patrol Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 I'm not much of a "touchy feely" person but I'd like to learn so I can form stronger connections with both friends and lovers. So what forms of touching is usually appropriate when you're first getting to know someone? I don't want to get called out for sexual harassment or creep people out >< haha. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 So what forms of touching is usually appropriate when you're first getting to know someone? I don't want to get called out for sexual harassment or creep people out >< haha. Everyone is different about whether they'll like it, but lightly and briefly touching someone you are dating on the arm or shoulder is unlikely to get you called out for sexual harassment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author patrol Posted June 22, 2013 Author Share Posted June 22, 2013 Everyone is different about whether they'll like it, but lightly and briefly touching someone you are dating on the arm or shoulder is unlikely to get you called out for sexual harassment. That's what I figured too.... Any ideas how I could do it naturally though? Under what situation would I touch her lightly on the arm? Probably not out of the blue right? Link to post Share on other sites
leongrado Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 With friends hand shakes and high fives are customary. With lovers anything goes. What if it's your very first real interaction? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 Sexual harassment is not something you're likely to be accused of unless you don't know this person at all and keep taking any kind of verbal liberties. If you touch someone who you don't know it can be reported as assault. If you're seeing someone socially and don't know if it's appropriate, you have to "sense" how welcome you are by how the conversation is going. When you're in motion is the best way to touch because there's a window where you're just being politie and helpful and it's not taken as being forward or groping. Like pulling out a woman's chair and offering a hand to her feet. If she avoids that, you know not to try to touch her. If it's winter, you may help her on with her coat. See if there is incidental contact. Offering an arm (where your hand is folded back toward your chest) is another custom not considered "personal". But that can be used to transition to hand holding. If she doesn't take your hand, you know it's not happening. But your not left there with your chin on the floor rejected and horrified. You just go on and finish the date and chalk it off that she enjoyed your dime. I have even put my hand out across the table with fingers pointing up. If she's cool with it, she may put her hand to yours. If the fingers then intertwine, that's a positive. If she doesn't do it and asks, say I just wanted to see if you'd take my hand. No big whoop. It's all pretty smooth if you don't carry yourself like a nervous wreck or do abrupt things that don't give her a choice in the matter. You want her to feel comfortable that there's no pressure either way and there won't be any drama whatever she decides. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 That's what I figured too.... Any ideas how I could do it naturally though? Under what situation would I touch her lightly on the arm? Probably not out of the blue right? To emphasise a point of conversation or to draw her attention to something, perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
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