theunknown Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 I dated someone for over 5 years, we broke up and soon after he started dating someone else. They have dated around 2 years, but this entire time, my ex and I remained extremely close. I have been diagnosed with cancer and am having surgery again. This time the outcome does not look promising. My friend knows this, and I have always thought of him as my best friend. Am I wrong for wanting him by my side along with my family on the day of surgery? He says that he wants to but can't because it will cause problems in his relationship. I don't understand? This is the same girl that he says he doesn't love nor tells her that. I am not asking him to be there for me as a boyfriend. He knows that. We have just always been able to depend on eachother for anything even advice on relationships. I just feel as if he has turned his back on me. Although, his current girlfriend and I have harsh feelings toward eachother (at one time we were friends), I can't imagine her not understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Bender donetat Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 my personal opinion....... You need to call his current GF and ask them BOTH to be there for you...this will kind of delete the rift that will prevent him from being there and give her and you a reason to make amends....you have a serious situation to deal with you need EVERYONE to be there for you...... Hope this works and helps......good luck, remember the body heals itself better than any medicine and your attitude makes all the difference, do not let it beat you and it wont! My mom went through cancer and fought like a bull that just got shot with a bb gun..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author theunknown Posted October 15, 2004 Author Share Posted October 15, 2004 Thanks so much for your advice. I would do that however, she will flip out if she knew we still discussed anything at all. I guess that goes back the fact that she absolutely can't stand me. You do have a good point, and maybe I should mention it to him, although, I know he will not want me to mention at all that we are even on speaking terms much less that we are as close as we are and talk almost everyday. Which makes me wonder what in the world he has been telling her... It doesn't matter, if he would be there, I could deal with the fact the she was there too. Link to post Share on other sites
dizi Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 I am very sorry about what you are going through. Being around people who care is very important to you right now, and you aren't wrong for wanting caring people around you... "He says that he wants to but can't because it will cause problems in his relationship." Even though he tells you that he doesn't love her, he still cares about her to the point of not wanting to jeopardize their relationship. But Bender has a wonderful point in that you should ask them both to come. (I was going to say it, but bender beat me to it My fiance had a horrible time with the fact that I was friends with exes or even friends with guys I'd known for years. I ended those relationships completely. She may be resentful that he hasn't ended the friendship he has with you, especially since the two of you have "harsh feelings toward each other". Hopefully asking her to be there as well will give you both a chance to make amends. I truly hope this works for you or that you find the advice you are seeking... And bender is right that having a positive attitude can help A LOT in your healing... take care...!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dizi Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 oops, looks like I was too late Link to post Share on other sites
Author theunknown Posted October 15, 2004 Author Share Posted October 15, 2004 Thanks so much! I will call today and let you know. Link to post Share on other sites
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