sammy333 Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 I wanted to check my emails and when i got on the computer my husband forgot to log out and i have seen some very interesting emails from other woman. turns out he placed an ad on craigslist looking for woman to have sex with. they also exchanged some pictures and the last email i found was him writing to a woman asking if they were going to meet or not. i searched craigslist for the date he posted it but it was deleted the next day.when i asked him about it he first said somebody at work must have signed up for this email account because he didnt. it matched all his info like weight, hight, hair color, age and so on and after a few min he said yes it is his but he was only doing that to see who would respond and he would have never met anyone because he loves me !!! he also said he was bored and he cant tell me why he did place the ad on craigslist. he also had 4 pictures of woman saved on the computer that he deleted after i asked him about it.what would u guys think if that would happen to you? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 what would u guys think if that would happen to you? I would install a keylogger onto his computer, go into investigative mode, demand passwords, and insist on a polygraph test. He is lying to you and you should also IMMEDIATELY get tested for STDs as he might have infected to you. Oh yeah -- and that part about him telling you he loves you and would never do that? -- google "Gaslighting" because that is what he is doing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RangerJeremiah Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 He is playing you like a fiddle, honey. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 I guess he expects you to believe his lies. What do YOU plan to do moving forward? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Share Posted June 22, 2013 i did get tested already and when i told him about the results he said i knew it already because i didnt do anything ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Share Posted June 22, 2013 i have been looking around in everything. his emails. phone, car, clothes but ever since i didnt find anything ! either he is really good at leaving no traces or he is really not doing anything i dont know... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Demand a polygraph and counseling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 A man who "loves you" doesn't post ads and accept pictures on Craigslist. He's got an odd idea of what love is... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Trust nothing out of his mouth. Install keylogger and VAR in his car. (Voice activated recording device) He's caught now. He's ONLY and I mean ONLY going to admit to what you've already discovered, and nothing more. I'm sure there are things you do not know. He's going to take anything he's done further underground, either by hiding, or outright deleting things. You're going to get trickle truth now... slowly but surely, if you investigate, more will be uncovered. Check phone records, suspicious numbers, etc. Lets give him the benefit of the doubt and say that nothing physical has happened yet, if he would have stayed on this path without you finding out, he WOULD have. Counseling is a great idea because he KNOWS why he did this. Unsatisfied, bored, unhappy... he needs to fess up to what the reason is. Only thing that's going to help here is him becoming completely transparent. He has no rights right now. He has to give up all passwords, show you the phone, emails, etc. Any questions you have in order to be satisfied need to be answered. Don't allow him to gaslight, or sweep things under the rug, or avoid things at this time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 It's pretty obvious he's cheating or if not, trying to. Sending pics and having those types of convo's is cheating IMO regardless. So no point in snooping you're just going to find hurtful things. He's a cheater. So there it is, now you have to figure out what you're going to do about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 yes i think so too. maybe the chicks he was contacting just didnt meet him yet. but the question is why would he cheat though? we have a very active sex life Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 There's a million reasons why a person cheats. Ask him! I'd bet one thing for sure...it strokes his ego! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 i did already but he keeps telling me he didnt do a thing and never will. he was just bored !!! so i give up asking him questions where i get lied to again and i am planing a horrible revenge Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 i am planing a horrible revenge because two wrongs make a right? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 i did already but he keeps telling me he didnt do a thing and never will. he was just bored !!! so i give up asking him questions where i get lied to again and i am planing a horrible revenge Really? And how would you expect that revenge will make things better? IF you plan to DO something that isn't conducive to a healthy marriage - then get divorced first! You don't like what he's been doing? Then end it! But fueling the fire by MORE bad behavior within the M certainly won't make the M better - just worse - for then TWO people exhibiting bad behavior and expecting it to be a positive union? There's no way that's possible! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 People with nothing to hide hide nothing. So if he was truly just creating an ad to see if he would get responses, - he wouldn't need to create a secret email account - he wouldn't need to hide it from you - he wouldn't lie and say it was someone else who did it So if he hasn't already cheated, he was certainly attempting to. But revenge doesn't solve anything. Why sell out your own integrity for someone else who has none? Makes no sense. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 in this case yes..but not with me cheating on him..i got plans that are much worse ! Link to post Share on other sites
