What do you think of this article?? "Trapping" men into pregnancy

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Then you have no one to blame but yourself. If you WAIT until your eggs die, you can't blame a man for that. That is your doing.

 

And how am I supposed to prevent that?

If you're so gungho about sperm banks YOU go to one with all the weirdos and creepers. I will pass.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Why should the man have to raise / pay for a kid that he wasn't ready for because you decided to take away his ability to choose when he is ready ?

 

 

All I'm seeing is me me me I I I and no one else matters.

 

He should be happy and if he loved me he would be happy about it.

[Delilah1623]

22 with no job, trying to trick your 20 year old barely boyfriend into having a baby with you? The fact that you would even consider this shows you have a lot of growing up to do before the thought of having a child should even cross your mind.

[Keenly]

He should be happy and if he loved me he would be happy about it.

 

Emotional manipulation and more selfishness.

 

 

 

 

 

You can not possibly be a real person.

[miss_jaclynrae]

And how am I supposed to prevent that?

If you're so gungho about sperm banks YOU go to one with all the weirdos and creepers. I will pass.

 

Oh honey, that's the thing. I don't HAVE to.

 

 

You prevent it by growing up and entering into a mature relationship and it goes from there.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

22 with no job, trying to trick your 20 year old barely boyfriend into having a baby with you? The fact that you would even consider this shows you have a lot of growing up to do before the thought of having a child should even cross your mind.

 

No actually I am not trying to trick him, I realize he is 20 and has other goals and it wouldn't be fair to him. However at 30 if I am with someone and not married with no babies idk because thats no good.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Oh honey, that's the thing. I don't HAVE to.

 

 

You prevent it by growing up and entering into a mature relationship and it goes from there.

 

Ok well find me a mature relationship... wait never mind.

 

And YOU are not married to your boyfriend so until you are married to him you do have to think about it.

[miss_jaclynrae]

No actually I am not trying to trick him, I realize he is 20 and has other goals and it wouldn't be fair to him. However at 30 if I am with someone and not married with no babies idk because thats no good.

 

OH lordy.

 

So you WOULD do it if you were 30?

So instead of ruining just one life, you would rather ruin 2?

 

 

Logic.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Emotional manipulation and more selfishness.

 

 

 

 

 

You can not possibly be a real person.

 

Look like I said I have seen it before. It worked out fine for the people I know, I don't know the women necessarily tricked them but it was definitely unplanned. Again not saying I would do it, just saying it has worked for people I know.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Ok well find me a mature relationship... wait never mind.

 

And YOU are not married to your boyfriend so until you are married to him you do have to think about it.

 

No I don't.

 

 

 

You are the one freaking out about having a baby young, not me. I may not even be able to have babies, so adoption is also an option.

 

I won't even consider having a child unless I KNOW I can give it the best life I possibly can.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

OH lordy.

 

So you WOULD do it if you were 30?

So instead of ruining just one life, you would rather ruin 2?

 

 

Logic.

 

I don't see a baby as ruining anyones life actually.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I don't see a baby as ruining anyone's life actually.

 

You're right, not ruining life.

More like ruining opportunities.

[Keenly]

I don't see a baby as ruining anyones life actually.

 

Because you are incapable of both empathy and seeing the world through other people's eyes.

 

 

If I had a baby right now, it would in fact actually ruin my life. I do not have the time nor the money to raise a kid .

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Because you are incapable of both empathy and seeing the world through other people's eyes.

 

 

If I had a baby right now, it would in fact actually ruin my life. I do not have the time nor the money to raise a kid .

 

Ok having a baby right now would definitely CHANGE my life drastically since I don't work and I live at home but there are people who deal with worst circumstances. Like I said 100 times I am not planning on trapping anyone right now, I like the guy i'm with and I'm excited for all of our plans and to keep getting to know him however I am not into the idea of being 30 and not having a serious commitment, actually I'm not into the idea of being 25 with no serious commitment BUT we will see where my life is at 25.

[iris219]

You guys are hard on IB. Some of you act like she's some evil super villain when clearly she's a young girl in a lot pain.

 

Yes, she's immature and selfish, as are a lot of young people. Yes, she can be judgmental and say outrageous things, but it all comes from a place of extreme fear. LS is a place for her to vent and I think many of her responses are exaggerated.

 

She's not trying to trap anyone into getting her pregnant. Remember the thread she made where she was terrified that might be pregnant? She didn't want to be pregnant. I'm not sure she knows what she wants, other than to be loved, like all of us. She's not getting this the way she wants, so she chooses to be unloving towards others sometimes. She a young, angry girl who is trying to figure it all out, here and in therapy. She's working to improve herself. She's trying to be a better person and live a fulfilling life.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

She's not trying to trap anyone into getting her pregnant. Remember the thread she made where she was terrified that might be pregnant? She didn't want to be pregnant.

