AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? Ive always been against it because its not fair to me or the women plus id never be into it sexually im just wondering the general consensus
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Uh no. Definitely not if sexual attraction is absent.
ThaWholigan Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Don't date anyone you're not attracted to. Describe the kinds of women you would be attracted to.
fishtaco Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 You shouldn't do anything just to be with somebody. Women are important, but there are plenty of things in life that are more important. Like health and stable income for example. If I didn't have those two, I won't even think about women. Flirting with women whether you are interested in or not is good practice. Some people flirt for fun. But if you actually want to take it to the next step, as in casual dating, then it should be with someone you are at least mildly interested in, and that's good practice too. When it's show time, you can't just flirt with no follow-through. Practice both.
ses Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Why would you ever consider dating someone with whom you lack a sexual attraction? Sexual compatibility is essential in a relationship. Don't deceive yourself and settle because you lack confidence in attracting women. There is a woman out there for you. Recalibrate your approach and get out there!
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Don't date anyone you're not attracted to. Describe the kinds of women you would be attracted to. I dont have a type per se i just either have attraction to a women or i dont
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Why would you ever consider dating someone with whom you lack a sexual attraction? Sexual compatibility is essential in a relationship. Don't deceive yourself and settle because you lack confidence in attracting women. There is a woman out there for you. Recalibrate your approach and get out there! I agree i just see people hear say lower your standards or stay in your league if you have problems attracting the opposite sex
ThaWholigan Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I dont have a type per se i just either have attraction to a women or i dont I suggest you narrow down and figure out exactly what you want in a woman and how to meet that woman. Also, I've said this to you in other unrelated threads, but I think you seriously need to consider expanding your social circle. 3
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? Ive always been against it because its not fair to me or the women plus id never be into it sexually im just wondering the general consensus First off, I'll say that for me there is no black and white attractive and unattractive. There's varying levels of attractiveness, and most women to me have some form of attractiveness. That said, if you start going for women who are on the lower end of your attraction scale, you will find, at least in my experience, it will be no easier. Women are pretty picky all around. Of course, I don't purposely hit on women I'm less attracted to. It just happens as a natural consequence of me talking to any woman regardless of attractiveness. I have also been blown off and friendzoned by women who actively complain that no men hit on them. Give it a try though, if only to satisfy your curiosity. I think you'll be shocked by the results.
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Why would you date someone just to be with somebody? If you're not actually attracted to them it's pretty vile and a waste of everyone's time. Surely you're aware that that sort of desperation speaks to your own discomfort with yourself than anything. Is your need to have someone on your arm so great that you would sacrifice both your happiness and theirs? Im actually pretty against it i dont think i can be with someone i have no attraction to just for the sake of being with somebody i was just wondering opinions on here since alot of people think you should lower your standards if you cant attract the opposite sex
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I agree i just see people hear say lower your standards or stay in your league if you have problems attracting the opposite sex Im actually pretty against it i dont think i can be with someone i have no attraction to just for the sake of being with somebody i was just wondering opinions on here since alot of people think you should lower your standards if you cant attract the opposite sex If you think it's all about looks and leagues for most people (which I don't disagree with), then start at the middle of what you consider attractive and work your way down.
hoping2heal Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? Ive always been against it because its not fair to me or the women plus id never be into it sexually im just wondering the general consensus The obvious answer; no. Why can't you attract the type of women you are attracted to? 1
pcplod Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 People, both men and women do this all the time. They even get married and have kids. The results are usually pretty predictable; divorce decades down the line when the kids are older and an anonymous confession online somewhere because they can't discuss it with anyone in their real life. A purging of their soul. An essential expression of their utmost regret. 2
sillyanswer Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? No, I don't think anyone should try to date people they aren't attracted to. Instead, I would suggest a combination of improving your own attractiveness and finding ways to meet and interact with more women.
