amkxoxo Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 So I won't go into details, because its way too much, but feel free to read my other threads for some insight into my life. I have now not heard from my long distance beau for 6 days now, and I am feeling depressed. I feel like the longer we are apart, the more I care about myself rather than him...is that sad? At this point I have pretty much given up and realized that I deserve better and he needs to earn it, which he hasn't shown me any signs of wanting to win me over, which is depressing. So I want to focus on myself and if he comes around then whatever. I feel like I loose myself when I chase a guy and my identity is lost. I start being obsessive and instead of being me, my thoughts and actions revolve around him. I am trying to be more independent and regain my personality again. My friends and family have noticed my distant and sad personality. I want to be my fun self that my guy fell for, not for him, but for me. I was so happy, wasn't self conscious, and super invested in my friends and family lives. I have what you call "re-invented" myself before in the past. Either by losing weight, which gave me a more confident personality, or little things etc... I have lost a lot of weight since march, but have been stress eating due to my long distance problems recently. I can't seem to shake this. How do I not care and be happy again?? Link to post Share on other sites
leongrado Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I want to be my fun self that my guy fell for, not for him, but for me. I was so happy, wasn't self conscious, and super invested in my friends and family lives. I'm sorry to hear that you're not longer as happy as you used to be. What's keeping you from being with your friends and family? What's keeping you from breaking up with this guy who seems to no longer be interested in you? I think you just need more "doing" and less worrying in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amkxoxo Posted June 22, 2013 Author Share Posted June 22, 2013 I spend all my time with my friends and family, because he isn't here and I can't ignore them, I love them. I have fun with my family and friends don't get me wrong, and it gets my mind off of it, but he is constantly there. Lingering. In my thoughts and heart. He actually called me last night and a lot of stuff has gotten cleared up. I didn't hold anything back and told him how I felt about everything. I feel like this is a big part of why I felt I wasn't being myself. I was keeping so much in and holding onto it, letting it eat away at me. He has a lot of issues at this time and he told me he didn't get into a relationship with me because I deserved better. He is going through a rough time at home and he said that I deserve 100% of him, and that he cannot give that to me and wouldn't want to put me through a failed relationship. He told me that if his life and health were different he would be a great boyfriend, and would want to make me his, he said he would fight for me and I would know it. He is very hopeful that we can try in the future, but for now we just can't. He gave me a lot more understanding and closure that I think I needed. I'm just trying to be there for him and if I have to wait, he's worth it. This has been a big step into my being myself again. I was so much happier today knowing that he liked me, likes me, and may even have hope for the future. I need to speak my mind with him instead of holding in my feelings. I need to be myself. Now I'm not saying that I am totally better, but I have the will and energy to try now. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Link to post Share on other sites
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