Exitleft Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Has anyone here ever felt anxiety to do a partner/relationship in specific? I am coming out of a relationship that has seen me become an anxious mess. I have never had anxiety before and it seems everything this person in particular does triggers these feelings. Can anyone relate? Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinthebox Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 In my case there were underlying issues that were amplified being with him. The problem was with him in that his actions triggered insecurities in me, but the problem was also me because I had issues that needed to be resolved that I avoided. If you are worried look deep and wonder if it is you, the other person, or both. If you can't figure it try gaining insight from people who know you well as sometimes others can know you better than yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exitleft Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 In my case there were underlying issues that were amplified being with him. The problem was with him in that his actions triggered insecurities in me, but the problem was also me because I had issues that needed to be resolved that I avoided. If you are worried look deep and wonder if it is you, the other person, or both. If you can't figure it try gaining insight from people who know you well as sometimes others can know you better than yourself. Thank you Alice, I did have some trust issues going in to the relationship when it started but was generally ok until some things happened that did break my trust and we just were never able to recover again. It feels like I am always waiting for the next incident to happen and.. it usually does too. Being with this person makes me anxious as well as not being with her so, it's very difficult. And it is out of character for me. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinthebox Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Thank you Alice, I did have some trust issues going in to the relationship when it started but was generally ok until some things happened that did break my trust and we just were never able to recover again. It feels like I am always waiting for the next incident to happen and.. it usually does too. Being with this person makes me anxious as well as not being with her so, it's very difficult. And it is out of character for me. I felt the same way. If I didn't know any better this post could have been mine. BTW I read some of your other posts and we could be soulmates jk lol. We are just very similar. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exitleft Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 I felt the same way. If I didn't know any better this post could have been mine. BTW I read some of your other posts and we could be soulmates jk lol. We are just very similar. Good luck! Are you still involved with your other half or have you moved on? Sometimes I wonder if this anxiety is really just my instincts warning me. Thank you again 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Thank you Alice, I did have some trust issues going in to the relationship when it started but was generally ok until some things happened that did break my trust and we just were never able to recover again. It feels like I am always waiting for the next incident to happen and.. it usually does too. Being with this person makes me anxious as well as not being with her so, it's very difficult. And it is out of character for me. The way you're reacting and feeling is your body screaming at you, telling you this person is not right for you! It's your gut instinct. If someone makes you feel bad, makes you doubt them, makes you feel awful, even if you love them, you need to ask yourself is this person worth all this turmoil? Why are you hanging onto someone who makes you feel so bad..? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Sometimes I wonder if this anxiety is really just my instincts warning me. Thank you again 100% it's your instincts warning you. Can guarantee that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exitleft Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 The way you're reacting and feeling is your body screaming at you, telling you this person is not right for you! It's your gut instinct. If someone makes you feel bad, makes you doubt them, makes you feel awful, even if you love them, you need to ask yourself is this person worth all this turmoil? Why are you hanging onto someone who makes you feel so bad..? Thank you very much, can you tell me a bit more about how you arrived at this conclusion personally? I have had a difficult time with accepting it is my instincts because I do love her so much but I have never experienced such a consuming and overwhelming feeling in all my life. Only with her in particular. I don't suffer anxiety elsewhere. What she says and what she does are two very different things, so I can point to the exact incidents that brought on the anxiety initially. I would say I have quite low self worth to accept someone hurting me repeatedly and worst of all not thinking she is doing anything wrong because she doesn't understand how her actions are harmful to me. I finally have the courage at the moment, to move on knowing she will only continue as long as I allow her. I have a challenge ahead of me yet. The anxiety is very strong with her present, I get pangs of it for her when she's gone and I feel like I am losing the best thing I ever had, even though I know it's not true. I think what's most telling is the sense of relief and peace that washes over me when it looks like it's nearing the end. Sad but true. I wondered if I had developed relationship anxiety but there is no way to tell since she was my last relationship. I had some trust issues initially but gave her the benefit of the doubt and .. well you know the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Exitleft Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 100% it's your instincts warning you. Can guarantee that! Thank you. Sadly, I agree that it may be true Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinthebox Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Are you still involved with your other half or have you moved on? Sometimes I wonder if this anxiety is really just my instincts warning me. Thank you again Oh no definitely not. It might be both. Link to post Share on other sites
KansasChica Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I agree with the previous posters. I'm fairly anxious, but something just screamed out at me with the last guy I dated. I really cared for him, we had a great time together, but just something seemed off. He kept sending me mixed messages- that he wanted to move things faster, yet never had time for me. He was affectionate, but would never hold my hand in public. He always had a single status on facebook, even after the "define the relationship" talk and he was ALWAYS friending younger, attractive women on facebook even in his early 30's. There were so many red flags as well- he telling me that he thought a 6 month relationship was a long one and the fact that he hadn't had a long-term girlfriend in 10 years. My gut screamed at me that this wasn't going to work, but of course I ignored it. For four months, I was nervous and tense, but I tried to remain calm and communicated when I felt that I was being neglected. Then, sure enough, he bolted, but couldn't give me a reason why. Trust your gut... it wasn't right. Link to post Share on other sites
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