Rock star boyfriends

[gwennebe]

I need encouragement before I drive myself bonkers again!! The story is I was dating a guy for a short time period. We didnt' get to spend that much time together to really get to know each other but we had a great connection and the way we met was so strange it felt like we were destined to meet. I'm not saying because we were meant to be a couple but at least good friends or something....

 

Anyway, so things were tense the last time I saw him before the "break up" which wasn't a break up and I will get to that. What I mean by tense is just plain akward. So back to the break up. I never heard from him again. I had heard he moved out of state and I figure ok well we were not really serious so fine. I still thought about him a lot though.

 

So a month and a half go by and I decided last weekend to go to my favorite bar and listen to a band play. Of course as soon as I walk in I see him there. I basically just stopped cold and went to turn around and run out because I was in shock. Well his friends kind of cornered me and then he came up and gave me a huge hug and told me he did move out of state and was back in for the weekend and would be coming back this week for good. He apologized for not contacting me about leaving but after he explained why it did make sense and I was cool about it which he was happy about because he had said he wanted to talk to me but was afraid I was going to flip out on him. He said he felt like a huge jerk for doing it.

 

So after talking awhile he asked me if we could please try one more time and I agreed and we had a great time that night. I took him to the airport the next morning and he even left his truck at my house and gave me a book to read. I also forgot to mention that he had spent time with his ex last weekend. They were together for 4 years and from what i've heard not a very healthy relationship. Mental and verbal abuse on her part and of course he is a musician so he doesn't exactly live a normal lifestyle. I know he still loves her and I understand that much and why he does. She told him she wanted to work things out but from what he told me she was still up to her old ways and he couldn't take it.

 

So I leave thinking he'll get in touch with me the day he gets back which was yesterday and he finally picked his truck up today while I was at work. I still haven't heard from him and he doesn't have a cell phone and his mom just had surgery two days ago so I'm sure he might be spending time with his family but i'm still worried to death that I'm going to get stomped on emotionally again by this guy. One good thing though, he did add me to his buddy list and now I have his email and this had to have been in the last 2 days so it looks like he is thinking about me at least I'm just used to people at least giving me a quick 2 minute phone call to let me know what's going on.

 

He has a show on Saturday and I don't know what to do. I would feel strange showing up if I haven't even heard from him by then. I'm driving my self crazy overanalyzing everything because I'm really into him and he's so hard to keep still if you know what I mean. Constantly running playing gigs and stuff. I know this is all drawn out and long and a bunch of rambling but I've been up since 3:00 AM and can't get back to sleep and I need to get all of this off my chest or something. I'm so afraid I was just being used. Is it possible my bull crap radar was down because I like him so much and find him so interesting? UGHHH.

 

I guess I should give it another day or so and see if he contactsme and I know I'm jumping the gun here but it is so hard when you like somone so much and they just don't have time for you or don't make time. I think I need to get that book everyone is talking about "He's not into you " or something like that and read it and then decide how I feel.

 

Sorry for rambling but thanks for listening to my drama yet again.

[overseas2004]

I am so sick of that book and I haven't even read it. Its everybody's answer to everything today. Gets on my nerves.

 

Hon there is nothing to overanalyze here. He hasnt called you because he is not serious about what he said. If someone wanted to try again and was serious and adult about it wouldnt you have heard from him every day? I mean I know he is going through some family problems as you mentioned but c'mon.... If you were him with your feelings would anything be able to stop you.

 

This is what I suggest.... make yourself feel better... Call him or even better yet find out where he is or go to that bar where he is going to play and just confront him. Dont make it nasty... be nice... ask why he didn't call? Tell him that you expected him to since he said he wanted to try again. And ask him for a logical explanation without being pushy.

 

Practice it in the mirror before you go.

 

The reason I suggest you do this is because all this not knowing is tearing you up inside. I want you to get it out of your system.. See him for the jerk he is and move on....

