spice4life Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 XMM broke contact and I finally gave in and told him not to contact me unless he is free to hang like normal people do. I think he finally got it, but I think he also thinks we can be friends. I hope I'm not forced to tell him that it's not possible because how we were invlved. I just want to leave this all behind me and move on aleady. The good news is that he is gone for a couple of weeks and I'm leaving to go on vacation for two weeks right before he gets back with no way to be in contact...hence the title "some peace finally." I will have a good four weeks without any worries thank goodness! You know, it's funny because I actually hope he and his wife really bond on their vacation, so I no longer have to worry about him trying to make me a part of "their" equation. I mean seriously...just mend already or call it a freakin day and divorce. Quit looking for unhealthy distractions...ya know? Enough is enough; leave me the freak out it. Anyway, I don't know if I'm looking for any advice. I just needed to vent. I know I allowed him to break NC, but I did it to make my point clear. He can't hang out with me while he's playing Mr. Married Guy like all is right in the world. I'm so done with that. He did try to skirt around the elephant in the room, but I kept blatantly bringing it up. I was having none of it...BTDT and have no desire to go back to that ever again. So glad I have four weeks of peace of mind. Thanks for reading. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 XMM broke contact and I finally gave in and told him not to contact me unless he is free to hang like normal people do. I think he finally got it, but I think he also thinks we can be friends. I hope I'm not forced to tell him that it's not possible because how we were invlved. I just want to leave this all behind me and move on aleady. The good news is that he is gone for a couple of weeks and I'm leaving to go on vacation for two weeks right before he gets back with no way to be in contact...hence the title "some peace finally." I will have a good four weeks without any worries thank goodness! You know, it's funny because I actually hope he and his wife really bond on their vacation, so I no longer have to worry about him trying to make me a part of "their" equation. I mean seriously...just mend already or call it a freakin day and divorce. Quit looking for unhealthy distractions...ya know? Enough is enough; leave me the freak out it. Anyway, I don't know if I'm looking for any advice. I just needed to vent. I know I allowed him to break NC, but I did it to make my point clear. He can't hang out with me while he's playing Mr. Married Guy like all is right in the world. I'm so done with that. He did try to skirt around the elephant in the room, but I kept blatantly bringing it up. I was having none of it...BTDT and have no desire to go back to that ever again. So glad I have four weeks of peace of mind. Thanks for reading. How long had it been since you talked to him last? I don't consider your conversation a 'weak breaking no contact' type of thing. You said what you needed to say. If anything, that helps with closure and knowing that you communicated your feelings clearly. By the way, I bolded my favorite part of your post I know what you're saying. Show me that you are a normal, rational human being and you can see that 'being friends' is not possible and that you realize that you can't have your cake and eat it too. I had that moment too when I decided I wanted no part in their marital drama. I felt like the fuel that kept their crazy, unhealthy crap going. She finds something, he denies/minimizes/admits...hellish event proceed to happen. And then repeat over and over. She hates him. loves him, wants to kill him, wants to have sex with him...as you said "enough is enough, leave me the freak out of it!" Anyways, hope you're going somewhere fun for your vacation and you get a lot of mental peace. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 As Praying4Peace said, it wasn't a breach on your part, and it gave you a reason to tell him you're done with his crap. Kudos! I hope he leaves you alone after those quiet 4 weeks, and that the next time you're in a relationship, it will be a much healthier one. Have a good time on your vacation! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spice4life Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 How long had it been since you talked to him last? I don't consider your conversation a 'weak breaking no contact' type of thing. You said what you needed to say. If anything, that helps with closure and knowing that you communicated your feelings clearly. By the way, I bolded my favorite part of your post I know what you're saying. Show me that you are a normal, rational human being and you can see that 'being friends' is not possible and that you realize that you can't have your cake and eat it too. I had that moment too when I decided I wanted no part in their marital drama. I felt like the fuel that kept their crazy, unhealthy crap going. She finds something, he denies/minimizes/admits...hellish event proceed to happen. And then repeat over and