askrynn Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) I feel so frustrated right now. I fell hard for him last year while he was taken and now things were going really good between us but he isn't ready for a relationship yet, so we decided to slow things down and just keep getting to know eachother for the time being. After we talked I took it as if he didn't want me enough not to let me get away and I was disappointed. I know he didn't mean that exactly, but it hit me that way and I was down/mad for days. After that, I calmed down and went back to normal. But suddenly I began feeling weird... I'd say I still like him (he's the same person, after all) but I don't feel "in love" (aka infatuated) as before. This is making me very scared and sad because I've waited for so long and now that we were slowly advancing, I stop wanting him all of a sudden? If a week ago he'd asked me out I would have said yes, yes, yes without hesitation, it was the thing I wanted the most. If he were to ask me out now, I would be like "well I'll give him a chance but if I don't feel the spark again it'd be lying to myself" and I'm terrified of that. That sucks in comparison, it's not what I have been dreaming of all of this time. What happened? Could it be I'm just confused? I guess time will resolve this, but I would like to ask: if it's true that my feelings were put to a stop, is it possible that they will come back? Specially since nothing BAD actually happened between us... Should I take time to myself and get it out of my mind over the summer (and see what happens in the fall) or should I stay in touch and try to know him as a friend? Which one could lead me to falling for him once again? Edited June 21, 2013 by askrynn Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 One of the things that leads to desire is BEING DESIRED and wanted. You now do not feel desired and wanted BY him so that has lessened your desire FOR him. Its kind of natural and instictual actually. Mother Nature doesnt want you to fall for and reproduce with a guy that doesnt want you and wont be there for you and your offspring. She wants you to be with someone that really wants to be with you and will be there for you. If he isnt feeling the love for you an you are not feeling the love for him then this is a no-go. You'll have many of these and other near-misses before the right one sticks. No harm, no foul here. Just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author askrynn Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 One of the things that leads to desire is BEING DESIRED and wanted. You now do not feel desired and wanted BY him so that has lessened your desire FOR him. Its kind of natural and instictual actually. Mother Nature doesnt want you to fall for and reproduce with a guy that doesnt want you and wont be there for you and your offspring. She wants you to be with someone that really wants to be with you and will be there for you. If he isnt feeling the love for you an you are not feeling the love for him then this is a no-go. You'll have many of these and other near-misses before the right one sticks. No harm, no foul here. Just move on. That's really wise, thanks for your reply. I've been told that maybe it's his turn to conquer me, to make me feel wanted. I think I got mad also because all the time it's been me chasing him, I think it's time to receive some feedback. Since I know he needs time to get over the ex first, I was willing to give him a little space and time because he seems to really care for me, judging by the things he's told me. I guess time will make things fall into place, for the good or the bad. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Remember too that you fell hard for him while he was taken. There's something about wanting something we can't have. Give him time, you don't want to be a rebound. Link to post Share on other sites
Author askrynn Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 Remember too that you fell hard for him while he was taken. There's something about wanting something we can't have. Give him time, you don't want to be a rebound. I already considered the rebound issue and I suffered a lot about that, but after a while I realized that it's highly possible that it's not his case. My main worry now is the fact that my feelings that were once so clear are now so tangled for no (apparent) reason. Link to post Share on other sites
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