mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I am sooooo glad to have found this site. I was walking my dog at a park and saw my MM's 16 year old daughter (We live in the same area). I didn't know she knew me, but as I was walking by, she stopped me and asked me my name. Yes, I told her and she then told me she knew who I was and what I was doing with her dad and proceeded to call me a wh***, another choice word and flipped me off. She said some other nasty things, told me to stay away from him and walked off. I don't know what to do. Do I tell her father? This happened yesterday and I've been crying on and off and just dont know what to do. Im just in shock that she did that to me. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Sorry to hear it, that sounds pretty awful. The plain fact is when you get involved with someone who is married, you are getting involved with their family too. The MM could have warned you the rest of his family knew (unless he doesn't know, in which case he's in for a shock!). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 I dont think he knows. I swear this is something that would only happen in a movie, but nope, my real life. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 What I terrible burden for a 16 year old to carry. That's very sad. Yes, tell him. He needs to set things straight with his family. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I am sooooo glad to have found this site. I was walking my dog at a park and saw my MM's 16 year old daughter (We live in the same area). I didn't know she knew me, but as I was walking by, she stopped me and asked me my name. Yes, I told her and she then told me she knew who I was and what I was doing with her dad and proceeded to call me a wh***, another choice word and flipped me off. She said some other nasty things, told me to stay away from him and walked off. I don't know what to do. Do I tell her father? This happened yesterday and I've been crying on and off and just dont know what to do. Im just in shock that she did that to me. i was in her position when i was year or so younger than her. she's taken it upon herself to 'fix' things before her family falls apart. she's probably trying to protect her mother from pain by approaching you directly. however, both you and her father should start preparing for a Dday soon. i would contact MM, tell him what happened, and advise him to come clean to his wife. i don't know why you're 'in shock'. she's reacting in a manner that's completely expected from a young teenage girl. and no matter how hurt and in shock you might be by what she called you, i can guarantee that the hurt and shock she's feeling far surpasses yours. 20 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 He needs to be told. This isn't going to just go away. This happened to a man I know after he was careless in his fb communications. His wife wasn't tech savvy, but his daughter was! Not good. Kids shouldn't be in this position 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 just dont know what to do.How about never speaking to or interacting with her father again. That would help. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Well I'm in shock because I didn't expect her to even know who I was, and secondly to treat me like that, I didn't deserve it. I havent told him because I didn't want to ruin his Father's day, and I don't want him to be upset that I even talked to her. I know his wife won't act like that, she's a dormat. I love my MM, so I can't just stop talking to him. He is my man, and I care deeply and love him very much. I know I'm gonna have to tell him soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I love my MM, so I can't just stop talking to him. He is my man, and I care deeply and love him very much. You love him. He loves his children. Do you, by extension, care about his children? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I didn't deserve it.Why did you not deserve it? 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Well I'm in shock because I didn't expect her to even know who I was, and secondly to treat me like that, I didn't deserve it. I havent told him because I didn't want to ruin his Father's day, and I don't want him to be upset that I even talked to her. I know his wife won't act like that, she's a dormat. I love my MM, so I can't just stop talking to him. He is my man, and I care deeply and love him very much. I know I'm gonna have to tell him soon. you didn't want to ruin his father's day?! you.... do realise that his daughter is the reason he gets to celebrate? and in her eyes, yes you do deserve it. if you refuse to take yourself out of this situation, get prepared for some stuff going down real soon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I didn't want to ruin his Father's day Such irony....you don't want to tell him how his actions have affected his daughter because it will ruin his father's day. If he deserves the title "father", he would want to know that his teenage daughter is struggling with his secret. ASAP. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Love is the most powerful thing in the world. But I want to know what you think about hurting his children and why you don't think you're in the wrong. You've got to deal with these questions honestly, to yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Way I Am Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I didn't deserve it. I don't think anyone deserves to be called a wh*re (unless they're getting paid for sex, then the term is accurate). But I'd bet the 16 year old fully believes you deserved it and doesn't regret saying that to you one bit. You may or may not have deserved to be berated, but you should have considered it as a possible result of your actions. You really should tell her father that she knows so he can work on healing his relationship with her. Your relationship is secondary to that of a parent and child. That would be the case even if this man were single. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Well I'm in shock because I didn't expect her to even know who I was, and secondly to treat me like that, I didn't deserve it. I havent told him because I didn't want to ruin his Father's day, and I don't want him to be upset that I even talked to her. I know his wife won't act like that, she's a dormat. I love my MM, so I can't just stop talking to him. He is my man, and I care deeply and love him very much. I know I'm gonna have to tell him soon. Hey Mariah, Did you know she was his daughter when you told her your name and spoke to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 You love him. He loves his children. Do you, by extension, care about his children? I care about what he cares about, so yes. I know you might think I don't, but I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Hey Mariah, Did you know she was his daughter when you told her your name and spoke to her? Yes, I've seen her photos before, so I recognized her at the park. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I care about what he cares about, so yes. I know you might think I don't, but I do. I don't think you don't. I believe you. I'm so sorry about this situation -- it's awful for everybody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I care about what he cares about, so yes. I know you might think I don't, but I do. yet you put yourself before her. if he's at all worth the title of a father, when time comes for him to choose - it will be his child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariah33 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 If you're so adament that he's YOUR man, and you didn't deserve to be treated like that, why didn't you speak up when she did it, instead of simpering away and crying about it? If your plan is to be his OW, you'll need to grow some thicker skin. Most people likely won't understand that "he's your man" as he is married, and not to you. At first I did want to tell her off but I thought that she might tell my MM and then it would make me look bad. I also didnt say anything cause I was just shocked that it even happened. I dont wish to be the OW forever, I plan on being his only woman, hopefully soon when he tells his wife. I know he isn't married to me, but his heart is with me, not wife, and he has told me this many times. Link to post Share on other sites
threelaurels Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 She is 16. On a conscious level, she may realize that the the betrayal of her mother and family rests mostly on her father's shoulders, but she loves him and, as a result, is mostly blind to his role in the situation. It is always easier to blame a stranger than someone you loved and trusted. You have little hope for ever having a decent relationship with her (or MM's other children, if they exist). You are, and will always be, the villain in her mind. Had this happened to me when I was 16, I'm pretty sure I would have punched you in the face, set your house on fire, or done something else illegal to try and hurt you. I wasn't very mature at that age. I suppose you should consider yourself lucky that you only got chewed out and flipped off. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 How many children do they have? How old are they? Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 do you yourself have any children? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Yes, I've seen her photos before, so I recognized her at the park. What did you think was going to happen? I don't mean you should have expected what happened to happen...I'm just trying to understand what ran through your mind and how you thought the convo would go? I suppose you couldn't just lie and be like you're someone else , so she totally caught you off guard. Anyway, as the daughter of a serial cheater, I empathize with her. I suggest you inform MM of what transpired. How do you believe your relationship will proceed in light of the fact that his daughter knows you? I think a dday which will include the BW is on the horizon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 At first I did want to tell her off but I thought that she might tell my MM and then it would make me look bad. I also didnt say anything cause I was just shocked that it even happened. I dont wish to be the OW forever, I plan on being his only woman, hopefully soon when he tells his wife. I know he isn't married to me, but his heart is with me, not wife, and he has told me this many times. Mariah, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking, and how old is MM? Link to post Share on other sites
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