Kat Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 I have one, yes. Don't know how good they are as last time we went to court theyr weren't representing me. But people I know have used then and say they are brilliant. The court system is mighty stuffed, I can tell you that. BUt I will fight for my daughter and I won't be told that I am harrasing someone because they break the law and I report it Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 You said something very interesting......you will not be told that you are harrassing someone if they break the law and you report it...... Why would the "legal system" (I am assuming they are the party that has said this to you), accuse YOU of harassment? Not too be mean or disrespectful to you in any way.......but do you tend to get a bit outta control when dealing with the law? They are very methodical, playing their game is key in winning your situation. If they think you are a psycho bitch, they will dismiss your accusations and not believe anything you say anymore. I am friends with a lot of police officers, I have heard about this happening. It's the "crying wolf" syndrome. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 I had a restraining order saying no contact AT ALL. Not allowed to ring, email, turn up, go to my work, nothing. He rings my house accusing my partner of harming my child and saying he is just ringing up because he is concerned. So what do I do? I make a complaint. I had a restraining order saying no contact AT ALL. Not allowed to ring, email, turn up, go to my work, nothing. He sends an email to MY email address to my daughter and in it basically says that he will kill my partner. He uses my child to get to me and break the order, and I won't allow it. Apparently because he broke the order knowing FULL WELL he shouldn't I am harrassing him when I make a complaint and he gets questions (oh yeah did I mention charges as well) Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 You can have him arrested for breaking the order, that's what it's for. Call the police, show them proof. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 Originally posted by Patiently waiting You can have him arrested for breaking the order, that's what it's for. Call the police, show them proof. I have and he has. He has even been to jail for it. Doesn't stop him making me out to be the bad one though Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 update and it is GOOD! Visits have gone back to supervised. Looks like our determination paid off. There is suppose to be a visit this weekend, but it doesn't look like it is going ahead. Due to such short notice of visits going back to supervised the centre is booked out on the weekend, I offered her during the week so that he could see her (I am not required to do this and did it on my own steam so they could have time together). It is now Friday afternoon and he has not bothered to contact them and book a time, he hasn't even called them about the change of orders...I told them. I offered thurs, fri, mon, and tues. Obviously thurs and friday won't happen because the time has passed, and now it looks unlikely that money and tuesday would happen. The court orders basically state that if he misses a visit all contact stops..... I am not sure if I should be worried, concerned, or happy!>!>! Why would someone fight so hard and give up simply because they got caught out in a lie I was hopeing that he was doing all this because he wanted to have a relationship with is daughter.... not just to get what he wants Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 once they get what they want, they realize it is not really what they want. it was all motivated by hate and revenge. my ex did not show up at my childrens x-mas pageant tonight (they are only 3 and 4 and do not understand why not), they had made gifts for him in class. When the teacher handed my son his gift to give to his dad, my son said "no, i don't need it, my dad won't come".....How awful and selfish can a person be to deny their own child love and support? The only good thing that came out of our marriage was our beautiful babies, now he is trying to destroy them too. Only sees them when he has orders to. Has to get his money's worth I guess..... Bastard! Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 reading your posts here breaks my heart but also makes me feel "guilty" about feeling badly for myself for what my ex is putting my kids through since it's no where nearly as bad as what y'all are dealing with. my ex fought for shared custody since his kids are "his priority" and the "most important thing in his life." unfortunately those have turned out to be just words said for the benefit of others and i believe, so he could fight for paying less child support than the recommended amount in my state. he's getting married this spring and taking his fiance on an expensive vacation before that so his funds are "tight" as he says. of course i only know about the expenses he has coming up because friends have told me. he's now giving me grief about not being able to pay for some of the kids expenses and says he'd like my daughter to stop participating in her gymnastics because he can't afford it and is whining about her cost for braces. he's stopped showing up for the kid's stuff, unless he has to be there and even then claims he didn't know about it....which he did. he's lying to the kids and they know it (they're 11 & 13). at the beginning, when we first divorced several years ago i tried to talk to him about it, as have the kids, as have some of his friends. and all that's ended up happening is that there would end up being arguments and he'd yell at the kids and they'd get upset with me for discussing it with him. so i've stopped trying to reason with him or letting him know how much he's hurting the kids he says are so important to him. i hear things from them like "i can't rely on him" "there's no point in talking to him because he won't show up anyway." my daughter now collects some of her dirty clothes and brings them to my house for me to wash. the whole thing is so frustrating, but i know compared to what you are going through it's all minor. i know my ex and his soon-to-be wife are planning on having kids...he didn't really want them to begin with and only agreed because he knew i wanted them, so here he goes again. i know he loves them but i just wish i could make him see how much he's hurting them and destroying his relationship. i end up making excuses for his behavior because i don't want to further destroy his relationship with the. i guess i will never understand how people men and women can treat these little gifts the way they do and then put on that public face of being the perfect parent. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Originally posted by izzybelle i guess i will never understand how people men and women can treat these little gifts the way they do and then put on that public face of being the perfect parent. As long as we do what we can and give them the love and support they need, enough to cover the love of two parents, they will thank us for it and we will do our best to have it not effect them in a harmful way. You are a very strong woman and your kids love you for that *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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