lostgirl23 Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 First post on here and I think its in the right forum. I met this guy through pof last year, we texted each other for a few weeks and met up around Christmas. We hit it off and started seeing each other, however he still was active on the site and I didn't see much of him in January or February, he said work was really busy. Things got better after that, I thought we got closer and he often says he thinks the world of me and really cares about me. I logged back into pof about a week ago to see that he deleted the profile that he had but I came across a profile that sounded very like him. I asked him about it and he said he hasn't been on the site since he met me and that he didn't make another profile. He said I was the only girl he wanted. I know he is lying about logging in to pof, I have seen him online in the months we were going out and im convinced the other profile is his. I really like him but am I wasting my time with him? He seems like he is interested in me and has asked to meet my family although he didn't mention me meeting his. I don't know whether to stick with him or leave, he is the one that makes first contact the most, like texting me or asking to go somewhere. Any opinions would really help, apologies for the long post but it has been bothering me for a while:o Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Just confront him. Show him what you found and ask him for the truth. If he has been on PoF the whole time, then yes, you are wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Are you even in an exclusive relationship with him? (Have you two had the discussion and agreed you are boyfriend/girlfriend?) Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. With him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 So....you're upset because he's been doing the same thing as you (logging on to POF)? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostgirl23 Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 So....you're upset because he's been doing the same thing as you (logging on to POF)? I hid my profile while his was still public, and I only logged in every once in a while to see if he was still active on it. It takes me a while to fully trust someone. he seems genuine when were together I don't know Im so confused over him. I've tried talking to him but he clams up. He is really a shy quiet type of person Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostgirl23 Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 Are you even in an exclusive relationship with him? (Have you two had the discussion and agreed you are boyfriend/girlfriend?) he asked me to be his girlfriend about a month after we started seeing each other and he said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 You came across a profile that "sounds like him", but you are not positive?You're looking for "evidence" that may not be there. Throw that in his face and see how fast he runs. Had you stopped logging in to check on him, you would know NONE of this, and would actually be working on finding out where you stand with him. He initiates contact most of the time. Why is this? Do you want to give this a chance or just find a reason to make sure it doesn't work out? Because you're doing a fine job of the latter. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 he asked me to be his girlfriend about a month after we started seeing each other and he said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else So, that's where you stand, but you "know he is lying". Think about how this sounds! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I would take him at his word as long as his behavior is solid. If he flakes, won't let you come over to his house, just generally seems to be hiding things then something might be up. Otherwise he sounds truthful to me. Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I feel sorry for this guy... He needs to run out of this relationship ASAP! So you are logging in to a dating site to supposedly check to see if your BF is loging in to a dating site? Then you give him hell for a profile that sounds like him, but isn't him. Where is the normal logic in all of this? Are you 15 perhaps? Also, how do you know your BF is not loging into POF to see if you are loging in to POF? Mind Blown! You're welcome! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I hid my profile while his was still public, and I only logged in every once in a while to see if he was still active on it. It takes me a while to fully trust someone. he seems genuine when were together I don't know Im so confused over him. I've tried talking to him but he clams up. He is really a shy quiet type of person Hmm. Sounds to me like you are projecting yourself on him. you've been logging into your POF only to see if his profile was active? If he said he deactivated it why didn't you believe him in the first place? It seems to me like deep down, you were certain he was still on POF so of course you found a profile that resembled him and are now convinced it is his. Maybe he clams up because he is sick of reassuring you over and over. HE told you he closed his profile. He did. He told you he didn't create a new profile. He didn't simple as that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostgirl23 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Im not 15 im in early twenties but never had a serious relationship. Reading these comments I don't think I will with him if I continue like this I think I will delete my pof account and see how things go. I feel like ive been pushing him away now. Link to post Share on other sites
PutARingOnIt Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 If he says he deleted it, he deleted it. Do you know how many people there are on POF that can "sound like him"? Do you know how silly you sound? LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 What do you mean that it "sounds like him"? What details lead you to believe it is him? Give the guy a chance. Don't assume he is lying because you really have no evidence to support that at this point. Please don't accuse him of something unless and until you have real proof; I've been on the receiving end of false accusations and - surprise! - I am no longer with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I have a POF account and plenty of others that I won't check for months, even to deactivate. Plus, you don't even know if this is his account. And why were you even on there in the first place? It seems like you are being a bit psycho here. Link to post Share on other sites
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