hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 alright i'm gonna try to keep it short here... i met this girl on a dating site.. we've been talking for almost 2 weeks now texting and on the phone...we finally went out yesterday we had a great time, we holded hands, kissed, hugged everything the girl tells me she really likes me BUT, when we were at the bar we were already plannning for our next outing and she said: oh and next week i'm gonna go out with this other guy, I'm like oh yea, so am I on your top 2. she's like oh yea.. so i said oh that's cool.. anyways, it really bothered me but since we're not exclusive i didn't say anything. we continued our night we didnt' have sex, but we kissed passionately in the parking lot, making out, everything anyways, so she left cause the next day she had to work....so she texted me when she got home, and said her good nights and then she asked, "i have a big question for you?" i'm like, "sure what's up?" she asked, "what did you think when i told you i was gonna go out with another guy next week?" I told her, "well since we're not exclusive yet she can do whatever she wants, it's up to her, but i'lll just keep my options open." so then she replied, "I probably should have kept that info to myself, cuz now i seem like a b@#ch. I just thought I should be honest. I'm looking for relationship. WE probably moved a little fast tonite, but that's only cuz I like u. haha We've been been texting for a while, so I felt like I already knew u. I still wanna get to know u. How do u feel about it?" So I haven't replied back. I don't wanna seem like such a wuzz, but don't know what to say. Any suggestions?
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) That situation would not sit well with me, but I'm not into the whole multi dating thing. I wouldn't even try to build anything with a girl knowing she was likely to be with someone else later that nite, the next day etc. It's kinda gross thinking you could end up with a mouthful of some other guy. Not a very encouraging admission by her, however honest she was, if she liked u. Edited June 22, 2013 by Joaquin 9
rocketman122 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Dont believe in multi dating and would never date a multi dater. Could be shes testing you though. who knows. either way, not my thing. 4
Msmickey Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I know how you feel, I'm going through similar thing as well and it's only 2nd date. Do you like her? It's good to be honest and truthful.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Dont believe in multi dating and would never date a multi dater. Could be shes testing you though. who knows. either way, not my thing. yea i'm feeling the same way here though how many times have we all dated a girl and wondered if she's dating someone else? i mean we wouldn't know unless we went to check on her facebook. yea i'm kind of in awe here don't know what to reply.....
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 I know how you feel, I'm going through similar thing as well and it's only 2nd date. Do you like her? It's good to be honest and truthful. yea it's buggin me right now, but she did say they only text once in a while. i'm like fudge well i mean every girl we talk to there's probably 2 or 3 guys after them that we don't know about but at least this one was honest...i do like this chick... she even told me she liked me when we left the parking lot and i said me too.
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 yea it's buggin me right now, but she did say they only text once in a while. i'm like fudge well i mean every girl we talk to there's probably 2 or 3 guys after them that we don't know about but at least this one was honest...i do like this chick... she even told me she liked me when we left the parking lot and i said me too. I call BS. Shes honest and tells u that she's dating, then reduces it to nothing more than the odd text. She is screwing with yr head. This really comes down to what u can handle. If u can detach and just keep it casual and accept that she's screwing other guys before and after u, then fine. Otherwise, I would reply something like....Hey that's cool. But the thought of sticking my tongue/weener where some other bloke may have just been makes me want to vomit. If u know this ain't for u, and u go along with it anyway, yr probably toast.
Sunshine87 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I think she likes you! I think she told you that she is dating another guy in the hopes that that would make you "fight" for her/ be exclusive with her. When you got home, she sent you a text asking how you feel about her going on dates with another guy. She did that to gauge your feelings. She wanted to find out if you were hurt or upset which wouldve been inidicative of feelings for her. Some girls are very insecure and often resort to playing games eg letting her date know that she is desired by other men. It is very clear from her actions that she likes you. The more you play it cool, the more intrigued she will be by you. She probably expected you to react (in a way that wouldve fed her ego) but you didn't. Haha. I say: Keep talking to her. Don't mention the issue about the other guy. Date other girls if you can too. 2
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) I disagree. Girls that like a guy don't, in my experience, discuss dating other men. If they do, they aren't good'ns. If this one likes the op, she wouldn't have brought it up, but just stopped dating other men. Edited June 22, 2013 by Joaquin 1
Sunshine87 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I disagree. Girls that like a guy don't, in my experience, discuss dating other men. If they do, they aren't good'ns. If this one likes the op, she wouldn't have brought it up, but just stopped dating other men. Actually I know several women who have done this. Unfortunately I have too, in the past. I wasn't sure about the guy. Although I was younger and wouldn't do that again. I also wanted to get a reaction from him. Not saying it's the right tactic. No it isn't. But that doesn't detract from the fact that there is a high possibility that the girl mentioned the other guy in order to give him a little "nudge".
