, talk a lot, he was there for me and I was therefor him to confide in, have amazing sex, not to mention, we have a lot of comfortable nights in just with each other watching Tv. But his ambivalence of our future together bugs me. I admit all the past relationships I have been in, it was commitment and talks of marriage happen very early on in my relationship but, it never last bcos I got bored after a year. Am I not losing my touch? Why wont he commit like the rest of the men before him? Link to post Share on other sites
melodicintention Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 If you aren't introduced as a girlfriend then he probably isn't advertising you as his girlfriend. He's vague? I'd say that him telling you to see other people makes it pretty clear this a fling to him. He's saying everything short of "I don't want to commit to you, I just want that fine bootie for now." Men his age just coming out of 18 year marriages hardly want to get married right away again. He likely wants to play the field, sow the wild oats he missed out on the past nearly 2 decades. Sorry to be brutally honest, but you are setting yourself up for him to use you. If you want a relationship, find another guy who wants one too. this guys VERY obviously doesn't want to marry or even make you a girlfriend. Not that he would deserve you in that capacity anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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