Sex Ed. for a 6 year old.

[Tucoball]

Last night, my youngest son, 6, asked his mother and I how old you have to be before you can get married. He wanted to know because he informed us that he is going to marry “Jane” (not her real name). Since the start of this school year we constantly hear about Jane. He openly admits that Jane is his girlfriend. How adorable eh? Wait…

 

We told him that he could get married without the permission of his parents when he is 18. He then proceeded to tell us that he and Jane are having “S” word. Hoping that he was referring to the “S” word that ends in “hit” I asked him what “S” word. He asked if he could say it out loud. Being that we were eating dinner out I told him to tell me in my ear. It was the “S” word that ends in “ex”. I asked him if he knew what that was and he replied that it was when you kiss. He said he sees my wife and I do it all the time.

 

I told him that this is not “S” word and that “S” word is something different. His reply was this, “I know. It’s also when you get naked and see her, (pointing to his breasts) and then you lick her ninnies.” So now his brother (8) is doubled over with laughter and near falling out of his seat. His mother nearly spit her food out and is about 30 seconds away from needing CPR and I am looking at all of this with my jaw in my lap.

 

After I regained control of the entire table we continued the conversation. The main focus in my continued conversations was as follows.

 

1. “S” word is a private thing that you do with someone you love and could include kissing and the licking of ninnies.

2. “S” word is not a bad thing but it is only done by grown ups and not done by kids.

3. He is not in trouble for kissing Jane unless it’s against the rules at school. And if it is, they should stop immediately.

4. “S” word is something that has to be done in order to make babies but is also done because people like to.

5. “S” word is something that they can always talk to mommy and daddy about anytime. However, he should wait until he is a grown-up to talk about it with his girlfriend or wife.

 

I expected this to come up but not so soon. I did find out that kissing is against the rules at school, which is why they do it behind the wall at recess so they don’t get “catched”. I wanted to make sure that his curiosity is not fueled by our conversation and tried to make is sound like it’s normal even though he calls it the “S” word like it’s a bad word. I don’t think I provided too much information and wonder if I should have a follow up conversation.

 

I wonder if any other parents have encountered this at such an early age. What was the result and how did you handle it. I want to make sure that our boys can feel totally free in coming to us with any questions about anything. I just don’t think I was ready for it this soon.

 

Beepo

[Merin]

IMHO you totally handled it well!

 

I have a little person (actually 2 of them) one a year older than your youngest son and the other is 4.

 

My oldest is always getting "gifts" from little boys at school.. I always ask her whats up with that? Ask her does this little boys mom know he is giving you this or that (sheesh, I can't get it out of my mind that he is swiping stuff from his moms jewelery box! ha!) and of course she insist that "Michael" is her boyfriend... tells me he "Loves" her MG!

 

We've had a discussion a lot like the one you've described... and like you I thought darn isn't she way to young for this yet?

 

You were as honest as you could be, you didn't make him feel bad or wierd about things... and I think you handled it great! Good Job Dad!

[honey2005]

I think you handled it very well, too. I don't remember when I learned about the "S" word, but I know it wasn't at 6 . That does seem really early, but I guess kids are going to start learning stuff like that at earlier and earlier ages. I heard that some elementary schools are going to start Sex Ed classes. I wasn't supposed to have that until 7th or 8th grade, but the teacher never taught it . I learned anyway though.