Dear Dickwad......Part II

[bellasue]

Someone mentioned the "Dear Dickwad" thread from a few months back. Well, I think maybe we should revisit that. See how we've changed, and give the new people out there a chance to write. I will start.

 

Dear Dickwad,

 

It's been a few months of hell now. Although I am "better" I am not sure I will ever get over the hurt you caused on the day you cut all contact. I still miss you as my best friend. I think about you less than I did, but still much more than I really should.

 

I know now that I wasn't wrong in asking to be your first priority. I also understand that you and your wife have history, property, grown children, etc. I think you gave up your one chance at true happiness. You always said you have put everyone else first your whole life. Why not take a chance and be happy now?

 

I am not sure I will ever hear from you or see you again. Sadly, I still want you to be as happy as you can be. I think that's what friends give each other.

 

I hope you and your wife can find peace. I know she will never forgive me for the role I played in this situation, but I hope maybe she will forgive you and both of you can move on.

[troubadour]

Bellasue, are you still working on improving things with your husband?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Someone mentioned the "Dear Dickwad" thread from a few months back. Well, I think maybe we should revisit that. See how we've changed, and give the new people out there a chance to write. I will start.

 

Dear Dickwad,

 

It's been a few months of hell now. Although I am "better" I am not sure I will ever get over the hurt you caused on the day you cut all contact. I still miss you as my best friend. I think about you less than I did, but still much more than I really should.

 

I know now that I wasn't wrong in asking to be your first priority. I also understand that you and your wife have history, property, grown children, etc. I think you gave up your one chance at true happiness. You always said you have put everyone else first your whole life. Why not take a chance and be happy now?

 

I am not sure I will ever hear from you or see you again. Sadly, I still want you to be as happy as you can be. I think that's what friends give each other.

 

I hope you and your wife can find peace. I know she will never forgive me for the role I played in this situation, but I hope maybe she will forgive you and both of you can move on.

 

You honestly believe he puts everyone first? You understand he is married with children and that an outsider can't be first priority. Your unhappiness manifested because the illusion couldn't be backed up with action. I completely agree with the dic€wad comparison. He will never be truly happy unless everyone else is sacrificing for HIS happiness! People like him bring misery to the ones they PROCLAIM to love! HIS choices, everyone else's Hell! "His ONE chance at happiness? Yeah, right! He's making the calls! Forge your own path and make your own happiness!

[bellasue]

Yes, actually my husband and I have been doing very well. No, I haven't told him of the A. But he did bring up a few days ago some of the roots of our problems, mainly communication, etc. So I've been trying on my end to be a better spouse. We actually have been doing a lot of stuff together which used to be filled by the xMM. So I think that is a very positive step.

 

I will always think of xMM as a dickwad. A dickwad who hurt me AND his wife very badly. However that doesn't negate the years of friendship before the A and the very many fun and positive memories associated with it. I am glad I have gotten to a place of relative forgiveness and I harbor no ill will to his wife especially. I sincerely hope she can heal, and if she wants to keep him.....well that he works hard to keep her.

 

Have a good day all.