 

Did you read that whole thread? I did. My impression of it was not the same as yours.

 

I don't think that age excuses being incapable of empathy or any kind of emotional connection to other human beings. And being incapable of those things is guaranteed to make for a train wreck of a parent.

Edited June 17, 2013 by Mme. Chaucer

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Did you read that whole thread? I did. My impression of it was not the same as yours.

 

I don't think that age excuses being incapable of empathy or any kind of emotional connection to other human beings. And being incapable of those things is guaranteed to make for a train wreck of a parent.

 

So i should feel sorry for stupid people who do stupid things, I can have emotional connections with people so... I have no idea what you're talking about BUT lucky for me that you don't get to decide when or how or where or with who I have kids by. You can say I will be a terrible, horrible, idiot mom and thats fine you can have that opinion BUT it doesn't matter at all. YOU AREN'T GOD AND YOU CANT DO ANYTHING.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Yes you can... not everyone thinks that having a baby, especially one they might not want s a wonderful thing.

 

OMG. He WOULD be prepared, he'd be wearing a condom, but if you poke a hole in it you are negating his choices. You are UNPREPARING him, it's not his fault. By that logic, you should be forced to have "I may force you to breed against your will or knowledge" tattooed on your forehead as a public service.

know a number of people who have done it. Not one of them is gross or weird. One was about to lose his fertility, so to reduce his cost of invitro later he donated.

Another did it for a friend who is a lesbian.

And a 3rd did it because he thought it would be helpful and he's got a GENIUS iq. Brilliant man.

 

 

You don't get to make that decision FOR other people though.

You know a bunch of men who have done it and a lesbian.. well how else would a lesbian get sperm? so they don't count as much and the men I mean thats different I mean weird women who couldn't get real men to get them pregnant so they go to a sperm bank, I don't want to be in that category

[miss_jaclynrae]

You know a bunch of men who have done it and a lesbian.. well how else would a lesbian get sperm? so they don't count as much and the men I mean thats different I mean weird women who couldn't get real men to get them pregnant so they go to a sperm bank, I don't want to be in that category

 

You are right, tricking a man into giving you his sperm is SO much less weird.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

You are right, tricking a man into giving you his sperm is SO much less weird.

 

Like I said I wouldn't trick a man into getting me pregnant BUT at least it will have happened in a natural way and not in an office of a sperm bank. That would be so embarrassing for a kid to know.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Like I said I wouldn't trick a man into getting me pregnant BUT at least it will have happened in a natural way and not in an office of a sperm bank. That would be so embarrassing for a kid to know.

 

 

 

You can't be serious right?

So poking holes or lying about contraception is TOTALLY natural.

 

 

 

 

How embarrassing would it be for a kid to have a mom who was willing to stoop so low as to trick a man who didn't want a child with her into having one.

 

SO LESS EMBARRASSING OMG YOU GUYS.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

 

 

You can't be serious right?

So poking holes or lying about contraception is TOTALLY natural.

 

 

 

 

How embarrassing would it be for a kid to have a mom who was willing to stoop so low as to trick a man who didn't want a child with her into having one.

 

SO LESS EMBARRASSING OMG YOU GUYS.

 

The kid wouldn't know that. Do you think the women in this story had their babies and when they were old enough to ask about their life they said "oh well mommy poked a hole in the condom" no that never happens. Whereas going to a sperm bank the kid is going to say "wheres my dad?" "oh i went to a sperm bank and picked out some sperm to make you" gross. no thanks.

[FitChick]

Men, this is why you can never believe a woman who says she is using birth control. Unless you have driven her to the doc to have her tubes tied or a hysterectomy. If you don't want kids or are undecided, get a vasectomy. Worry about a reversal later. Don't be a baby or you'll have a baby.

 

Better yet, only date women over 45.

[KungFuJoe]

Men, this is why you can never believe a woman who says she is using birth control. Unless you have driven her to the doc to have her tubes tied or a hysterectomy. If you don't want kids or are undecided, get a vasectomy. Worry about a reversal later. Don't be a baby or you'll have a baby.

 

Better yet, only date women over 45.

 

Um...I'm sure you probably didn't mean what you said but you most definitely don't get a vasectomy if you are "undecided".

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Nope, but can you guarantee the dad who thinks you are a manipulative, conniving and disgusting human being for tricking him into something he didn't want isn't going to tell?

Even if his opinion changes over time and he comes to accept the baby and thinks the baby is amazing, he's never going to think you did the right thing. He's always going to resent you for taking away his choices in his own life. ALWAYS.

 

But why would he tell his child?