What is a wife

[hayewils]

I would like some comments on what a wife is..

I know a wife is a woman you marry but what I'm looking for, since I've never had one, I would like to see some comments.

 

What is your explanation of an emotionally supportive wife?

 

What would be expected from, or what would be normal with an emotionally supportive wife?

 

How would she be, what would she do?

 

I would just like some explanation and some opinions, I'm not a caveman here but, LOL, I seem to make some bad choices and I'm hoping to learn something.

 

This could probably be fun too...

[M30USA]

You're going to get as many definitions as there are people. Decide first whose definition you want. Then strive for that.

[CarrieT]

What is your explanation of an emotionally supportive wife?

 

What is your explanation of an emotionally supportive husband?

[hayewils]

that's true.

But you can come to a conclusion when you have several opinions.

Like working through a problem, writing work procedures or what not.

You get multiple opinions and come up with one.

I have my own opinion but im not doing anything till I get feedback.

I would like to see if everyone else feels the same, or not.

[hayewils]

What is your explanation of an emotionally supportive husband?

 

My opinion is a husband who stands by his wife. I did, I supported her in everything she did. I gave her praise in her accomplishments, I left her notes telling her I loved her. I called to talk to her about things, I never left her out. I was there for her when I knew she was bothered

My problem is that she wasn't receptive to me and my feelings when I needed her.

To call your wife when your in a car accident and her only response is,

so what do you want, me to come pick you up? Pretty crappy don't you think?

I would be right there and wouldn't ask a question except are you ok..

[M30USA]

My opinion is a husband who stands by his wife. I did, I supported her in everything she did. I gave her praise in her accomplishments, I left her notes telling her I loved her. I called to talk to her about things, I never left her out. I was there for her when I knew she was bothered

My problem is that she wasn't receptive to me and my feelings when I needed her.

To call your wife when your in a car accident and her only response is,

so what do you want, me to come pick you up? Pretty crappy don't you think?

I would be right there and wouldn't ask a question except are you ok..

 

Most likely in her mind that is just your role as a husband: to be a supplier of emotional support for her while being "strong" enough to have zero needs of your own. Good luck. I've been there.

[KathyM]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

[marqueemoon4]

I wouldn't know, I've been married once but never had a wife. Just some woman who sponged off me, went to Target and the mall 3 times a week, and took care of our son. Every now and then she actually paid attention to me too.

[hayewils]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

 

Thank you Kathy

You have just fulfilled all my questions.

I feel that you have justified my feelings in what I have been dealing with

 

\

[M30USA]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

 

Oh my gosh, I'm starting to get depressed. :/

[KathyM]

As Dr. Laura would say, "Choose wisely, treat kindly."

[TheFinalWord]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

 

Best post I have read on this site in a long time.

[worldgonewrong]

A wife should be your best friend. If you're not getting a best-friend vibe, then move on...forget the sex/etc.

Same applies to what it means to be a husband.

[M30USA]

A wife should be your best friend. If you're not getting a best-friend vibe, then move on...forget the sex/etc.

Same applies to what it means to be a husband.

 

Amen to that.

 

It seems that most spouses become enemies rather than friends. This reminds me of a great lyric by Kieth Green:

 

You want to love with me, love with me then

I only ask that you still be my friend

For there are many where friendship's unknown

They live together, but really alone

Edited June 24, 2013 by M30USA

[Techie Artist]

Forget the sex part? I disagree. I am married to a roommate husband with no sex. NOT a marriage.

 

I'd like to add to KathyM's post that a wife grows with her husband and communicates daily so that subtle changes that bind them together can be made. This prevents a relationship that grows apart.

[worldgonewrong]

Forget the sex part? I disagree. I am married to a roommate husband with no sex. NOT a marriage.

 

You're missing the point of what I'm saying. By your own admission then, he's not your best friend either.

 

Sex comes when there's communication/trust/mutual interest/mutual desire. Not cart before the horse.

[KathyM]

Forget the sex part? I disagree. I am married to a roommate husband with no sex. NOT a marriage.

 

I'd like to add to KathyM's post that a wife grows with her husband and communicates daily so that subtle changes that bind them together can be made. This prevents a relationship that grows apart.

Definitely communication is very important in a healthy marriage, as is having shared interests and taking the time to connect with each other. That helps to prevent couples from growing apart. Although it's important to have individual pursuits and interests, and not let your relationship to be the "be all, end all" in your life, it is also important to have shared interests and ways to emotionally and intellectually connect with each other.

[hayewils]

That's what I think was the number one failure with my wife and I.

Working..I was working and away quite a bit. working weekends when she was off, I was off when she was working.

We didn't make time for each other like we should have.

It is very very important.

[carhill]

What is a wife

 

When it's time to go, she's there holding one's hand and quietly offering her support, as she did throughout life. 'We had a good run. I love you'.

 

Sometimes, things are simple. People make them hard.

 

That was my role model for what a wife was.

[AE1]

The title of this post really attracted my attention. What is a wife....

 

Since I obviously didn't do the best job at being one, I can tell you what I would do differently.

 

If I fall in love again and decide to get married, I plan to put my husband's needs before my own. What I mean by this is think of what does he need today at this moment. He's home from work and hes had a bad day. I know this because of this actions. Instead of the usual "dont bring your work home I dont want to be in a bad mood to" a good caring wife would let him vent. Would you like to talk about it? Do you need some alone time to get yourself together? A shower? Dinner? Time outside?

 

In doing this all day for her husband, I believe a wife will focus more on what she can do for him vs what he SHOULD be doing for her. Women think too much about this. Well I did this for him he should have done this for me... He doesnt care bc he forgot to take out the trash etc etc etc.

 

In all what I am trying to say is in being a wife and a husband its important to think of what can i do to make their life happier, easier, and make them smile instead of focusing on what they should be doing for me.

[TaraMaiden]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

 

Thank you Kathy

You have just fulfilled all my questions.

I feel that you have justified my feelings in what I have been dealing with.

 

...Providing you remember that all these qualities should be equally reciprocated.

 

In brief: A good spouse is one who puts the other person first. Regardless of gender, professional position or domestic arrangement.

[hayewils]

...Providing you remember that all these qualities should be equally reciprocated.

 

In brief: A good spouse is one who puts the other person first. Regardless of gender, professional position or domestic arrangement.

 

Absolutely, What a wife should be, is the same that a husband should be..

I never put this post up just to say its all on the wife.

What I went through, I never received any kind of acceptance, respect, no affection. When I posted this, I was seriously confused about how a husband and a wife, when they are supposed to love each other, how to treat each other. I wanted to know what it is like to have a really great woman in a marriage who really treats her husband when she is in love with him. I see my parents and how they are with each other, had many conversations. Its just that I have never found, "The One' yet, and it is hard for me to swallow that I was with a person who at first, seemed that she loved me but I always felt that I was at arms length. Kept at bay till she needed me to do something. I do not want to live like that, I would much rather just be single. Ive got three great kids from a previous marriage, a beautiful home, two awesome dogs and a giving family. I consider myself very fortunate to have what I do have. I just haven't found the one to share it with who appreciates it.. I am not a man lacking in looks at all, I think that maybe Im lacking in my manhood.. LOL

But that's a self esteem issue that I deal with.. Ive had a great relationships with a lot of beautiful woman in my life, but none who pulled from my heart. An attraction that just pulls you to that person is something I am afraid that I will never feel again. I want to just get back to being content and happy with myself, my life. Where I go is all in Gods hands.

I leave it up to him from now on.

[HokeyReligions]

A wife is a mind reader who opens her arms to catch you just before you trip. Who always has a full can of Lysol or air freshner under the sink next to the toilet paper and sets it on the counter whenever you have beans for dinner. One who laughs at your jokes even when they are not funny because she knows you love to see and hear her laugh. One who keeps her mouth shut to your friends and family. One who cries alone on the shower because she jnows it hurts you to see her cry and knows thst guys just don't understand that sometimes women judt cry. I could go on but you get my drift.

[hoping2heal]

Well my definition of a good wife is someone who cares about you, how you are feeling, what you are doing, what is important to you, what your goals are, what your wishes are.

 

A good wife, in addition to being someone who cares about you, is someone who cares for you. Takes care of you, just as you would take care of her.

 

A good wife values your opinion, and takes the time to listen to you and interact with you. She values you, and shows that she values you on a daily basis.

 

A good wife fulfills your need for physical and emotional intimacy.

 

A good wife helps her husband in whatever ways he needs help. She is a help-mate. She is an able partner in the care of the home and family, just as the husband would be a partner in the care of the home and family.

 

A good wife builds up/is supportive of her husband. She provides companionship, love and care. She encourages him in his achievements and pursuits, and encourages him to live up to his potential, not in a nagging or pressuring way, but in a supportive way that brings out the best in him.

 

A good wife doesn't promote or enable or support negative or destructive behavior in her husband, but rather supports him in what is good for him (such as not enabling an alcoholic husband, but encouraging a healthy lifestyle, just as an example.) A good wife makes a man a better person, and cares for his spirit, as well as his mind and body.

 

You hit the nail on the head, I completely agree!

[hayewils]

A wife is a mind reader who opens her arms to catch you just before you trip.

 

This would never happen.. I was in a car accident when we were engaged. It was lunch time, we were at work. we worked at the same company.

Anyway, I called her to tell her I was involved in an accident. I was run off the road by an 18 wheeler, hit a culvert and I thought I was going nose over.

I stayed on all four tires but jammed my knee and my truck was pretty twisted. Her response to me when I called her was, "What, do you want me to pick you up".

I sat there a minute thinking and told her no.

That was a sign that she didn't give a rats long tailed hairy azz that she really didn't care..

I had several situations that told me to get out before we got married, but I put everything off as my own insecurities, but it wasn't.. I was right all along. She's a non giving, non caring soulless, heartless be-otch!