Rosearm Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I am not ashamed to admit that I use the services of working girls during periods of my life. It used to be regular and I got very close to one girl who I stupidly lent money too (you might remember from three years ago) I was seeing someone for a while but it didn't work out and I have started to see another working girl. (I met her first time last year) and since this year started to see her every month or two. However the client/provider relationship has gone beyond that and I feel as if we are starting to get a bit too close. (I always seem to do that!) I think its probably best if I walk away? Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Blebly Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Well...a bit more details please? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 It makes me sad when i hear or read of guys who get attached to escorts.....because it is an empty one sided relationship one that wont be reciprocated in nearly all cases.........its fine for the escort she goes home at the end of the day most likely to a partner and a larger bank account.....while the client goes home poorer and to the fantasy of an alternate reality........ rarely does an escort fall for a john...it does happen .....but rarely.......repeatedly falling for different escorts is a problem........a reality in your mind that never eventuates.......... please believe there is someone out there for you that you wont have to pay.............. .open your heart to that reality......someone to love you and only you......its a false and fleeting love with an escort.........and you deserve better everyone does........hugs....deb 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lansing Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 So, describe your current relationship with her? You still have sex with her but don't pay directly for it? But, do you buy her gifts, take her out to dinner, take her on trips, etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 If you want to date her, give it a try. You'll have to find some way of putting a new boundary around money stuff though. You're used to paying for it. Dating doesn't go that way (for healthy people anyway). And you need, of course, to be accepting about how she earns her own money. Those things will be very tough to do, but you could try if you want to. I've known prostitutes with relationships outside of their work, but never with a former client. Except in different forms of prostitute / john kind of arrangements, like a "kept woman" scenario. She could be required to be sexually exclusive, but still, for her (and I hope for him as well) it's a well defined business relationship for mutual benefit. If dating efforts don't work, then walk. Quickly. And next time don't keep seeing the same prostitute long enough to blur the boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosearm Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 I still pay for sex. No I don't take her out or buy her gifts. She just seems to have taken a lot of interest in me. For example she asked if I was on Facebook and asked about my dating profile. She also took interest in my tattoo's and asked for the website and facebook page for it, even though we are 30 miles away and there are excellent tattooist in her area. She also told me about her lack of social life which is why she is single. She also came to my home town and thought of me when she was there. I think she might be lonely, she doesn't seem to have a social life from what I can pick up on and she spends a lot of her time with her mum and dad. She hasn't told me her real name yet, but she mentioned a client who once found out and stalked her on facebook. I got the impression she wanted me to ask her, what her real name is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosearm Posted June 29, 2013 Author Share Posted June 29, 2013 You asked for more details Guys...I have given them...please help... Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 You asked for more details Guys...I have given them...please help... run away. it's not going to work, and never going to work. every guy thinks they're the special exception to the rule when it's all just work to these ladies. just work. nothing less, nothing more. don't let her sweet talk confuse you. it's all part of the show and service. run.away.and.don't.look.back Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 don't let her sweet talk confuse you. it's all part of the show and service. Yea, imagine the likely scenario that she does and says these same things to each of her other clients... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosearm Posted August 18, 2013 Author Share Posted August 18, 2013 Well I hadn't seen her for two three months until yesterday! I stupidly went to see her, the service was rushed and she just seemed to want to talk. Again she asked me about my tattoo artist, she said she was going to go and seem him, she asked if she could mention me, I told her I didn't mind but what if he asked how I knew her, she said she would just say we we're friends. She went on to tell me about a abusive relationship and the she works as an escort to be sociable ? WTF? She asked my surname and I was stupid enough to tell her, she told me her real name. She kept telling me she stays in and watches films on her own and asked me twice what my plans were. Later on that night, she text me to say Thanks for today babe. It was lovely seeing u I had a great time xxx Is she just taking the piss out of me or what ? Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Well I hadn't seen her for two three months until yesterday! I stupidly went to see her, the service was rushed and she just seemed to want to talk. Again she asked me about my tattoo artist, she said she was going to go and seem him, she asked if she could mention me, I told her I didn't mind but what if he asked how I knew her, she said she would just say we we're friends. She went on to tell me about a abusive relationship and the she works as an escort to be sociable ? WTF? She asked my surname and I was stupid enough to tell her, she told me her real name. She kept telling me she stays in and watches films on her own and asked me twice what my plans were. Later on that night, she text me to say Thanks for today babe. It was lovely seeing u I had a great time xxx Is she just taking the piss out of me or what ? I don't know if she's taking the piss (not really sure what that means actually-insulting?) but it is pretty unlikely that she has much capability to form healthy relationships with men. Getting emotionally involved with a prostitute is probably a bad idea. That job probably very effectively trains these gals to emotionally manipulate men. You are at the point now where she's creating inroads into your life outside of the business/client relationship and I don't think that it will end well if you try to keep things moving in that direction. