I cant cope with my best mate and my girlfriend being best mates, i feel shut out.

[Boo Hoo]

Hey, i was looking for some advice about me and my girlfriend. Its not like we have a real problem, its just that i feel that theres something wrong. We've been going together for almost a year, and about 3 months ago I introduced her to my friend. They seemed to hit it off, and made a friendship of thier own, no problem there. But now, she doesnt talk to me as much, and when she does it isnt anything like it was before. We have none of that deep, future looking couple stuff going on, when ever i try and talk to her, she seems unresponsive, and she talks to my friend alot. He keeps telling me all these things about her, which i have no knowledge of, it sort of feels like they know each other better than i know them. Ive talked to her about it, and said that i feel kinda jealous (which i am, but it makes me feel like **** that i am) about him being such a close friend. I asked her if he is more of a friend to her than i was, and she said yes. I feel really bad about this, i dont know what to do. I keep trying to be more of a friend, and for our relationship to be more like it was before, but i dont know if it is working. When i ask her what im doing wrong, she tells me in doing nothing wrong, and that she really loves me.

 

What would you do if you introduced your friend to your partner and they prefered to talk to them and felt more comfortable around them? please i need some advice. I in no way think there is any more than pleutonic relationship going on, but i just cant live with being second best. I think im too clingy and possessive, but i dont know how to stop being so. I dont know, it getting me really depressed.

[twalkoe]

If you honestly believe that there isn't anything going on, then you should be happy that your best friend and your girlfriend get along.

 

There are two things going on here. You're feeling left out that she is talking with someone else and she is your girlfriend. You're feeling left out that he is sharing and talking to someone else and he is your best friend. You're kind of getting the double whammy here.

 

Most likely what's happening is that these two people know how important the other one is in your life. They are trying to get on really well to make YOU happy.

 

I know it may seem that they are leaving you out, but for now, sit back and enjoy the fact that two of the most important people in your life get along well with each other. Eventually schedules will go back to what they were and they won't spend as much time chatting.

[Fritz]

Hmm, I dunno.

He keeps telling me all these things about her, which i have no knowledge of, it sort of feels like they know each other better than i know them.

 

That would worry me a lot and I can understand why you would feel left out and jealous. This doesn't necessarily sound like they are just getting along to be good friends because they both care about Boo Hoo.

[sweetpea01]

I was in a similar situation where my bf introduced me to his best friend, and me and the friend hit it off. He called me, took me out to eat, we went to bars, etc. And at one point my bf got super jealous and said that I could hang out with my bf, or with his friend, but not all 3 of us together b/c he didn't like that his friend and I got along. Well, the reason I was so close to his friend was because he was just that. A friend. He took care of me b/c I was his best friend's gf, I gave him relationship advice, and I think it was just "safe" b/c we both knew that it wasn't sexual. We surely woulndt cross that boundary. So basically, I had a really cool guy buddy that wasn't trying to sleep with me or hit on me, or anything of the sort. It's just like how you'll tell your gf ALMOST everthing, but some things you'll only discuss with your friends. Same for her. She probably needs to vent certain things out, and tells him some of it, b/c she can't say it to you. Relax, and just be happy that 2 of the most important ppl in your life are getting along.

 

 

Sweetpea