Going to a 2 day concert with a friend

[lovesick8911]

A while back I posted about a girl who pretty much kept me on her backburner. Over the past year and a half I asked her out twice; she kindly rejected me. The last time was back in January. I told I her I will always like her more than a friend. She said she still wanted to talk to meand see me, but I pretty much cut ties with her after that. I saw her one time in a bar in March and she hugged me and everything seemed like nothing happened. I continued to move on, though I did text her a few times.

 

I texted her three times since then, which was strictly about a band we both liked. The third time I texted her, I told her that our band was playing at a festival a few hours away from us. She said we HAD to go. She was extremely excited. She told me she was going to invite some of her other concert going friends (all female). She also said that maybe we could pitch in and rent a hotel room since it's a two day event. So I asked her to order my ticket for me and I would pay her back the day she orders it. So I met her at the mall to give her the money and we ate at the food court and talked for about an hour. She hugged me by and everything sounded normal.

 

Here's the thing. I know she sees me just as a friend and I've accepted that, though I still do have feelings for her. But the fact that I might be in a hotel room with her--she did say her friends might not go --and will be in the same vehicle with her for hours, I still can't help but to think that something sexually could happen. Hell, since I've given up as trying to pursue her romantically, is there a chance I might could pursue her strictly sexually, as in a one time only thing?

 

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm a shallow deviant. I just don't understand why she would want to rent a hotel room with me and not expect anything from me when I have professed my feelings to her twice. I don't know, I'm probably over-thinking and being an idiot. Any advice?

[lovesick8911]

Anyone have anything for me?

[WildBillJP]

Girls love to be around men who like them. Even tho she may only see them as friends, it makes her feel good and protected. She most likely would not risk that, at a chance of possibly being labeled "slutty", especially since most women are not attracted to guys who plain out admit their feelings for them.

[clia]

Don't get your hopes up. It's 99% likely that nothing sexual is going to happen.

 

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm a shallow deviant. I just don't understand why she would want to rent a hotel room with me and not expect anything from me when I have professed my feelings to her twice.

 

She wants to go see the band, it is out of town, it will be cheaper for you all to split the cost of the hotel room, and since she told you she doesn't want to date you, she expects you can handle the situation like an adult. End of story.

[lovesick8911]

Thanks for the advice, guys. I keep putting myself in limbo and hoping something is going to happen when I know it's not. It's hard because it's almost like she's my security blanket. And the fact that I have social anxiety doesn't help either when I'm trying to meet new people. I feel good around her and enjoy her company, plus I'm sexually attracted to her. I've lost about thirty pounds since the last time we used to hang out, and I've changed the way I dress(not because of her, but because of me). So I keep having this little flicker of hope in the back of my head that something willl change, whether it's dating or something sexual.

 

I forgot to mention that we did go out on one date when I first met her. Don't know if that changes anything.

[Madman81]

While you're at the concert, flirt and chat with other girls. She may see this and get jealous, in which case you'll have some info you didn't have previously. And if she sees it and doesn't get jealous, you've lost nothing and had some fun into the bargain. Just don't do it with the expectation or hope that it'll result in something happening with her; that way you won't be disappointed if it doesn't. Focus on having fun -- girls like guys who are able to have a good time without the girl having to make it happen.

[lovesick8911]

While you're at the concert, flirt and chat with other girls. She may see this and get jealous, in which case you'll have some info you didn't have previously. And if she sees it and doesn't get jealous, you've lost nothing and had some fun into the bargain. Just don't do it with the expectation or hope that it'll result in something happening with her; that way you won't be disappointed if it doesn't. Focus on having fun -- girls like guys who are able to have a good time without the girl having to make it happen.

 

Thanks. I'll probably try that. I also put her on a f'n pedestal, which I've got to cut out. I'll probably have a lot of fun. Hell, good music, beer, and a friend girl, who knows what will happen?