"Come Over Anytime" - Worries about too much time?

[SER]

I know I'm probably over thinking this, but I think I just need some reassurance.

 

My boyfriend gave me a key to his apartment a few weeks ago and said to come over any time and that I'm always welcome. Sometimes when we're together he jokingly says to stay forever and it's really sweet. And this morning when we were leaving his place to both go to work, he said "see you whenever you feel like coming over!"

 

I know he had the issue of not being sure if I was completely into him when we had the mishap a few weeks ago, and I'm also not sure that if I don't go over enough that he'll still feel like I'm not as invested in this relationship as I should be. It's not that I don't want to see him all the time, I would love to, but I don't want him to get tired of me.

 

My worry is that I don't want to intrude on his lifestyle or just come over and be like "I'm here!" and him get tired of seeing me. I'm sure this might be an unreasonable worry, but it's one that I have.

 

I wouldn't mind seeing him all the time and I'm not sure exactly what this worry that I have stems from, because I certainly never had a problem seeing either of my exes all the time. Pretty much every day. Currently we see each other maybe 4 times a week when I go over on the weekend or a couple of times after work during the week.

 

So for the guys - if you told your girlfriend that you don't mind them coming over any time after having given them a key, is that just to be nice or do you really mean come over any time?

[BradJacobs]

In your case I'd expect this to mean that you have unlimited access to his time away from work. He wants to be with you more and he trusts you with the keys to his place.

 

If it's too much then more than likely he'll say something.

[Eternal Sunshine]

This happened to me few weeks before my ex asked me to move in.

[SER]

Thanks Brad, I'll just see if he says anything.

 

ES - good to know!

[white]

He means any time. He's probably hoping to find you there after work sometimes.

[happywithlife]

How long have you been dating? If you've been together for a while, then don't worry. But, if it's only been a few weeks, then worry.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I would feel weird about that. Because anytime really is SO vague.

 

 

Even when I had a key, he would ask when I'll be "home" [talk about adorable] and that was when I knew I should head over. I don't think I ever just showed up without him asking when I would be there.

Then again, I always went home after work to feed the cats and what-not, and him wanting me there all the time made it so as soon as he was home he would call to make sure i was coming over.

This was about a month or two in btw.

 

Unless you know his schedule, I think I would want to know specifics still. I think it is the gesture of giving you a key that shows he is more serious. I wouldn't just invite myself over JUST yet though.

[SER]

happywithlife - We've been dating for 6 months.

 

Jaclyn - That's kind of where I'm at, it's pretty vague indeed. I do know his schedule, he has basically the same work hours that I do. I have pets too (like you), so I have to make sure I go home to feed them before I go to his place every time. I do still feel really strange just going over, so each time I've just told him right before I'm going over that I'll be there, just in case.

 

This is also moving at a different pace than previous relationships (not in a bad way at all) and with the tables turned - I've always been the one with the apartment or house to go to. It's a bit of an adjustment, so I guess that adds on to the uncertainty of it for me.

[miss_jaclynrae]

happywithlife - We've been dating for 6 months.

 

Jaclyn - That's kind of where I'm at, it's pretty vague indeed. I do know his schedule, he has basically the same work hours that I do. I have pets too (like you), so I have to make sure I go home to feed them before I go to his place every time. I do still feel really strange just going over, so each time I've just told him right before I'm going over that I'll be there, just in case.

 

This is also moving at a different pace than previous relationships (not in a bad way at all) and with the tables turned - I've always been the one with the apartment or house to go to. It's a bit of an adjustment, so I guess that adds on to the uncertainty of it for me.

 

Seriously, it was the exact same with me. I was always the one who's place they came over too. I never gave ANYONE a key though.

Sometimes things work out and they work out at a pace that isn't always expected.