teacher Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 OKAY, i am in great need for advice, so please someone respond! Here's the story... My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago. Out of the blue, he ended it with me basically over an e-mail (he is 30, me 27) We spoke a few times about breaking up (over the phone only) and he was very cold and mean to me. And he had no reason to be- we truly were the best of friends, or so I thought-- I def. brought out the better side in him- everyone thought that we were going to get married, including me. So anyway, when we first started going out there was an issue with these two girls from my hometown (my ex and I grew up in the same town). This girl who I used to be somewhat friendly with (by no means a close friend) used to casually date my ex for about 2 months over FIVE years ago-- BUT, regardless of how long it had been, she was angry when I started dating him. She's they type of girl who thinks she owns every guy she has ever kissed! SO, she and her sister would talk about me to my friends, would make me feel uncomfortable if I saw them out at a bar, etc. Basically, just very rude and obvioulsy completely immature (one is 27, the other 30) and they didn't make life easy for me! Now, here is the scoop--Suppossedly my EX is now friends with one of them and they hang around in the same crowd pretty often. Meanwhile, the whole time we were together he talked about how much he couldn't stand these girls and how much he disliked them... And now they are buddies!!! I just feel like he completely stabbed me in the back and he is apparently a big hypocrite-- I am so angry and keep having these thoughts that I may sometimes be brought up in their conversations and it drives me crazy!!! Here's my question-- Can I e-mail him to vent and let out my anger-- I am so pissed off- I think I just need to let him know what a fool I think he is... PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS SO MUCH! Link to post Share on other sites
neptoon Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Your ex, this girl, and her sister all sound like drama queens. Having you be mad at them is EXACTLY what they want. They want to stir up a response in you -- it'll give them something to talk about and then they'll go to other people and distort all the facts and say things that you said out of context to make you sound psycho. The best revenge on them is moving on and living well. If you've already established N/C with him, then just continue on and whenever anyone tells you anything about them, just say, "Oh, those losers ... I'm sorry if <insert the girl's name here> is sore that I went out with <insert your ex's name> ... they all need to get a life. " No need to get crude and nasty. Living well is your best revenge on them. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hi,teacher How old are these people? 27, 30? And I was so glad highschool ended. Ignore them, goout with your own friends and be happy. that the revenge that pays out most on life ! Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 He's no longer your partner, how can he be stabbing you in the back when you've not been together for 6 months?. With all due respect, who he's supposedly friends with now is none of your business. And how his choice of friends makes you feel, is definitely none of his business. They're your feelings of disappointment and anger, own them. Anytime you react to someone with anger or frustration you are being controlled by that person, you are giving them power over you... why on earth would you give someone who's no longer in your life the satisfaction of knowing his actions can still pull your strings in such a powerful way?!. Let it go. Hundreds of people can be bringing you up in their conversations... you have no control over that, and never will have. Obviously you're imagining they're bitching about you... they may be, they may not be, you'll never know!. But you can decide that you're ok, you don't give a hoot what others think, and you definitely wont let them dictate how you feel. Now that's power!. Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by teacher Here's my question-- Can I e-mail him to vent and let out my anger-- I am so pissed off- I think I just need to let him know what a fool I think he is... PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS SO MUCH! NO NO NO. Do not email him and vent anything. Do the NO CONTACT thing and stay away from him. Do not take his phone calls and do not call him... Let him come your way if he so dares! This guy is a jerk... P. S. You asked and I told you!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lordcrazyd Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 i'm sure there is more to the story than yoiu think i'm sure he likes one of those girls trust me Link to post Share on other sites
Author teacher Posted October 14, 2004 Author Share Posted October 14, 2004 You all make a ton of sense- and you are right, he is no longer a part of my life, and I do let him have too much power over me-- that is an issue i have been dealing with for a while now, and have been going to therapy to help me through it-- Trust me, I am a very sane, responsible, good person and the last thing I want to do is let another human being have this much control over my life-- And you're right, contacting him will only give them satisfaction and will probably only make me feel worse-- Can you believe that these people are in their late 20's, early 30's?? Some just never grow up, I guess. Thanks so much for the great advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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