Joe Snow Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 We have been broken up for over a month now and I have a real problem. I have to force myself out of bed in the morning, food just doesn't appeal to me anymore, I hate to be alone but when I am out with others I just want to be back at home feeling sorry for myself. I tried to talk to my friends about it but everyone said it is just a normal process and to get out in the world some more and it will start to go away. I've had a new job for two weeks now and I signed up for college courses but nothing seems to be working. I have no desire to talk to women. It's not even about my ex anymore, I seem to have lost all my desire to live. I try to help myself but it doesn't seem to work. When I get bored I do stuff that used to make me feel better but now it doesn't. I seem to think more and more about killing myself. I am seriously considering getting professional help but instinctively I feel that it would only make me feel worse. Has anyone felt this way and made it out the other side before? I have always been a strong-minded person and this is just killing me inside. I know I should be starting to cope by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 you're suffering from a bout of depression. REAL clinical depression not just what most think is just people feeling down one day. You SHOULD go get some professional help. See your doctor and ask for his/her advice. I'd guess he/she will either prescribe some anti-depressants or will give you a name of a therapist to go talk to. Oh and you should try to exercise and get a lot of fresh air...both help with depression. If you are using alcohol or other drugs then stop. They only make depression worse. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 I agree. You really need to seek some professional help. Also, talk to as many friends as possible. Your support network is crucial during a breakup and you really will feel better talking about your troubles. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovehertodeath Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Most of us have gone through this "depression" stage after a break up. I wanted to kill myself because I felt like there was no point in living anymore. BUT trust me....Things will get better for you...It might take a couple months, maybe even a year or so. Hang in there buddy...you are not alone. If you ever need advice just come talk to us...we CAN and WILL help you. DO NOT....I REPEAT....DO NOT STAY HOME....try to get out as much as possible and surround yourself friends and family. Find a replacement for that broad....there are plenty of them out there...you just have to do a little work. GO GET THEM BUDDY! Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 Originally posted by Ilovehertodeath Most of us have gone through this "depression" stage after a break up. I wanted to kill myself because I felt like there was no point in living anymore. BUT trust me....Things will get better for you...It might take a couple months, maybe even a year or so. Hang in there buddy...you are not alone. If you ever need advice just come talk to us...we CAN and WILL help you. DO NOT....I REPEAT....DO NOT STAY HOME....try to get out as much as possible and surround yourself friends and family. Find a replacement for that broad....there are plenty of them out there...you just have to do a little work. GO GET THEM BUDDY! Ditto. I felt I was going to die after my ex left. But I am still here, stronger and wiser. He basically disappeared after living together for five months. I couldn't eat (lost a lot of weight), couldn't stop thinking about him. I never thought I would get over it...but I did. Seek professional help...anything. It's going to take time...but you will eventually recover. Take Care. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 I didn't eat for months after my ex left. I had to force myself to eat and dropped to about 95lbs at one point. I'm little, but that was way too thin for me. Eventually the depression will lift, but you have to do things to make it better or it will linger a lot longer. Get out of that house as much as possible, but don't subject yourself to the pain of "pick up" bars right now. Join the gym, learn to play a musical instrument, work tons of overtime, whatever. Just keep so busy that you don't have time to think. Go for lots of long walks. As hard as it may be to do it, physical exercise really does help. When you start to find other interests, your self-esteem will gradually come back. I'm gonna guess your whole world revolved around this girl before you broke up. Now she's gone and so are all your interests and social activities. Your life was such an extension of her that when she left, she took it all with her. You have to create your own world now, and never circle it around anyone else ever again. Good luck, and if the thoughts of killing yourself are severe, get your ass to a professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Camron Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 .I am going through a similar situation as yours. Both times that I have been dumped, I felt like "What's the point of going on anymore?" My advice? Love your self. Small things, like taking yourself out shopping, go to get a haircut, go to the gym, and, after a while please, TALK TO OTHER WOMEN! Trust me, it gets easier everyday. Write her a letter, describing everything that she has done to cause you pain and put it in a box. But put yourself on the path to healing by working on both you inner and outer needs--you'll be surprised how quickly you move on from her....(just my $0.02!) Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 And remember...your life existed before this woman and it will exist afterward. You weren't born simply for her sake so you need to realize that. It's hard but it is one of the first things a person has to do. Link to post Share on other sites
