Mjm1014 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 This is my first post! For those that respond, thanks a bunch I truly appreciate your time to help me. Sorry if I come off as venting, I've just been really down. I'm 25 years old, I moved to an all-guy college six years ago to become a pilot-a place where females were practically non-existent. Right after I graduated I moved again to a small town in FL to work as a flight instructor-again, I am surrounded by men all day 6 days a week. No female friends because of this. The guy friends I make at work come and go since they keep getting picked up by the airlines and moving, and the ones that are still here have no females in their life either or they are in long distance relationships. On the weekends I have to go out by myself because they just would rather sit in and do nothing but drink or talk on the phone to their gf's. I go to the bar by myself, but I know I look lame drinking by myself while everyone around me is having a great time hooking up, and I feel desperate being there to "hit" on anyone especially alone. The only way I see it, if I want to meet someone is the gym (I don't miss a day, but few females are in my gym and the ones that are there are attracted to the guys that are on serious steroids and tall), I can go to the bar (I'm 5'6ish and all the girls in the bar are in heels and just look down at me and don't give me the time of day even the few times I approach them), and then there is online dating which has been an even worse option, where I have wasted more time than you would believe. I've been giving the online dating a shot and I get TONS of messages with girls that seem interested, say I'm ripped and look sexy (not trying to boast because frankly I don't think so), but as soon as I tell them my height, they drop off the face of the earth or make a rude comment that I'm a shorty and stop talking to me. Not even kidding I can't count how many times a girl seems into me, calls me a week straight only to ask how tall I am then watch her interest level plummet. I'm just really getting fed up being at this age and realizing I can go weeks without talking to a single female. I've practically been starved of the opposite sex since high school and now that I am out of college it seems impossible to meet anyone. I'm in great shape, have a good job, hate talking about myself around the ladies, but it just seems like my HEIGHT is the only thing holding me back and it makes me sick when I look at the kind of guys all the females go after. A few years ago height didn't seem to be as important, but I feel that every year it just gets more and more important due to the media. I don't even feel it's all height either- I don't have SWAG and am not all tattooed up since I need to look professional. I feel screwed. This is not to say that I haven't been in relationships, but it's usually because I drop my standards and end up either miserable, or they go out with me and take advantage of me until they meet someone taller/more attractive then end up miserable because the guy treats them horrible. QUESTIONS: 1. Ladies-in all honesty, how important is height to you? I have seriously girls that are 5'1 tell me I am WAY too short for them? I'm freaking 5-6 inches taller than most of them. 2. Can you think of any other ways to meet people besides the gym, online dating, bar? It seems like those places only attract shallow people that are looking for attention. 1
Balzac Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 You have no alums within 60 mi? Even "old" ones? Deep small town South. No female professionals? Vet, Dentist, Law, MD? There are women pilots.
OwlSoul Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 1. Ladies-in all honesty, how important is height to you? I have seriously girls that are 5'1 tell me I am WAY too short for them? I'm freaking 5-6 inches taller than most of them. It is not that important, in case the girl is searching for something serious. She'd rather ask questions about your work/plans/attitudes towards setting down and etc. as far as you're not smaller than her (even in this case I know guys who were dating girls taller than them). 2. Can you think of any other ways to meet people besides the gym, online dating, bar? It seems like those places only attract shallow people that are looking for attention. Parties? Friends of friends?
vegaslady Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I dated a dude who was 5"6 and I am 5"8. It wasn't his height that finally drove me off. It was his drinking and bad attitude. For the record, it was a guy on the job and I was the hottest girl there out of hundreds (not arrogance, just fact) so even short guys can get the dream girl to give them a chance.
L8Bl00mer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Wow, I feel your pain. I like to think that I'm suffering from a completely similar situation, except for your height, it's my weight and I'm a female - so it's even worse for me. I am not gonna lie, I feel hopeless. Of course, I could lower my standards (one could laugh at me and ask how could I have standards when I've never even been with a guy), but like you said, I'd be miserable as well. Anyway, answering your questions, firstly as a female I've never really considered height to be a big deal in my situation. It's just truly an insignificant factor to me and is something that I could easily overlook. I'm 5 foot 4, so it's not gonna be a big deal to me anyway. I honestly wouldn't mind someone who stood at my height or taller. I'm not gonna lie, it would be a bit awkward for me to be with someone who is shorter than me, but I would like to think that there would be prevailing factors that would allow me to overlook such a shallow aspect. With that said, does height matter to me? Not really, but it could be something to consider if I was really that shallow. Which I'm not really that shallow. To answer your second question, I would hope someone comes back to help me with this one because this seems to be a problem for me as well. I don't know where to go out and socialize. Bars and clubs are awkward places for me because I feel they are shallow places to attract company as well. I would mainly recommend school functions or social gatherings of a sort if you belong to a school or company. Networking. Um, I'm not sure if you are religious, but looking at church functions could help as well. Of course, having a job is a big thing that creates a network, perhaps volunteering as well. Like I said before, this is something I need help with myself. Good luck!!!
Ripnet Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Your problem isn't your height. I'm shorter 5'4", not buff. In fact I'm overweight and still can attract women. I do workout though. You mention desperate ...starving for the other sex. Men or women don't want a desperate person. Go to the club and just ask women to dance. Don't try to pick them up. Just go there for a good time. Maybe after a few dances if you can get that then ask if she wants a drink and then you socialize with her. Women want confident men not desperate or starving for the opposite sex.
electricjw Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Yeah height can be a problem, but it really just depends on the girl. I was talking to this one chick (worked with her) and she was maybe just a little bit taller than me, but she would always say that if I was just a foot taller, we would be married. Not that I wanted to marry her, but it did make me feel like, ****!! Now I'm only 5'6 and I'm talking to this girl who is 6ft. I think she used to date a guy that was 6'6 or even taller. So imagine how i felt when we started talking. But guess what, she doesnt seem to care b/c we still talk all the time and we been on a date already. Hopefully again this weekend. I think as long as you don't make a big deal about it, she might wont either, if she really likes you.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've been giving the online dating a shot and I get TONS of messages with girls that seem interested, say I'm ripped and look sexy (not trying to boast because frankly I don't think so), but as soon as I tell them my height, they drop off the face of the earth or make a rude comment that I'm a shorty and stop talking to me. So you've made a dating profile but left the "height" box blank... and now you're wasting your time (and the time of women you talk to) by talking to people who don't like guys of your height. I can see an obvious solution that would give you back some free time: put your height on your profile. Now you'll have some free time for some hobbies... though which you might meet some women.
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