thr1986 Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 I just got out of a year long relationship with a girl who's MO was monogamy. She had claimed to be cheated on terribly in a previous relationship and she made it her main "thing" since I first met her how honest and loyal she is. She was the type of girl who loved attention though and was always trying to get it from anyone she was around, which I thought could be a but contradictory. But, I trusted her and wa ways loyal to her. Her boss at work was the type that was always hitting on everyone. Although married, you could tell he probably cheated on his wife when he could. Long story short, I broke up with her about 6 weeks ago because deep down I just didn't trust her and j caught her lieing about a lot of little things that made me wonder where the lies would stop... I now found out she was in fact sleeping with her boss. The weird thing is that she was VERY jealous of any girl Friends I had. I have a lot of friends that are girls but not that I have ever been romantic with. She was always asking about my relationships with them and I could tell that she always questioned my involvement with all my girl friends. She would always bring it up in conversion if I "liked" any girls pictures on Facebook, stuff like that. She admitted that jealousy was an insecurity she struggled with because of her previous relationship. Why would she fly this flag of monogamy, introduce herself to me as that beig her main character trait, act jealous of girls in my life, and then her be the one cheating in the first place!!!? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Use your energy and focus on anything other than her. It's not relevant to your life why, she's out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Share Posted June 24, 2013 I know, but its just so frustrating. I'm genuinely a loyal guy. When I date someone I truly just want them, to me it's fulfilling and satisfying to be loyal to someone. And that's what I want, honest monogamy. I'm 26, young professional, hard working and attractive. This is the second girl who has done something like this to me. I think her manipulative type senses an aspect of vuneralibility or neieveness. I just feel so stupid, so embarrised and stupid. Like I did everything rigt, was honest and then I'm the laughing stock. It makes me feel hopeless, I just want someone like me. God love and life can be really defeating sometines Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 Early on you identified her need for attention, apparently excessive and from anyone. I'd recommend you think differently about this as no way were you a fool. It's takes some exposure to and consequences from interraction w partners who have personality/character flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
reardear Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Psychological projection. She's attributing her habits to you and is worried about you cheating since she knows how easy it is to do. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I dont know.....why she behaved the way she did..........my ex also said to me that he was into a monogamous committed relationship....said everything i wanted to hear........i believe actions speak louder than words........and maybe he meant he wanted a monogamous partner who waited at home for him when he wanted to be there......i need to tell a guy once.....just once that si what i want......i dont need to repeat it, the rest is up to them........i trust who i date because normally i have gotten to know them first......and i am trustworthy so even though i hav ebeen cheated on...i believe there are guys who like me are trustworthy....... there's an old adage about the lady doth protest too much might be lady macbeth ...i think its shakespeare....i think when people repeat things said over and over....they are trying to convince themselves they are this way as much as they are trying to convince the person they are saying it too...thats my opinion..may not be true in every case.......have you found this????.deb. Link to post Share on other sites
WearyWanderer Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Monogamy exists, I've never cheated. I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't let her ruin your hope though. Just because she's a liar doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there who will be true to you. I know it's nearly impossible to think of being with someone new, but it will happen. You survived before her, and you'll survive after her. The point is to learn from this. Were there any red flags? (Other than her unwarranted jealousy) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I dont see what u have to feel stupid about. In response to the behaviour of the girl, which u correctly interpreted as "this girl is not trustworthy", u dump the girl. Weeks later yr instincts were shown to be spot on. Listen. No one can control the actions of another. She chose to do what she did and she would very very likely have ****ed her boss no matter who her bf was. Hard times sure. But this one is on her mate. Bullet soundly dodged. Link to post Share on other sites
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