Xinreeki Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? Ive always been against it because its not fair to me or the women plus id never be into it sexually im just wondering the general consensus I would say no, unless you're the type of person whose level of attraction for someone can increase over time / as you get to know that person better? As this is true for me. I confess I wasn't very physically attracted to my bf when I first met him, but over time he has become incredibly attractive to me due to his kind, loving nature and his positive outlook on life. However, if you go down this route (hoping that your attraction for someone will increase as you get to know them better), it is important that you make the person you are dating aware of the situation, so that they are aware of the risk they are taking by dating you (i.e. they understand that if they continue to date you, that you may or may not become more attracted to them over time). However, only you know how malleable or fixed your perception of attraction is for another? Only you know whether you have the ability to sufficiently influence your perception of another's attractiveness (by focusing on their positive aspects) to make a relationship with that person mutually fulfilling or not? Everyone is going to be different, and I know for many how attractive they find someone is relatively static, and also very important to the success of the relationship. I agree that it would not be fair to you or any woman you date, if you were to pretend to find her attractive, knowing full well that you never will. As this will only foster resentment in you, that would inevitably eventually seep / spew out and hurt both of you a lot
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 No. You'll both resent each other for your settling.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 However, if you go down this route (hoping that your attraction for someone will increase as you get to know them better), it is important that you make the person you are dating aware of the situation, so that they are aware of the risk they are taking by dating you (i.e. they understand that if they continue to date you, that you may or may not become more attracted to them over time). That's ridiculous. What do you say, "I'm not attracted to you at all, but there's a chance I might be in due time." How would you feel if someone said that to you? Not all bright and cheery. It is totally possible to date someone you have lukewarm feelings for physically, just say you think they are attractive, and then if you just don't feel it, give other reasons for the breakup. Complete honesty can be very selfish. 1
Estate Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? Ive always been against it because its not fair to me or the women plus id never be into it sexually im just wondering the general consensus Oh yeah, that makes a good marriage... love to hear the wedding speech: "Mandy is great... well, not really, but she'll do I suppose, there's Sarah over there in the corner with her new BF, I really wish I was marrying her but ya know, I didn't wanna do any work to get what I want so cheers Mandy for settling for a life with me." 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Oh yeah, that makes a good marriage... love to hear the wedding speech: "Mandy is great... well, not really, but she'll do I suppose, there's Sarah over there in the corner with her new BF, I really wish I was marrying her but ya know, I didn't wanna do any work to get what I want so cheers Mandy for settling for a life with me." We're talking about looks and looks only. How much is that really worth working for?
Estate Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 We're talking about looks and looks only. How much is that really worth working for? What an absolute dirtbag thing to do. How selfish and arrogant would someone have to be. Seriously... oh one girl you can't get because you guys REFUSE to better yourself in any way that you might be attractive to girls you like. But then you are equally if not MORE judgemental and arrogrant to say someone else is "below" you. As if you're doing them a favor by "settling" for them? Oh wow, yeah that girl will be so happy you think so little of her. Seriously... to even THINK this way makes you a complete scumbag and lacking all class. Good luck, its guys like you who make the rest of us look ****ty.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 What an absolute dirtbag thing to do. How selfish and arrogant would someone have to be. Seriously... oh one girl you can't get because you guys REFUSE to better yourself in any way that you might be attractive to girls you like. But then you are equally if not MORE judgemental and arrogrant to say someone else is "below" you. As if you're doing them a favor by "settling" for them? Oh wow, yeah that girl will be so happy you think so little of her. Seriously... to even THINK this way makes you a complete scumbag and lacking all class. Good luck, its guys like you who make the rest of us look ****ty. I don't think anybody is below me. I just care less about looks. If a woman is less physically attractive to me, but she's cool, yes I'll date her absolutely. You're a d@uchbag. You're on ignore.
Joaquin Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Whatever about losing the feeling, to go with someone who from the start u feel no attraction for generally only works for woman. They seem to manage this kinda thing if they can bring themself to **** u in the first place. Guys cant keep this charade up for very long at all before they go crazy with utter boredom.
Estate Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I don't think anybody is below me. I just care less about looks. If a woman is less physically attractive to me, but she's cool, yes I'll date her absolutely. You're a d@uchbag. You're on ignore. Wow.... I'm on ignore for delivering a few home truths? This guy is going places.
GoodOnPaper Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I cant seem to attract women im attracted to should i go for women i am not physically attracted to at all just to be with soembody? No. But that should be easy. If there is NO physical attraction, it's a no-brainer. The problem is that LS seems to exist in this Twilight Zone where attraction is either completely on or completely off. I don't think the real world works like that. The hard decisions will come when out-of-the-blue, a woman seems to be really interested in you while you may be just sort-of attracted. THAT's when the pressure of being unsuccessful in dating starts to intrude in your decision about whether or not to start a relationship. I also think it's unreasonable to tell people to lower their expectations when it comes to attraction yet expect them to experience this intense initial infatuation before proceeding with an LTR or marriage. It's a no-win situation.
Recommended Posts