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Is she just taking the piss out of me or what ? In what way? Do you think she's ridiculing you, or making you feel important when you're actually not, or what? What I see is a woman doing her job, and giving a repeat client a little more attention than one-time customers. All businesses do this. If you enjoy this extra attention and still want to continue to do business in a professional manner, great! Have fun! But if it's getting too personal or you're getting too attached or feeling uncomfortable, then do business elsewhere. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 It is common for escorts to play up to clients in order to establish and secure regular business. They want you to become attached. They want you to keep coming back, and a lot will do what they need to in order to make this happen. Sex is only one part of the equation a lot of the time, as you're finding out. Stop using prostitutes. You are unable to set healthy boundaries in these situations, and appear to be using these women to fill a void that isn't solely due to a lack of sex. You're playing with fire. Put your time and energy towards more productive and enriching things. Stop distracting yourself with escorts and fantasy, and allow yourself to go out and focus on finding a healthy, fulfilling relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosearm Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 I think she's taking the piss because she knows I am too nice to tell her to stop talking and carry on with sex. She thinks/knows she can talk for an hour and get paid to do it. Either that - or she is interested in me? Or she thinks she is because she is lonely? Link to post Share on other sites
Cup-of-Jo Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 My ex-husband use to use these kinds of services all the time. That's why he is now my ex. I have seen it many times where he thought the girl was actually interested in him and when he tried to pursue it she just wanted more money. Yes, you can form relationships with these girls and even spend extra time doing things with them as far as a movie or trip but YOU will be footing the bill for it all and I assure you that when they are in a crisis that you will be the first person they call due to the "more personal friendship" you develop with them. Who else do they have to fall back on? Trust me when I tell you that you will end up getting calls about how financially troubled they are the closer you get. I have heard about cars breaking down, kids in the hospital, I have to move, I don't have rent...blah blah blah. Don't go there! Keep it professional cuz they do! Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 She thinks/knows she can talk for an hour and get paid to do it. I think you should assume that this is the case. Either that - or she is interested in me? I also think you should assume that this is not the case. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rosearm Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Yep. I think you are right. Women are evil. Hookers are even more so. I am gonna text her some **** and tell her she has taken the piss and I am not going to see her again. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Women are evil. Hookers are even more so. Er, that's not what I was implying at all. Link to post Share on other sites
oldskl Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 You are still paying her for sex whilst this is going on? She's working dude, don't be a fool. And still paying her just to chat? LOL. The second she meets up and no money is exchanged, then maybe you have something. But right now!? Reality check needed... Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Why do they ask for even more money, when they already earn money anyway? And it's more money that what you earn doing something legit! I'm probably naive because I don't know anyone in this field. My ex-husband use to use these kinds of services all the time. That's why he is now my ex. I have seen it many times where he thought the girl was actually interested in him and when he tried to pursue it she just wanted more money. Yes, you can form relationships with these girls and even spend extra time doing things with them as far as a movie or trip but YOU will be footing the bill for it all and I assure you that when they are in a crisis that you will be the first person they call due to the "more personal friendship" you develop with them. Who else do they have to fall back on? Trust me when I tell you that you will end up getting calls about how financially troubled they are the closer you get. I have heard about cars breaking down, kids in the hospital, I have to move, I don't have rent...blah blah blah. Don't go there! Keep it professional cuz they do! Link to post Share on other sites
Onward_Upward Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) Yep. ... I am gonna text her some **** and tell her she has taken the piss and I am not going to see her again. Rosearm, why are you getting so emotional over a prostitute? ... A woman who will accept money for sex from any man who offers? You're reacting like someone who is in a genuine EXCLUSIVE emotional relationship with another person... Sorry to say this, but you need a reality check my friend. If you text her in the way you've suggested, I guarantee she will not care one iota. You're just a "John"... one of the many men she has sex with on a regular basis; and sometimes she will emotionally manipulate a customer if it means he will part with more CASH... Stop projecting a "meaningful relationship" onto the situation. Like with any business, once the customer stops forking over the cash, the "business" STOPS: There are rarely favors, or concessions given by so-called "legitimate" businesses once a customer does this, so why would she be any different? Ever heard the song, "Looking for love in all the wrong places"? ... Well, right now, that's you, my friend Time to wake up... Edited August 27, 2013 by Onward_Upward Link to post Share on other sites
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