DESI Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 I often feel the same way. I lost 20lbs I was down to 95lbs at one point but I am only 5'2. I felt and sometimes still feel like there is no point in living, he was my world, he was my future, and now its gone. I often feel like suicide would be the only answer to all this pain. I often feel like I am the only one that is going through all this pain, and if I can't be with the one that I love, the I am obviously not worth loving. I often feel like I have no one to talk to about it, and I am simply never going to get over this. It is so hard, I am seeing a psychologist and hopefully soon will be put on an anti-depressant. My thoughts about suicide often scare me. This is very serious, I have even gone as far as telling my brother this, and he just acted like I was being stupid, and he didn't take me seriously. He said it would be selffish, I agree it would be. But when the pain is that deep, some people feel like its the only way out. Just know that your not alone, it is quite common, I am a psychology major. Meds really do help. Don't let anyone tell you meds are bad. There are a lot of stereotypes on people on Prozac and many other meds, but if your not comfortable with peoples comments about anti-depressants, no one has to know. But if you start taking a med please stay on it, even if you start to feel better, because if you get off of it too quickly your depression will get worse. Hopefully you will get some help, good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
Bender donetat Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Just my opionion and experiences here.... We all get these feelings but eventually they do go away.... one thing that helped me tremendously is to remember one thing.......if she was willing to put me through this pain i never knew her anyway so what i loved was the image that i had created for her.......not her......find one thing that makes you mad at your ex and use that as your hinge....anytime you get sad, lonely, suicidal, etc. just remember that one thing that pisses you off about him/her.......helped me..... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
bamaguy20 Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 keep your chin up, i was exactly like you...i used to cry about my ex girlfriend all the time, and im not that big of a crier......i was in hell for about 2-3 months..plus i had to see her flirting with every guy she could, cuz we went to school together and had same friends, shed stay over at my fraternity brothers house till 3 in the morning watchin movies and ****....im pretty sure nothign ever happend, but she would do that just to **** with me....girls are bitches, its been 8 months for me and i still think about her constantly..but the pain is no longer as deep..its almost gone...id say a godo time table would be....2 weeks for every month you were with them...after that hopefully you will b e feeling better...im lookin to give myself another 3 or 4 months before i am COMPLETLY free of her Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 2 weeks for every month? Crap thats over a year I'm meant to be thinking of her? Its only 2 weeks since I broke up and well I'm feeling a bit better already, at first I didn't want to get of bed and I didn't eat much. I even took a week of work. Well I'd been trying to lose weight so the breakup helped and I've managed to stop the weight from coming back on even though I'm back to eating just not as large a quantity as previously. I guess it depends on the circumstances, talking to psychologist about it WILL help and they'll give you advice, I'd only take anti-depressants if they really insist, as you could become dependant on them and coming off them wouldn't be that nice. I only have 3 friends that I feel that I can really talk to and hang out with and then I have another 2 friends at Uni. I've not really met that many people so I've been trying to find other things to do with my time since these friends are usually busy at night wither other comitments. First thing I done was to extend my nights sleep by an hour which helped, I now feel better when I get up in the morning and well it was one less hour to find something to occupy myself with. I've since been watching more DVD's, going to the gym more frequently and working alot of overtime. When I go out with friends I make sure that I make as much eye contact and smile at as many girls as I can and when you get one that smilies back then it makes me feel so much better, even if I dont talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Do you have insurance to help you pay for counseling? If not, call a therapist and tell them that you are suicidal but you cannot afford treatment... Make sure to tell them the truth and that you are unable to pay for it... they will steer you in the right direction but it takes your strength to help people understand where you are coming from. Don't be afraid to call a therapist now. Link to post Share on other sites
Crux- Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 I'm so relieved that other people are going through the same thing..I'm normally a very strong person but since my break-up I've been doing the samething....crying like a baby...waking up thinking about her going to bed thinking about her...thinking of killing myself (not acting on it)....Feeling like you don't exist calling my friends at 2-3 in the morning....Hang in man it's all you can do....to cope I've baried myself in work...bought a musical insterment...and workout like an insane mo fo........ Keep your head up... I guess they say that all this stuff is normal... P.S Don't Drink it screws you up more................ Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Well break ups aren't exactly brought up often and you dont see a break up in a normal family environment. It would help if there was some sort of resource that described typical behaviour after a break up. I'm suprised Dr Phil doesn't have a book Link to post Share on other sites
baseballguy05 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 When I started reading your situation, I felt like I was reading a biography of my life. I am in the exact same situation. My ex and I broke up about two weeks ago, and I have had to force my self to get up every morning. Every single morning I wake up and I try and find a reason to go on. I just dont feel the need to go on. I feel nothing anymore. Not even the crack of the wood meeting the ball and drivin the ball over the shortstops head and into left-center! When I was together with my girlfriend, I felt like I owned the world. It was just like in a movie or somethin. She would come to my games, and cheer for me. She wore my varsity jacket and all that. And everything that goes with that whole scene! Then my whole world was torn apart! My parents tell me that we are moving to Lexington, South Carolina! Being the stupid person that I was, I waited and didnt tell her right off! When I did, I never dreamed that she would say what she did! She told me that she would wait forever for me to come back. We worked out a plan, that I would move back when I turn 18. We were scheduled to move two weeks after I told her. Those two weeks were the most special two weeks I had ever spent with her. When the two weeks was up and it was time for me to leave, We laid in her bed and cryed together! I got into the car, and watched her stand on her steps until I couldnt see her house. As time went on, we gradually grew apart. We were gonna try and stay "together" for the time we were apart. But I thought it wasn't fair to either of us to go on living like that. When we broke up, it was like we never even dated. I would go back to see her, and she didnt want to see me. She said it was too hard to see me. Then I find out that she is dating someone else. Which is fine, but she could have atleast told me about it. I think I would have a right to know. Now she has just forgot about me and all that we had planned. Yeah , she calls every once in a while, but it isnt the same. It really hurts me. I cant eat or sleep, or function without thinking of how it used to be. All I do is lay around, sleep, sulk in my self pitty. The thought of that pistol keeps looking sweeter and sweeter. I know I have a problem, but I cant force myself to do anything anymore. I quit baseball, I quit my job. I am dead, but Im alive! Can anyone help? Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Dude go see the doctor, it sounds like you have a case of mild depression. Nothing to be too worried about but you'd feel alot better if you talked to someone about it and someone who you dont know (psychologist) would be good. Dont feel wierd about it, I plan to make an appointment at some point this week as I just want someone to talk to that I don't know and wont judge me. Link to post Share on other sites
baseballguy05 Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 All my life Ive been a strong willed person. Someone you could depend on to not break under pressure. But now, I cant do anything. All I do is stay at home and sleep. I dont get out and run any more, I dont even go play ball anymore. I just dont want to do anything. Ive had a hard life, Im not gonna go there right now, but thats what part of my depression is I think. My past is coming back to haunt me. Anyway, back on topic. It would just be enbarrising for me to go see a doctor about this. People would think differently of me. I just dont think I can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Your doctor can't tell anyone they'll be bound by doctor / patient confidentiality. If your under 18 then its possible for your parents to get it as their still your legal guardians. Link to post Share on other sites
nosleep Posted November 7, 2004 Share Posted November 7, 2004 no buddys worth it, suicide nobody cares. Hey I am having a very hard time getting over my ex boyfriend and thought I would check out the shack. My two cents on this...suicide is not a solution. My brother killed himself 2 months ago and my dad killed himself 2 years ago. My mother was an alcoholic, basically killed herself just a little less violence, My point is this, don't f*** around with suicide or even talking about it. Get help, get religion, counseling. All of those and more. You cannot put your happiness in the hands of another person. It isn't fair to them or yourself. Suicide is so cruel to those that care about you.....major mess to clean up. Don't be ruled by this situation (talking to you, me and anyone else listening). We are obsessed with these people (or we would get over it) and we need to accept the things that can't be changed. Especially when that other person flat out rejects you. My brother left a note saying he loved his girlfriend and hated the world. She wasnt that moved that it was all about her ( or so he would have us believe). No take backs on suicide, no glory, no revenge...just death. It hurts like a mother, but there is NO other choice. MOVE ON!! Link to post Share on other sites
Dgtsit Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Aw, you sound like you are having a TERRIBLE time! Well, let me tell you something, I have to force myself out of bed, too, so at least you're not alone. And since it's beein going on for a little while now I've decided to seek professional help. I was a little skeptical at first, but have come to accept that there are some emotions humans can't deal with on their own. So my advice to you is to do the same, find a therapist, it's nothing to be ashamed or scared about. They are there to help you so utilize them for you own benefit. If you need to talk about anything you can email me at [email protected]. Just remember, you are not alone, there are many people in your situation, the quickest fix I can think of is happy, feel-good music...Though it's simple, it seems to work miracles. Good luck! Amber Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 We have been broken up for over a month now and I have a real problem. I have to force myself out of bed in the morning, food just doesn't appeal to me anymore, I hate to be alone but when I am out with others I just want to be back at home feeling sorry for myself. I tried to talk to my friends about it but everyone said it is just a normal process and to get out in the world some more and it will start to go away. I've had a new job for two weeks now and I signed up for college courses but nothing seems to be working. I have no desire to talk to women. It's not even about my ex anymore, I seem to have lost all my desire to live. I try to help myself but it doesn't seem to work. When I get bored I do stuff that used to make me feel better but now it doesn't. I seem to think more and more about killing myself. I am seriously considering getting professional help but instinctively I feel that it would only make me feel worse. Has anyone felt this way and made it out the other side before? I have always been a strong-minded person and this is just killing me inside. I know I should be starting to cope by now.don't ya worry u will grow outta it.Life has so much to offer indulge in 'em i know itz easier to say than done but give ita short...u 'll b ..k Link to post Share on other sites
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