Bittersweetie Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 DOT, Sending you positive thoughts and hugs for you and your puppy! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Me too! Sending you tons of healthy doggie vibes!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Oh, no. I am traveling and just saw your post. I am right there with you about how important our dogs are to us, and going through something like this - not only facing your potential loss but looking at the suffering of your canine friend … awful. I am really hoping for the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Thinking of you and hoping for the best, DOT...... (((dot))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamingoftigers Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 She passed. Neurologically she was failing. They now think an underlying condition. She knew me at moments and then grew confused at some. She couldn't hold her head steady. Could not work her back legs well until they gave her a muscle relaxant right before one of the final injections. Then she jumped up and ran right into a wall. She wouldn't stop barking and howling. But her bark and howl were completely unrecognizable and not from distress. Her brain could not manage to transmit the proper impulses or her nerve endings could not receive them. She just looked around like "fix this! Fix this! Fix this!" But we couldn't. I told her so many ways that I love her and she's a great dog and a good girl. She sedated instantly. And then she was gone. I felt her go. Not in my hands or by seeing it. I felt it when she left. I had no idea what people were talking about before that. Now I get it. Then she just "wasn't there anymore." A millisecond after I felt her go, I said "oh she's gone" right as the Vet was saying that her heart was stopped. Right the same instant. I wish that I knew where she went. It just feels like left somewhere. I miss her already. But the grief isn't the sharp, stabbing grief that it was this weekend. I miss my friend. I miss her cuddling up on the bed with me. All 90lbs of her. And being so darn pushy all of the time for attention. I miss her. I will miss her probably forever. Unless there's something after this where we get to see each other. IDK. I just miss her. She was a great dog. I've had her since she was small enough to bathe in the bathroom sink. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamingoftigers Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 I wish I had a "feel good" LS story. Her ashes will come back to us. But she isn't really there anymore. I hope that there's something past this for her. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm very sorry DOT. I wish there was something else I could say... Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherLife Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 DOT, I am very sorry for you and your beloved dog. I can't stop crying for you. I too had to have my beloved dog put to sleep. It is just horrible... Link to post Share on other sites
c.jude Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I wish I had a "feel good" LS story. Her ashes will come back to us. But she isn't really there anymore. I hope that there's something past this for her. DOT, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this helps (it helped me): Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 {{{{hugs}}}} DoT Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamingoftigers Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm sorry folks. She did have a good life though. She did. The last year or so wasn't all that great, it was boring waiting for us to come home exhausted at the end of the day. But she travelled. She had a family for awhile. She ate a pizza box once. When I first got her, we had another dog that was 20 lbs and she was 5 lbs. He didn't know his own strength and he would really knock her around. Not too hard but you could see she was totally frustrated. Well he was a Border Collie cross that was six weeks older than her. She was a Lab and Bernese cross. At about nine months she outgrew him. One day he tried to clobber her and she sat on him and humped him while he yelped and barked indignantly. He was never so pushy with her again. When we had four of them, she could easily have been the dominant. But she wasn't interested. She just wanted to laze around like a Bernese. She was much bigger and tougher than the others but couldn't have cared less who was in charge. As long as no one tried to take her snacks. No one EVER got her snacks. And she wasn't rough about it. Never got pissing mad. Just "hey give me that back, okay fine, I'm not going to fight about it." One time Owen kept yanking on her as she was trying to eat these unshelled sunflower seeds that someone had dropped in the park. He would pull and pull and pull until he pulled her away from them. Then she'd whack him back and go back to eating the seeds. He was using his full force to pull on her neck and ears and she completely ignored it because she was using her full force to snack. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm so sorry, DoT. You are a wonderful doggie mommy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamingoftigers Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 My husband has been exceptionally great/supportive through this whole thing. It's hitting him harder now than me. I think I reached my grief peak when I made the decision. I wailed like a baby. Then it just needed to be done. I can tell that I can't handle the grief now. I've just kinda blocked it out except when I think of her. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 She passed. Neurologically she was failing. They now think an underlying condition. She knew me at moments and then grew confused at some. She couldn't hold her head steady. Could not work her back legs well until they gave her a muscle relaxant right before one of the final injections. Then she jumped up and ran right into a wall. She wouldn't stop barking and howling. But her bark and howl were completely unrecognizable and not from distress. Her brain could not manage to transmit the proper impulses or her nerve endings could not receive them. She just looked around like "fix this! Fix this! Fix this!" I'm so, so sorry, DoT. The uncontrollable barking and howling is just awful, and I've never seen it get better. I'm very sorry you had to see her like that. Neuro cases are just so difficult. I can't imagine what you must have felt when you saw her. But we couldn't. I told her so many ways that I love her and she's a great dog and a good girl. She sedated instantly. And then she was gone. I felt her go. Not in my hands or by seeing it. I felt it when she left. I had no idea what people were talking about before that. Now I get it. Then she just "wasn't there anymore." A millisecond after I felt her go, I said "oh she's gone" right as the Vet was saying that her heart was stopped. Right the same instant. I wish that I knew where she went. It just feels like left somewhere. I miss her already. But the grief isn't the sharp, stabbing grief that it was this weekend. I miss my friend. I miss her cuddling up on the bed with me. All 90lbs of her. And being so darn pushy all of the time for attention. I miss her. I will miss her probably forever. Unless there's something after this where we get to see each other. IDK. I just miss her. She was a great dog. I've had her since she was small enough to bathe in the bathroom sink. Yeah, you can just feel them go. It is the strangest feeling in the world, almost numbing. Kind of unreal. But do take comfort in knowing she was at peace and with her beloved owner when she left and that she's no longer suffering. In a way, letting go and being there with them can be one of the most loving things to do, no matter how hard and painful it is. She was incredibly lucky to have such a loving home and such wonderful owners. And she'll live on in your heart forever, DoT. It may sound cheesy, but they really do leave paw prints on your heart and change you. Very, very sorry for your loss. RIP, sweet doggy. It might be worth it to look around and see if you can find any pet loss groups. Sometimes it helps to grieve with others who have just gone through the same thing. ((((DoT)))) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 (((((((((DoT))))))))))) Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Ahhh, sh*t. I'm actually a getting a little (okay, a lot) teary and choked up at this whole thing, DoT. I feel for you so, so much. Doggies hold such a special place in our hearts; those who haven't felt that kind of love for an animal just don't understand. (I swear, sometimes I think I love dogs more than people!) I remember when our family dog Bambi passed, and when my own precious little chihuahua Gigi passed. Both deaths were quite sudden (my Gigi passed in a matter of hours from heart failure), and I found out after it was too late - I didn't even get to say goodbye. That fact has kind of haunted me over the years; I wished I could have been there with them, for them, comforting them (and myself) as they moved on to their next life... especially my baby girl, Gigi. Sometimes I wonder if she was thinking, "Where's my mommy?" Gawd, it tears me apart. Anyway, I'm so happy that you got that chance to say goodbye to her. It'll mean so much to you as the years go by, I'm sure of that. Big hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 (((((((Dot))))))) I am so sorry. I understand your pain. We lost one of our cats years ago and it was hell. But one of the things that stands in my mind is that when we were in the vets making that awful decision is that she looked at me and miaowed. That may not seem like a big deal but in all the years she was with us, she never ever miaowed in front of others such as vets. It really was as if she was saying "I've had enough. It's my time". I also felt her pass the way you have felt your dog go. Those first few days afterwards were just a blur with tears and pain. Years later, we both still miss her and talk of her often but the overridding thing is all the good memories we have. Of the way she was the top cat in the house (and therefore Number 1 in pecking order with Wuggle and I way down the list). Of the way she would singe her whiskers by sitting too close to an old gas heater we had once. Of the way she would give us the most withering looks. I am smiling now thinking of her. The tears and pain will ease. You will always miss her but she will also always be with you in your heart. She lives in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamingoftigers Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 I just feel bad right now. Just worn out bad. I am so tired but I don't want to go to sleep and feel the "wake up to this" feeling tomorrow morning. Do I ever not want to feel that. Every minute I think I hear her. I thought I just heard her whine. But it was the floor squeaking. My daughter already told us that she wants to give her piece of apple to Sheriff. We tell her tomorrow. But I still don't know exactly what to tell her. She's four. I was traumatized by death at that age. My Dad didn't handle it too well. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I tried to reply to you earlier, but my post is too wordy, so I might send it by PM. I'm upset tonight over something else (so will write tomorrow), but this... ♥ I was really hoping you would get to take your girl home with you, and have many more years cuddling with her. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 dreamingoftigers, This thread has really resonated with me as I lost my sweet dog Sky, on May 28th of this year. She was my faithful companion, unconditional friend, that never failed to offer me her devotion, and loyalty. I was just so glad ,that I was by her side, through her passing, letting her know, that it was alright and how thankful I would always be for the 12 1/2 years that I was priveledged to have her. Anyway, I send you hugs and my condolences. Link to post Share on other sites
SadPanda22 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I am so sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlee Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 I am so sorry for your loss. I had a sheltie pass back in 2008 and it still stings. You gave her the best life you could and you didn't stop fighting, i'm sure she knew that. Thinking of you, I hope you're doing okay. xxx Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 So sorry, DOT, you have my deepest sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Losing pets is tough, and we've been through it. It's doubly tough on the kids, and the only time I saw my grandfather cry is when he lost one of his dogs. It's easily the worst part about having pets. I'm sorry, DoT. It's a tough road, but your dog was lucky to have you all for a family. Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Oh baby, I'm so sorry for your loss. She perked up to say goodbye to her loved ones. A true best friend and loved one. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts