married w. problems & strong feelings for someone else :(

[Kitty16722]

[font=arial][/font][color=red][/color]I am going to start out byu describing my marriage. I am married for a little over a year. We alot of problems weighing on our relationship, financial issues, we're very young ect. We have a two year old right now, and our relationship has just been changing drastically i feel for the worst.

 

I dont even feel like having sex anymore, i dont care if we really cuddle or have any physically contact, i just dont feel that in love feeling anymore, however i do care about him deeply and enjoy his company like a companion or friend.

 

Two major issues i have with him are : a) trust issues, he has little to know trust for me, although i have never cheated or lied, i get a hard time when i go anywhere when he isnt with me and especially hard time when i go places with girlfriends.

b) he has brought to my attention that he wants to sleep with another woman, this is not anything new i've know it that he wanted it for along time, however i am not interested in bringing another woman in. he says he would treat me nicer and wouldnt be so miserable if he had a threesome with me.

 

I think every month of our relationship i have thought of some point of leaving, we had a talk recently and he seemed genuine that he wants to work things out and change things for the better. although i've heard this many times.

 

Now, here's the second part. I have met a guy i work with i am beginning to have feelings for. i am not a cheater and i wont cheat, but we do talk we are friends, like we go out of our way to see eachother at work and whatnot. I feel like i want to dosomething i know i shouldnt, but he makes me feel very special and beautiful and excited and those good things that a woman wants to feel.

 

i dont want to rush into anything, i dont want to end things with my husband because i do care for him and maybe he will change, but the pull to this other guy and situation is eating me away. i find myself thinking that maybe there is something better for me out there, maybe someone who could make me more happy, maybe not even this guy maybe someone else, but im too young to be stuck unhappy for the rest of my life.

 

a big part of it is the sex thing, i mean im not a slut but when it comes to a relationship , sex is important to me and i just dont feel it for my husband anymore. i am so torn inside what do i do???

[girlnextdoor]

b) he has brought to my attention that he wants to sleep with another woman, this is not anything new i've know it that he wanted it for along time, however i am not interested in bringing another woman in. he says he would treat me nicer and wouldnt be so miserable if he had a threesome with me.

 

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Are u serious! What a dirt bag. Look I know it is just about everyguys fantasy to be with two girls, but to bribe you with it, saying he'll be nicer to you.

 

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maybe he will change

 

Yea and he's thinking maybe you will change too, and have a threesome with him.

 

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Look just because you want to have sex in your marriage in NO way makes you a slut.

 

 

Sex is a healthy part of any marriage, should be enjoyes and should make you feel good about yourself, not being degraded by having your man say he want another chick in bed with you two.

[tiki]

How would he feel if you wanted another guy in the bedroom for a threesome?! Maybe that'd make YOU be a nicer person.

 

This guy needs to have his a$$ kicked.

 

And lose the potential affair, you're playing with fire. You can't give your husband your all if your head is stuck in the clouds with this other man. Even though I see that your husband is a prick, it's no excuse. Work it out or leave. THEN go for the other guy.

[outoftheblue]

I'm not sure if I'm one to leave advice, since I'm not really good at following the advice given to me, but...

 

If I were you I would look at the whole situation. I recently split up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, took time apart and we decided what we really wanted. Luckily, after the time apart we wanted the same thing. This process also involved a lot of talking. Which is something neither of us ever did well. It made me learn a lot about us, our strengths and our weaknesses. I think before hand I could of been stuck in a rut. I think I just needed time to think and to find out what he is worth to me.

 

Just try not to do anything irrational, think before your actions.

thanks, that's my 2 cents

[crazycatwoman]

tell your husband no threesome, he treats you better or can **** off, threesomes are for unattached people, if he wanted that sort of thing he needed to get it before he had a wife and baby .......

 

as for you ....... lose the other man .........he only seems like a good idea because your having problems, if you cheat it will ruin everything you have with your husband

 

and both of you need to think about what your child will think of you in a few years when he or she hears why mom and dad broke up ..............