boyfriends so called "friend"

[Nicole]

I am an 18 year old female.I have been dating a guy for 2 and a half years now, and I do not know what to do. This past week, a friend ( a girl) of his from his college came to stay with his family for a couple days. He did not call me the entire time she was here. I do not know if I have a right to be angry. He says that she knows he has a girlfriend, and they are just friends, I say then why didn't he call or stop by or anything? He says he likes me a lot, and shows it, by writing letters, being very sweet to me, but I am truly hurt by this act of his. I do not know whether to be rude, or just tell him how my feelings are hurt, and do you think that it is possilbe that he and this girl could be good friends, nothing more. He told me she was visiting, so it's not like he lied, and I ahve talked to her before, but they live next door to eachother in college. I am confused. I really do like him though. Any advice?

[Dimps]

Relationships are based on trust and communication. If you know he loves you, then you have to trust him, however, I think it is also important that you tell him that what he did bothers you. I know when I first went to college (not too long ago), all my friends turned out to be guys, not because I wanted to be with them romantically, but just because we got along so well. It may be the same with your boyfriend's friend. You need to talk to him before jumping to any conclusions.

 

It is also important that you are not rude to him before he explains his side of the story. I know you are confused and probably very hurt, but communication is essential in every relationship. Good luck!

[Tony T]

I think you are totally justified in being hurt. Yes, exactly why didn't he invite you to his home to be a part of the visit of his lady friend? Sounds to me like there's more going on between these two than plain old friendship.

 

You need to get to the bottom of this. It stinks to me. Yes, tell him you are hurt by what he did...or didn't do...and let him know just how disrespectful it is for him to bring a female of any type to his home to stay for a few days without having you over for a visit as well. And what a great way to keep you from suspecting anything...by telling you she was coming for a visit. You got a smart guy here!!!

 

So they live next door to each other at college...how convenient. If he gets to see her so often at college, what would be the purpose of him bringing her to him home to meet his parents for a few days? If you are his official girlfriend, why did he just write you totally out of his life while this girl was in town? Now, understand, I never went to the police academy or detective school...but this whole thing just doesn't add up.

 

I would give you some advice here but you wouldn't like it...but it rhymes with "wake up." So I'll leave it up to you to figure out what you should do here.

[Nic]

something in this situation doesn't sit right with me. he says she knows about you, so why didn't he call you? he apparently has nothing to hide right? i'd be a bit angry if i was in your situation. i bet if he had a male friend over for a couple of days, he would have called you.

 

but before you go ruffling any feathers, it is possible that they are just good friends. but you are his girlfriend and you shouldn't be ignored because there is another girl hanging around.

 

only you know how often he usually calls you. if him not calling you for a couple of days is very out of character for your relationship, then i'd come straight out and ask for the truth and ask why he couldn't call you all because a girl was there. ah, bugger it. ask him anyway. like i said, it doesn't sit right with me.

I am an 18 year old female.I have been dating a guy for 2 and a half years now, and I do not know what to do. This past week, a friend ( a girl) of his from his college came to stay with his family for a couple days. He did not call me the entire time she was here. I do not know if I have a right to be angry. He says that she knows he has a girlfriend, and they are just friends, I say then why didn't he call or stop by or anything? He says he likes me a lot, and shows it, by writing letters, being very sweet to me, but I am truly hurt by this act of his. I do not know whether to be rude, or just tell him how my feelings are hurt, and do you think that it is possilbe that he and this girl could be good friends, nothing more. He told me she was visiting, so it's not like he lied, and I ahve talked to her before, but they live next door to eachother in college. I am confused. I really do like him though. Any advice?

[Deejette]

It bothers me too that he ignored you for the time she was staying at his place. I don't think I would like it too much and I would tell him so (in a nice way, so it won't backfire on you). But frankly, I would not put up with this sort of thing. Why was is so important for her to stay in the same house with him?

something in this situation doesn't sit right with me. he says she knows about you, so why didn't he call you? he apparently has nothing to hide right? i'd be a bit angry if i was in your situation. i bet if he had a male friend over for a couple of days, he would have called you. but before you go ruffling any feathers, it is possible that they are just good friends. but you are his girlfriend and you shouldn't be ignored because there is another girl hanging around. only you know how often he usually calls you. if him not calling you for a couple of days is very out of character for your relationship, then i'd come straight out and ask for the truth and ask why he couldn't call you all because a girl was there. ah, bugger it. ask him anyway. like i said, it doesn't sit right with me.