 

Love

 

Overseas

[Stellar]

Originally posted by gwennebe

I'm driving my self crazy overanalyzing everything because I'm really into him

Very common thought process(es) and that's what p!sses me off about not knowing where you stand, especially when you're really into them. I know it's easy for some people to say that you shouldn't worry about it, he wasn't worth it, blah blah blah, but as an analytical-type person (one of my friends nicknamed me Big Ben...tick, tick, tick) you just can't bloody not run scenarios through your head! I am an answers girl. I'm a common courtesy girl. If there was a relationship version of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire', perhaps, 'Who Wants to be in Limbo Yeah?', I would walk away with the million every time, simply for the fact that I can come up with a possible answer for every situation. Analysing is very normal when you just have no idea what's going on. I know MANY people who do it.

 

Originally posted by gwennebe I'm so afraid I was just being used. Is it possible my bull crap radar was down because I like him so much and find him so interesting? UGHHH.

Are you residing in some little air pocket in my brain, because I was thinking the exact same thing today The guy I know is the same guy everyone else knows - what you see is what you get - but I'm thinking that ma

 

Originally posted by gwennebe but it is so hard when you like somone so much and they just don't have time for you or don't make time.

Tell me about it. I'm fairly aloof towards him too, so I guess that hasn't helped matters much.

 

Originally posted by gwennebe I think I need to get that book everyone is talking about "He's not into you " or something like that and read it and then decide how I feel.

*sigh* Yeah. Me too.

 

I wish I could be more objective, but we're pretty much living the same situation at the moment. Sorry!

[Stellar]

Originally posted by Stellar

Are you residing in some little air pocket in my brain, because I was thinking the exact same thing today The guy I know is the same guy everyone else knows - what you see is what you get - but I'm thinking that ma

I'm thinking that maybe I lost my train of thought there....

[gwennebe]

Well I finally got like and hour more of sleep last night and now I"m ready for a long day but at least it's Friday. I'm going to try to just relax tonight and get some sleep and not think about him and tomorrow I think I will play it by ear and see how Vixen like I'm feeling and then decide if I want to go to his show or not. Maybe I"ll take a couple guy friends with me.

 

I agree with Oversees I'm thinking he wasn't serious about what he said about getting back together. From what I do know of him he seems to be the fly by the seat of your pants kind of guy and says what he's feeling at the time and doesn't think about the consequences. Of course I could be jumping to conclusions. He may have wanted to spend time with his mom last night which of course I would hope he would do.

 

I'll let you guys know if I hear from him this weekend. Thanks for the support.

[Weird]

guy sounds like he can be a bastard and does sound like he was jerking you around. Watch, he will call you soon and come up with some "oh sorry I didn't call earlier. I was bsuy" which yyou will know is complete crap.

 

Hopefully you can stop thinking/over analyzing the situation. I know it is tough because I have problems with pover analyzing things:)

[awful_lying_girl]

Oh, gah! I know where you are coming from exactly! My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is that way. He can be the the sorriest ass ever when it comes to him and his band, but when it's us hangin out it's the best.

 

His band is his life and he had that before he had me. It's just the way it is. I wouldn't tell him stop playing, or don't go practice, or whatever. He did that whole not call sometimes thing too. It sucks a lot. It was always when he was writing a new song or recording. But, he always came around. I would say, "Can't you take out 2 mins and call me?" I got over it. Not really, but I knew that's just the way he was.

 

Go to the show. I know he would be glad to see you. Go really cute, but not too played up. Take some friends - guy and gals because you dont want him to think you are slutty. Also, you don't want him to think you are that easy to get back either.

 

If he gives good vibes then that's awesome - if not, you always have your pals there to lean on for support. Don't go yelling like where you've been and stuff, because that is a sure way to not see him. Just let him know you are there for him and stuff.

 

See how it goes. Good luck!!

[gwennebe]

Well I ended up going last night to the show. My cousin and my friend went with me and he was obvious he wasn't happy I was there. My cousin talked to him. He can be very intimidating he's big and on active duty in the Marines. He basically told my cousin he was sorry if I was upset and he wants a girlfriend and wants me to be his girlfriend cause he thinks I'm great and blah blah blah but just doesn't have time now.

 

That means he lied to me to sleep with me last weekend. I also found out he had a kid and he never bothered to inform me of this so I'm not thinking this is my loss anymore it's his. He's crazy and if I ever run into him again I am running right back out the door!!!!!!!! Thank you to everyone for posting and I happy to walk away from this situation feeling positive that I learned a very valuable lesson.