over. She hates him. loves him, wants to kill him, wants to have sex with him...as you said "enough is enough, leave me the freak out of it!" Anyways, hope you're going somewhere fun for your vacation and you get a lot of mental peace. It had been a little over a month since we talked. Then, as I'm starting to feel like I'm finally letting go he starts sending texts. Isn't that always the way?! the part in bold is exactly how I was feeling too! I don't know anything about their relationship, but my gut told me it was very much like you describe. Ugh...I want no part of that...at all. I almost told him to "man up" and stop the nonsense because it's unattractive, but I stopped myself. I think I made it clear it was what I was thinking though. As for my vacation, I'm going on a trip down memory lane of sorts to visit the places I lived as a kid in Europe. I can't wait! Thank you for the support! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spice4life Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 As Praying4Peace said, it wasn't a breach on your part, and it gave you a reason to tell him you're done with his crap. Kudos! I hope he leaves you alone after those quiet 4 weeks, and that the next time you're in a relationship, it will be a much healthier one. Have a good time on your vacation! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, RebelDynasty. I'm really looking forward to the peace of mind of not havng to worry about him breaking NC. I'm sooo looking forward to having a much healthier relationship with someone who is free and available in the future. Thanks again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Not a problem. ^_^ Have a good time! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) WoW, the memories came flooding back reading your post Spice and Praying4 Peaces too. It still freaks me out how similar our A's can be, I got the let's be friends quote too. It was just his way of keeping me around, in case he wanted something from me. Spice, you definitly sound ready to get on with your life and put this A in your rearview mirror. You will, I'm so happy for you, because, it can only get better! P4P,You know, it's funny because I actually hope he and his wife really bond on their vacation, so I no longer have to worry about him trying to make me a part of "their" equation. I mean seriously...just mend already or call it a freakin day and divorce. Quit looking for unhealthy distractions...ya know? Enough is enough; leave me the freak out it. I used to think the same way Praying. I do take responsibility for my choices in the A. Little did I realise how gullible I was to become involved in someone elses drama. It sucked. I didn't want to hear negative nonsense about his W or their relationship. Now, I can say it is firmly behind me.Feels good too. Edited June 25, 2013 by skywriter Link to post Share on other sites
Sooverhim Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 XMM broke contact and I finally gave in and told him not to contact me unless he is free to hang like normal people do. I think he finally got it, but I think he also thinks we can be friends. I hope I'm not forced to tell him that it's not possible because how we were invlved. I just want to leave this all behind me and move on aleady. The good news is that he is gone for a couple of weeks and I'm leaving to go on vacation for two weeks right before he gets back with no way to be in contact...hence the title "some peace finally." I will have a good four weeks without any worries thank goodness! You know, it's funny because I actually hope he and his wife really bond on their vacation, so I no longer have to worry about him trying to make me a part of "their" equation. I mean seriously...just mend already or call it a freakin day and divorce. Quit looking for unhealthy distractions...ya know? Enough is enough; leave me the freak out it. Anyway, I don't know if I'm looking for any advice. I just needed to vent. I know I allowed him to break NC, but I did it to make my point clear. He can't hang out with me while he's playing Mr. Married Guy like all is right in the world. I'm so done with that. He did try to skirt around the elephant in the room, but I kept blatantly bringing it up. I was having none of it...BTDT and have no desire to go back to that ever again. So glad I have four weeks of peace of mind. Thanks for reading. Spice, I completely understand where you are coming from about the whole vacation thing. On the one hand it hurts to think of him having a lovely time on holiday with his wife, but on the other it's a weight off your shoulders, you have distance from him to get your head straight and see things clearly without being on the emotional merry-go-round. And it's reality, him being Mr Married like you said doing happily ever after stuff with his wife. Like I said in my post on another thread, knowing that for me gave me the momentum to get out, it destroys the fantasy, it shows you where he is, where he belongs, where he wants to be and how jolly nice it all is for him! Have a great time on your own holiday, it sounds fantastic! Link to post Share on other sites
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