anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I really don't know what other advice to offer you Betsy. If you won't block him then I really do not see how you can get past this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 She is my friend. I didnt mean for this to happen. I stopped it the first time... I know rubbish excuse. But I do really like her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Anne I told him last week Not to tweet me at 1am, I didn't reply - he hadn't been talking to me much lately I seriously think he's thought about this and he's made the same decision he's not gonna contact me again. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 betsy, IT IS RUBBISH. It is something that a friend would NEVER do to another friend. Ever. No amount of rug sweeping will ever undo what you have don to her or your H. It troubles me you think it's "okay" to be in the same room w/her let alone pretend to be her friend. You May like her But you are Not her friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I'm blaming him. He started it. He bloody wanted to play this crazy game. He jumped in bed with me once when we slept over and I had to tell him to get out then he came back I had to tell him to get out again. This was ages ago mind before this all happened Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I'm blaming him. He started it. He bloody wanted to play this crazy game. He jumped in bed with me once when we slept over and I had to tell him to get out then he came back I had to tell him to get out again. This was ages ago mind before this all happened See, this is where you're going wrong. Finger pointing will get you nowhere. He started it? Really? That's your argument? A weak one, at best. Be honest, here; he may have initiated it, but you chose to go through with it. You share in the blame/responsibility as much as he does. If you really were a friend to his W, you wouldn't have allowed this to happen. You like her, yes; but you are not a friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Yeah that is weak. Why am I bothered by what we have done to peoe snd he is not? Why am I bothered and he is not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 People that should say. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Again what he thinks or feels is irrelevant. If you continue to focus on him and not your husband then there will not be a recovery from this. You are still emotionally in the affair. You have got to find a way to stop focussing on the MOM. What are you doing to work on your marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I know I'm still emotionally in it it was only a week or so ago I decided to end it, early days. I'm looking for a way out of thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 You have been told what to do as a "way out". Sadly you are ignoring that advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I know but it still doesn't stop me thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Maybe if you followed the advice you have been given, it will help you to stop thinking about it so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Maybe. This is awful mind, I really fell in deep here, wat a muppet. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Betsy Compared to the situation I was in, your's is a walk in the park and here I am still alive, still functioning, still with a life and happy too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Why do you think you did it then Anne? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 This thread is not about me Betsy. If you want to know my story, go back and read my posts. In fact, do go back and read my posts - see what a mess I was in because I did not stop things when I should have. Learn from my mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 So would you advise me that I'm doing the right thing running for the bloody hills before anything happens? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 By asking that question, it sounds as if you are still interested in the MOM and continuing the affair. Is that the case? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Oh no. Yes I still like him. No I'm not continuing it its over. I'm not going through this again. I don't want to be involved with anybody else. Just asking a question wud you if you went back have run away before it started or would you do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 There is absolutely no way that I would do it again. What are you doing to work on your marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I suppose just making more of an effort talking more, we hoping to get a night away next month we don't do much of this as we have a little one. Do you have kids Anne x Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 No, we don't have kids. That didn't happen for us. Talking more - what do you mean by that? Are you just talking more about eg films, family etc or are you actually talking about what you and he both want and need from your marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helen A Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I'm just trying to make more of an effort instead of focusing on my crazy crush. No we not talking about that as far as he's aware there's nothing wrong is there and I don't want to make out there is as there isn't really. He's a lovely guy I'm happy with him I just liked attention and realy liked somebody else this happens to people. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Betsy You have been advised to tell your husband about the affair, go NC with the MOM, block the MOM and to really talk to your husband. You are doing none of these things. Not one thing. Why are you being so determined to ignore all this advice from people who have been in similar situations? What makes you think you can get through this by pretending nothing happened? You are not addressing any of the problems that resulted in you having an affair. There is no progress here whatsoever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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