Xinreeki Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 That's ridiculous. What do you say, "I'm not attracted to you at all, but there's a chance I might be in due time." How would you feel if someone said that to you? Not all bright and cheery. It is totally possible to date someone you have lukewarm feelings for physically, just say you think they are attractive, and then if you just don't feel it, give other reasons for the breakup. Complete honesty can be very selfish. Well obviously you wouldn't put it that bluntly You'd just say something along the lines of - "I'm not sure how I feel about you yet. But would like to take things slowly and see how it goes" That is what I said to my bf for months, until I started to really feel attracted to him, and really feel love for him Now I tell him I love him all the time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 There's more than just physical attraction. What about intellectual attraction, having the same interests, having a companion, admiring someone for who they are. If you look at someone you love, their looks don't seem to mean that much. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Xinreeki Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) There's more than just physical attraction. What about intellectual attraction, having the same interests, having a companion, admiring someone for who they are. If you look at someone you love, their looks don't seem to mean that much. Of course it is going to be different for everyone. But yes, I can relate to that perspective, as I think companionship is very important in a relationship. I think if you feel attracted to someone in non-standard ways, in ways that are more important to you, or that can influence how romantically attractive you find that person, then I'd say go for it! Just don't end up with someone purely because you think you can't do any better. That's not fair on either person involved. If you give something a go... again for clarity... saying something standard like - "I'm not sure how I feel about you yet. But would like to take things slowly and see how it goes" ...and over time, you still don't feel sufficiently attracted to them to sincerely tell them they are awesome in your eyes, then let them go... as they deserve to find someone who loves them for who they are too! Edited June 19, 2013 by Xinreeki 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 You should not date someone you are not attracted to. You should interaction with a wide range of women who share your interests and lifestyle, regardless of appearance, and allow connection and attraction to develop where least expected. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 You should not date someone you are not attracted to. You should interaction with a wide range of women who share your interests and lifestyle, regardless of appearance, and allow connection and attraction to develop where least expected. Im not around single women rarely ever anymore which is a problem but i know myself and there has to be at least some physical attraction for me to feel anything at all. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 You just never know what attraction can surprise you IF you make the effort. Of course you won't have much luck if you are rarely around single women. Contact is essential! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 You just never know what attraction can surprise you IF you make the effort. Of course you won't have much luck if you are rarely around single women. Contact is essential! I know myself and the subconscious feeling i get for women im not attracted to its not something i can overcome if i cringe at the thought of even making out with them.. There has to be some attraction from the get go..doesnt mean she has to be perfect far from it but if i get a cringe reaction from her looks i cant do it. I need some baseline of physical attraction Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Ok, but you are talking about an extreme. Do you mean OLD? Get out there and meet real women, and you may be surprised who is attracted to YOU. You may also be attracted to a woman IRL, when you might not have been at all attracted to her photo OLD Link to post Share on other sites
Author AD1980 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Ok, but you are talking about an extreme. Do you mean OLD? Get out there and meet real women, and you may be surprised who is attracted to YOU. You may also be attracted to a woman IRL, when you might not have been at all attracted to her photo OLD I havent tried old yet im talking in general Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 id rather be alone then be with somebody im not attracted to but when a man struggles with women hes told to lower his standards and say yes to women who are interested im him but at the same time hes told its not fair to be with a women you're not attracted to because its all you can get.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) Don't be impatient. Wait for the woman who rings all your bells. Perhaps beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one should get to know a woman. But this reminds me of stars like Tom Selleck and Steve Martin, and their selections. Perhaps these guys just didn't want to be challenged? Edited June 19, 2013 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
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