How far is too FAR? Flirting with a married co-worker.

[ScottBW]

OK, this is as I know it my dilemma. First off I am about to turn 23. I have a female co-worker who is 36 years old, married with 4 kids. A little history on her is she is not in a very good marriage, her husband treats her badly and is verbally abusive. She has been wanting to get out of her relationship but has so far thus chose not to. They have a child under 1 year old, the others are 11, 15 and 17. Anyway we flirt non stop at work, she started this about a month ago and ever since it's been an ongoing thing. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it, because I do like her. We have an age gap, and that does not bother me, she is a very attractive mature woman, but at the same time I know her situation and I would Never do anything that would jeopardize her marriage. I am just curious how far is too far with flirting? Some times she will make a little sexual remark, mind you it seems pretty innocent, but nonetheless those types of remarks have been floating around between us. Sometimes we will leave little notes on each others time cards saying " Smile" with a happy face or something a long those lines. Is this too far with someone who is married? I know her being in a bad marriage is no excuse for this. I would like others opinions. Thanks

[tiki]

You are playing with fire. Rarely does anything good come of a situation like this. Leave her be. She needs to focus on her husband (and family) like a wife should. I'd imagine that if you want to keep your job, you probably shouldn't mix business with pleasure. I hope that you make the right choice.

[ScottBW]

Family owned business, im not worried about losing my job. Thanks for your input.

[reservoirdog1]

Have you ever witnessed her husband treating her badly or being verbally abusive?

 

I ask because if not, you're only going by what she's told you. People like her who are contemplating cheating, as she pretty clearly is, will say a lot of things to justify their actions, both to themselves and to those they are planning to cheat with. If you've never witnessed the abuse, then it's entirely possible that her husband is blissfully unaware of her intentions and thinks he's in a happy marriage.

 

Back it off with her. Nothing good can come of it (except maybe some sex), at least while she's still with him. If she leaves him, then that's one thing. But for the moment, keep your distance. Do you really want to be dragged into the middle -- or even be the cause -- of their messy marriage breakup?

[sampls123]

If l where you, go for the sex it would be great and she would like it to

[CurlyIam]

Yeah, then make your parents fire her when her husband comes knocking on your door demanding for explinations !!! Geez, speaking of irresponsible people !

[Karina]

I really don't see anything wrong with it. One thing you have to be aware of with woman in particular is that sometimes when they're going through problems they find a way out by trying to find a new way in. You get me. Kinda of like your situation. she's obviously having problems at home with her husband. And confides in you to tell you her problems. THOSE ARE BIG POINTS. Especially if she sees that she can no longer confide in her own partner and now found someone new to talk too. woman are very emotional (even when they don't like to admit it). THey like to feel safe, and thats what ur making her feel like. she wants this because she no longer has it at home. I went through this with my own marriage. But at the end realized that maybe it was worth giving anther chance. Now we're happier than ever. But that might not be the same issue with you. Find out first what she really and truly wants, let her know what you would like, and go on from there.

lol sorry if this doesn't make any seance, I'm try-in to type with my 2yr old on my lap.