Heavensdreamer Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 4 years ago my story with MM started. We clicked from the moment we met. We had an emotional affair, then it turned physical, later to go back to simply emotional. We feel like we are the (opposite sex) version of each other. We click. just over 2 years ago, W asked him to chose between me and her, he was distraught. We work together so staying away would be hard, but I did what I felt was the most honorable thing, since he did want to try and fix things, I backed out. If we had to talk for work, it was brief and very tense. There was always a longing to keep talking, especially when the other seemed to have a bad day. that seemed like the end to my story.... beginning of last year out of nowhere he called me and apologized. Said he made a mistake and wished for nothing more than my friendship back. We would talk but never be alone, never touched and although being around him was difficult because it seemed forced, it was nice to be friendly again. He left W in Dec of last year, He was flirting with me when he first told me about leaving W and our mutual flirtation began again. there was promise to start the physical up again, our schedules just never allowed it. He started dating his new GF not one month after the split. He wants to be faithful so our flirtation went on a back burner. I have had a few short term relationships, and some FWB situations, He seems supportive of them at first, then is quick to agree when I bring up where they were wrong for me. He does agree that I need to be in a relationship (i disagree because of my MANY obligations...thats a different story!) but is also quick to agree when I say why I dont want one. recently, he has started talking to me more and more, about his relationship, which he describes as "perfect when they are together" but strained because exW is making things unbearable... harassing them, and making threats. There are children involved and I have been giving him advise and suggestions all along the way to make things easier. The new GF had broken up with him for 2 days because of it (She is also 10 years younger, and has children also) but decided she didnt want exW to ruin their relationship. The reason I bring that up, is because NOW I am the person he talks to about exW...we are both perverted thinkers and for the most part kept our conersations PG rated. Now His way of talking has changed, I kinda missed it so I am guilty of the innuendos also. Last week we spent the entire shift together, working and talking, he showed up for no other reason than he was so furious about exW behaviors, he had to talk to someone. He has brought up our past a few times, I try to forget it because I want to see him happy. He seems to be happy with the new GF, though I am not sure if its because of her, or because he is no longer with exW...he says its all because of new gf.... The whole reason for this story is, I miss him as a friend, but feel that our conversations are on the verge of inappropriate because of our past. When I bring this up, he simply says I am over thinking things again. I have told him my thoughts, He says I have nothing to worry about because he is happy with GF and does not want to screw it up. When there is an innuendo, or rather too many for comfort I tell him that we will never have sex again, to which he says never say never, you will just jinx it. I think he is trying to have another emotional affair with me again, I dont want to lose him as a friend but also dont want to mess up his new found happiness... I figure this site would not judge me for have been the OW in his past, and for wanting to remain friends with him... I will bow out again, if that is what is best, I just dont know anymore what is right, and what is just making bigger problems. any advice would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heavensdreamer Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) Kristi, yes for the most part I do get something out of the relationship. I have leaned on him for advice and just for other moral support, we also are a star team at work, and are placed on jobs together at least once a month. I do enjoy the flirtation but again don't want to get in the way of his relationship with GF. I know he cheated, i know many of the reasons he did, and they are not all valid... Alexandria-it was not, and still is not an option. I dont have the time, I have school work, kids of my own and other committees I am on. for that alone I have not wanted any man for a relationship, he was the one who suggested the FWB (with other men) that has also not been a good option for me. I am not a "secret" friend, she knows of me, but unless I meet her, he and I will only have our work time together, lunches in the cafeteria, jobs we are on together ect. I am ok with that, and he seems to be also. We have different days off and his kids are both boys, mine both girls... when they were younger (when he was M) the kids would play together... now they have different interest so we dont push the point. the time we tried to get all the kids (hers, his and mine) didnt work out like we planned, scheduling issues... I wish I knew what was so special about him! I think some of it is because we had been through so much the first year we were friends. We have the same twisted sense of humor and seem to click when we are in the same area... it is actually uncomfortable not to... I do not feel a strong sexual attraction to him, though obviously could... thank you for your advice I do appreciate it. Edited June 17, 2013 by Heavensdreamer Link to post Share on other sites
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