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Actually I know several women who have done this. Unfortunately I have too, in the past. I wasn't sure about the guy. Although I was younger and wouldn't do that again. I also wanted to get a reaction from him. Not saying it's the right tactic. No it isn't. But that doesn't detract from the fact that there is a high possibility that the girl mentioned the other guy in order to give him a little "nudge". This is confusing. U weren't sure if u liked the guy, but gave him a nudge anyway. It's all a bit gamey, but as u say, u were younger and a little unsure of what u wanted.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 I think she likes you! I think she told you that she is dating another guy in the hopes that that would make you "fight" for her/ be exclusive with her. When you got home, she sent you a text asking how you feel about her going on dates with another guy. She did that to gauge your feelings. She wanted to find out if you were hurt or upset which wouldve been inidicative of feelings for her. Some girls are very insecure and often resort to playing games eg letting her date know that she is desired by other men. It is very clear from her actions that she likes you. The more you play it cool, the more intrigued she will be by you. She probably expected you to react (in a way that wouldve fed her ego) but you didn't. Haha. I say: Keep talking to her. Don't mention the issue about the other guy. Date other girls if you can too. yea i know i was just gonna play it cool when she said i still wanna get to know u how do u feel about it? i was just going to say: oops i fell asleep yesterday and just say I'm down. and that's it.... true though i'm still gonna date other girls... that's why i stated on my text that i'd keep my options open then.
hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Let me ask you this: If you were dating a girl and told her that you were seeing other girls too, and then later told her that it was kinda dicked and you just wanted to see her reaction...what would that make you? Pretty sure it would make you an ass, even in the eyes of all these women who will tell you what this girl is doing if fine and dandy. Plain and simply, bottom line, brass tacks - what that chick said to you was in bad taste. It was a sh***y thing to say and shows what her character is like. She's now bootycall material, go online and get another one. 3
Sunshine87 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Ps: I wasn't "screwing" any other guy either. Not him or any other guy. So there is a possibility that this girl might not be making out with this other date of hers. Nobody knows except her. But just throwing in another perspective.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Let me ask you this: If you were dating a girl and told her that you were seeing other girls too, and then later told her that it was kinda dicked and you just wanted to see her reaction...what would that make you? Pretty sure it would make you an ass, even in the eyes of all these women who will tell you what this girl is doing if fine and dandy. Plain and simply, bottom line, brass tacks - what that chick said to you was in bad taste. It was a sh***y thing to say and shows what her character is like. She's now bootycall material, go online and get another one. man that's what i was thinking too. i mean well i just wanna find a good comeback to say so it leaves here wondering that she's not the only one dating but don't know what to reply.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Dont believe in multi dating and would never date a multi dater. Could be shes testing you though. who knows. either way, not my thing. true man i was thinking the same thing and replying this way: Well I'm still dating too intermittently till I find someone that I know is the right fit for me. So we can still get to know each other and see what happens! u know i was going to say that so she knows she's not the only one play a revers psychology on her. it's kind of ****ed up that girls can say these things that they're dating other guys and **** or so o we're just friends but when we tell em these things we sound like *******s to them
hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) man that's what i was thinking too. i mean well i just wanna find a good comeback to say so it leaves here wondering that she's not the only one dating but don't know what to reply. You aren't married to her, you aren't emotionally invested at all. So just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. Find a girl who has a dating attitude more in tune with yours and you will be happier. No comebacks etc that is what she wants. It feeds her ego. Just move on girls like this are a headache and there's better out there anyways. Edited June 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Op seems to want to push on with her. Just don't turn into a mental case over her. She has put u on notice.
Sunshine87 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 This is confusing. U weren't sure if u liked the guy, but gave him a nudge anyway. It's all a bit gamey, but as u say, u were younger and a little unsure of what u wanted. Yup. It is gamey. That's what a lot of people do when dating- play games. Sad but true. I wasn't sure about him I.e I wasn't sure about his intentions. I wanted a serious relationship but wasn't sure what he wanted. I didn't want to come out straight so decided to take the cunny way out. I.e tell him I was "going on dates" with other guys in order to "push" him into exclusivity. He used to say things like "I can't believe you're telling me to my face that you are going on dates with other guys". Lol. Na, I wouldn't resort to that tactic at this point. I was younger.
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 If she was really into you, the other guy wouldn't exist. Second, she's immature and a game player. If that were me, I would have played it cool and then never see her again. 3
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Op seems to want to push on with her. Just don't turn into a mental case over her. She has put u on notice. what does OP mean?
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Yup. It is gamey. That's what a lot of people do when dating- play games. Sad but true. I wasn't sure about him I.e I wasn't sure about his intentions. I wanted a serious relationship but wasn't sure what he wanted. I didn't want to come out straight so decided to take the cunny way out. I.e tell him I was "going on dates" with other guys in order to "push" him into exclusivity. He used to say things like "I can't believe you're telling me to my face that you are going on dates with other guys". Lol. Na, I wouldn't resort to that tactic at this point. I was younger. well she is 24.. hmmmm well what should i tell her then play it cool or just leave her wondering?
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Original poster. oh ok thanks
iamawesome Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Nothing wrong with dating multiple people, just make sure you are doing it too and playing the game doesn't wear you out. Otherwise, the sooner you move on, the better. 1
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