Going out of my mind

[bean1489]

Okay, so I've never been paranoid before. I've always considered myself open minded about relationships and trusted my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 years and I know he has quite a busy past. He's been open about his previous conquests and I've never minded.

I broke up with him 2 years ago and he got very busy with loads of different girls. Upon reconciliation I asked him to be truthful about what he got up to; just so there were no secrets and everything was out on the table He told me there were only 2 girls. A couple of months later I found out he had lied and there were around 20 girls. In a 2 month period!

I managed to get over that, I love him, we are great together.

 

So that's the short version of our history. Here is my problem:

 

My boyfriend texts explicit messages to other girls. I knew of 1 girl. I trust him to not act upon anything as that is something I've never been into. I can't talk that way, I don't send pictures or things like that. I'm not a prude, it's just something that I've never been into. So that is missing from the relationship and that is why I could accept him talking that way to some randomer.

 

But after finding the texts to that randomer, I couldn't help myself, and I looked on his phone. I have found out he is texting around 3 or 4 different girls. Some he sees on a daily basis, others he sees on nights out. I wouldn't be so paranoid if I weren't stuck at home all the time looking after our baby.

 

Do I have the right to be paranoid? I'm I just being walked over? I'm not myself; I'm too afraid to talk to him about it because I know he will lie. He is big on self- preservation. He will lie to keep things sweet between us. He's told me that!! HELP!!!

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, you have every right to be paranoid. And yes, you're being walked all over. You accept the fact that he's sexting other girls...does he know you accept it? If so, you don't have much basis for complaints.

 

If there are 3 or 4 other women he's texting, whom he sees on a regular basis, I would be VERY suspicious that he's doing a lot more than texting them. If you're ok turning a blind eye or if this behaviour is appropriate in your relationship then carry on. I, for one, would absolutely call him out on it.