Should I text my ex girlfriend after 2 months of NC?

[Ctown3715]

So me and my ex girlfriend dated for 1.5 years. The last month of the relationship she did a total 180 and just seemed to hate me. Her attitude towards me was just shocking. She then blocked my number and facebook. I saw her 2 weeks later and she’s dating a guy who is 30 and she is 21. I assumed that she dumped me for this guy but the girls who are friends with her and I keep telling me different.

 

For instance, one of our mutual friends 2 days ago hit me upside the head after I was talking to a random girl at a bar and got her number. I asked her why she hit me and she said because I’m an ahole. I say give me one reason and she said that I think my ex left me for another guy (that was random since I haven’t said anything about my ex in 2 months. So her saying that is kind of shocking and I don't know if that was discussed with my ex recently. I just don't know what compelled my friend to say that.) SO she may have not left me for someone else. They are about 3.5 months into the relationship.

 

The odd part was my ex contacted me a few times throughout the first few months of the break up. She called me to catch up, then unblocked my facebook to message me good luck on an exam and then sent me a text saying it’s weird to her that she doesn’t know when she will see me again (I was graduating). But I text her the next day and she basically tells me she doesn’t want to talk to me and blocked me for a reason. I exploded on her and went to No Contact for the last 2 months. I blocked her phone number and facebook the last 4 weeks, so I have no idea if she has tried to text me…..

 

So I was wondering, do you think I should send a text just saying I want to leave things on a good note between us and hope all is well with her?....Since the break up, my life has improved immensely and our mutual friend just said she’s never seen me this happy before. Since the break up about 3-4 months ago, I’ve passed an engineering licensing exam, found a well paying job with a company that I love, and I’m having so much fun. My former roommate came to visit and said my weekends are like vacations.

 

I’m also closer to my friends. So long story short, I’ve really improved since the break up and my life has been awesome (but I still miss her). But do you think its OK to send a text like that after 2 months of no contact? The break up was messy considering she did it on the phone and she would be hot one day and cold with me the next.

Edited June 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Chi townD]

Nope! I wouldn't. Why? What's it going to do? What's it going to solve? What's it going to change? Absolutely nothing.

 

I still don't know why your friend hit you upside the head because you got some girls number. I mean, big deal! You have a right to move on with your life. And if she smacked you because you believe that she left you for another guy? Well, she did! I mean, if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck.......

[Ctown3715]

Most people thinks she left me for another guy and I think she did. But it's weird that the ones close to the situation keep saying she didnt. It's just odd that she would hit me upside the head and bring up that situation with my ex. Like I have no idea how long she's been holding that situation (me thinking she left me for another, eventhough he is 30, shes 21 and im 22) in or she may have recently discussed it with my ex.

[HopelessRomantick]

Why would you want to make yourself vulnerable again?

 

Heartache sucks! Don't do it.

[aloneinaz]

Your life in your words is on a roll. Why drag it down by contacting someone who didn't want you in her life anymore? That's nuts!

 

Keep your momentium going by finding a new girl friend who does want to be with you. Don't give the ex the satisfaction of the attention to boost her ego (Yea, she'll say to her friend, he's still not over me and still contacting me). Screw that noise.

[Chi townD]

Seems to me that her and her closest friends are more concerned about how you feel about her leaving you for another guy and, also, their need to have you believe that isn't the case.

 

Funny how this is their main concern and NOT how the break up affected you, how much pain you're in, how sad and hurt you were when it all went down.

 

Weird huh...

[Ctown3715]

Seems to me that her and her closest friends are more concerned about how you feel about her leaving you for another guy and, also, their need to have you believe that isn't the case.

 

Funny how this is their main concern and NOT how the break up affected you, how much pain you're in, how sad and hurt you were when it all went down.

 

Weird huh...

 

Why would my ex care on the reason why i think she left? Plus her close friend was my friend first and is my current roommates gf. Her and I are really close friends.

[Chi townD]

Why would my ex care on the reason why i think she left? Plus her close friend was my friend first and is my current roommates gf. Her and I are really close friends.

 

 

Because MOST girls can't stand the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they're not a nice person. Drives them nuts.

 

If you believe that she left you for someone else (which, I believe she did) then that's good enough reason to hate someone or think them not a nice person. She would rather you believe that the relationship either ended because of things that you did or didn't do. Or that the relationship died of natural causes! "No hard feelings! Oh!, and this other dude isn't the reason why we broke up...."

[Ctown3715]

I believe you're right. But what's it matter what I think? She left me. She shouldn't care....

[Chi townD]

Men have been trying to figure women out for centuries and we're still lost.

 

She cares on how you perceive her. She needs to know that you don't hate her or not think she's a bad person. And maybe she's not, but it doesn't change the fact that she did a bad thing.

 

Look, I'm just telling you what I know; as crazy as it may seem. It is what it is. And what I do know, and it's getting pretty obvious, the guilt is starting to get to her if she still talking to her friends about it.

 

If she wasn't guilty, then she wouldn't have given a rats ass how you felt about it, it would have been your problem, not hers. But, if she's this adamant, then she's feeling guilty. Sooner or later, she's probably going to reach out to you. See where your head is at. Test the waters.

 

Stay NC.

[sprucegoose]

Since you still miss her, I suggest not contacting her. If you are indeed having the time of your life, you wouldn't be missing her. You're doing so well at 2 months NC. Why waste all that effort just so you can stay in good terms with her? The only time it would be worth it is if you're 100% sure you're getting back together....but from your post, that doesn't seem likely.

[Inviv_girl]

You are only 22, dude you have a loooong way to go on life and relationships. And with the fact that after your break up you have an awesome life you should go on with it. Contacting your ex will not make you feel more awesome. You miss her, I get it but she doesn't miss you as she has someone else now already, and contact her after 2 months NC is not gonna change anything, It will only drives you the feeling on the very first day you broke up with her, and that feeling is not awesome

[Ctown3715]

I guess you all are right. My life has been going well and I know for a fact our mutual friend is telling my ex how well I'm doing. So I guess I'm going to keep moving forward. My friends and I just booked a trip to Vegas so ya life keeps getting better.

[Ctown3715]

Regarding our mutual friend who brought up that I'm an ahole because I thought my ex left me for someone else. Should I tell her my thoughts on that shouldn't matter to anyone and if my ex is the one concerned about it, we can discuss it?