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Challenge and Chase!!!


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Typical situation...

 

A guy is chasing a girl (me) when he has a current relationship with someone else.

 

Background- This guy who is 30 lives with his current gf whom he is "not in love with", she is a "gold digger", she is "mean" and he "knows he will not marry her". He and I have been friends for about 5 years (went to the same high school/same college/ in the same professional industry).

 

He has always emphasized that he had a crush on me, has sent me flowers in the past, thinks I am "out of his league", etc...

 

Now, we speak every day via im and in the last month I have seen him 3 times (we live in different states). We do not hook up. We made that clear as he does not want to cheat and I don't want to be the "other girl". However he tells me that he loves me (which is so weird) thinks I am beautiful, respects me, saids he wants to mentally get to know me better.

 

So he has a plan that by Dec. 1st he is going to break up with this girl, give her the apt. he will move out... He feels bad hurting her. I said how do you come home to her well knowingly you are going to hurt her in several months- he saids they never even see each other.. bc he is working and she is in night school.

 

I don't want any part in this its silly- if he wants to pursue me then he will but not while he has a gf. what do you guys think? do you think he just likes the challenge/chase?

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Originally posted by SMF

Typical situation...

 

A guy is chasing a girl (me) when he has a current relationship with someone else.

 

Background- This guy who is 30 lives with his current gf whom he is "not in love with", she is a "gold digger", she is "mean" and he "knows he will not marry her". He and I have been friends for about 5 years (went to the same high school/same college/ in the same professional industry).

 

He has always emphasized that he had a crush on me, has sent me flowers in the past, thinks I am "out of his league", etc...

 

Now, we speak every day via im and in the last month I have seen him 3 times (we live in different states). We do not hook up. We made that clear as he does not want to cheat and I don't want to be the "other girl". However he tells me that he loves me (which is so weird) thinks I am beautiful, respects me, saids he wants to mentally get to know me better.

 

So he has a plan that by Dec. 1st he is going to break up with this girl, give her the apt. he will move out... He feels bad hurting her. I said how do you come home to her well knowingly you are going to hurt her in several months- he saids they never even see each other.. bc he is working and she is in night school.

 

I don't want any part in this its silly- if he wants to pursue me then he will but not while he has a gf. what do you guys think? do you think he just likes the challenge/chase?

 

I think you're a wise girl to insist IF he wishes to persue you that he do so AFTER he's ended the relationship with his live in girlfriend.

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Is this gentleman 30 or 13? I don't know what he wants--but who wants a guy who derides his current girlfriend to another person? He should get his act together, end his relationship, and get out on his own two feet before he thinks of dating someone else.

 

Make the clear statement with one last IM that you don't want to hear from him until his relationship with his girlfriend is over and he has his own residence. I'd still be wary of even dating him then.

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He needs to poop or get off the potty seat.....meaning he needs to be free and SINGLE and even then, why would YOU want your newest prospect flirting with other girls while he is with someone ( which is you ) fastforward....what he is doing right now....with her and flirting with you....HELLO ? History has a way of repeating itself...I am not so sure about this one...

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