UnicornGirl Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 My bf and I decided to break up because the framework of our relationship wasn't working, but agreed that we have something special together that we want to keep. So we're still seeing each other, spending time together, though so far it's been so brief. He agreed that we could get back together and we could not. But we're barely seeing each other -- like once every two weeks. How can we get back together if we never see each other or talk? He insists he is busy with studying for exams, but I find it hard to believe. I'm so frustrated. One of my male friends told me that obviously this guy doesn't love me, and I shouldn't waste my time trying to be friends with someone who isn't crazy about me. It's so painful -- one day we are so in love with each other, despite our problems, the next day he wants to throw everything away. Then we agree to this setup instead of totally breaking off, because that's what we both want, but he insists on calling it a breakup, not a break. Two weeks later he says he'll call and doesn't call for 8 days, and acts totally casual when I call him. Sometimes on the phone, he'll leave me a message and his voice sounds like a totally different person -- overconfident, too deep, business casual. We saw each other for lunch recently and it was nice, but he says he's too busy to get together until 2 weeks from now. I really want to talk to him about his behavior but I think it'll just backfire. I'm so confused!!! This weird, macho behavior coming from a guy who just four weeks ago poured out his feelings to me practically every day, was so sensitive, kind, sweet, and loving, and my best friend. I feel like he's a stranger now, but I am so powerless to tell him any of this. It sucks to feel this way... Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 If this guy really likes you, he would want to see you more then twice a month. I mean, once every two weeks?! That's ridulous. A guy who wants to be with you will make time for you, despite is ever so busy schedule... I read that book that was on Oprah a few weeks ago....The line that really stood out to me was: "Busy is another word for a**h***, a**h*** is another word for the guy you're dating" The point is that a guy who really likes you will make time for you and won't wait 8 days to call you. If he really liked you then nothing could keep him away. Now go find a guy who pours his heart out to you AND wants to be with you a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnicornGirl Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 I thought that 3 and a half years of friendship and love couldn't just flip over to permanent dislike, but maybe so... I feel like saying, "If you really wanted to see me and you really cared for me, nothing could keep you away from me, even work. It certainly wouldn't bar me coming to see you for an hour-long lunch this week. All I can deduce from your behavior is that you don't give a damn about me anymore and just want to see me so you can feel good about yourself. Goodbye forever." But something holds me back. I somehow want to forgive him. He certainly needs to forgive me for all the hell I've put him through before we get back together. Maybe this is his way of dealing. I'm not waiting around doing nothing though ... I definitely have my own life. Unfortunately every other guy I meet is nothing compared to this one. And yes, I am giving them a real chance. This sucks. For the supposed love of your life and the closest friend you've ever had, who has proposed marriage to you and vowed to spend his life with you, to act cocky, distant, and like he doesn't give a **** that you exist --- well, maybe a small ****, enough to see you now and then -- is so painful. He has no idea how he's coming across to me and no idea what I've been through these past 5 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
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