JessieJ08 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I for one would not care if he did anything or not. Have you seen the guys ads on Craiglist Um Yeah GROSS I would be so Done with him that is for sure a divorce but thats just me. Why so you need evidence to see if he actually cheated? If he did their are ways to cover it up like you said you went on it the next day it was deleted Guess what its all been taken care of their is no evidence he deleted and got rid of it all. Which tells me he doesn't love you at all your not even worth knowing the full truth of the situation... He loves you and? if thats how you treat your wife you dont love her. And just because their isnt an STD or stuff in his car doesnt mean nothing happened. Im so sorry I dont know how you could ever trust your husband again or see him as a loving husband again after something like this just my opinion. Hope it gets straightened out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 you are right . it doesnt matter if he did something or not..just the fact placing an add to see who would reply is already enough ! and even saving the pictures on our computer that we both use is stupid . he even lied about it saying he doesnt know who these chicks are..i mean how stupid can u be? i am so glad he is deployed now because by the time he gets back he wont have a dime and we wont be here and he will have to pay off 2 brand new cars and a house bc he was so smart to give me a general POA life is great !!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Before doing anything you'll regret, get a divorce lawyer. In many jurisdictions, spouses share responsibility for debt, no matter who racked up the debt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 you are right . it doesnt matter if he did something or not..just the fact placing an add to see who would reply is already enough ! and even saving the pictures on our computer that we both use is stupid . he even lied about it saying he doesnt know who these chicks are..i mean how stupid can u be? i am so glad he is deployed now because by the time he gets back he wont have a dime and we wont be here and he will have to pay off 2 brand new cars and a house bc he was so smart to give me a general POA life is great !!!! That's just unbelievable that you would be that mean. Take your own car - and expect to pay for it yourself. Do you have kids? You said "we". If you want to divorce, fine. But being purposely mean about it is just despicable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 what he did is also unbelievable Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 I wanted to check my emails and when i got on the computer my husband forgot to log out and i have seen some very interesting emails from other woman. turns out he placed an ad on craigslist looking for woman to have sex with. they also exchanged some pictures and the last email i found was him writing to a woman asking if they were going to meet or not. i searched craigslist for the date he posted it but it was deleted the next day.when i asked him about it he first said somebody at work must have signed up for this email account because he didnt. it matched all his info like weight, hight, hair color, age and so on and after a few min he said yes it is his but he was only doing that to see who would respond and he would have never met anyone because he loves me !!! he also said he was bored and he cant tell me why he did place the ad on craigslist. he also had 4 pictures of woman saved on the computer that he deleted after i asked him about it.what would u guys think if that would happen to you? I'd think he's full of sh*t. Something about his story rings false, and I'm sure you feel the same way. I suggest an ultimatum; he either tells you the full truth, or you walk. If he tells you the full truth, it's up to you to decide where to go from there. Do you wish to reconcile? Is it even worth reconciling? Or do you wish to separate? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JessieJ08 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 what he did is also unbelievable Yes it is but don't kill the Karma if you too much bad a judge will look negative at you and he will get away with being A cheating Dog. I know its hard specially with Military men because you put more into a marriage then a woman marrying a man who isn't military. BUT . you always have to be smart not let the emotions flood in to where your making yourself as low as him I wouldn't clean out all of the accounts but I would take Most ha Just saying you have kids you need to survive but leave him something even if its hard because in court a judge will notice that and respect that even tho he broke his vows you still love him and were hurt the other way a judge will think your just as dirty and could care less about him too so why make him pay for cheating Im just saying Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammy333 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 it is very hard and i did put alot into this marriage. like waiting from him while he was deployed already 3 times for over 12 months each time and yes i was bored lots of times but never got the idea to look for another man . i am not feeling i am making myself as low as him. fact is he will have nothing when he gets back except lots and lots of debt . maybe one of his craigslist chicks will support him ! i wont even have to worry about seeing a judge because i wont even be in this country anymore once he is back and all the cars and everything else will be gone with me as well. thank god our 4 children are grown now and in college ! Link to post Share on other sites
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