cubic zirconia engagement ring, should it bother me?

[Stinkerbelle]

If it was me, I'd rather have no engagement ring at all.

 

Alternately, a pearl ring, or a less expensive stone. CZ's are like toupees. They feel fake. I'd rather have nothing, or something simpler, than something not real.

[indigo_moon]

I think it's tacky that he bought you a fake.....and based on how much he paid for it, he got supremely ripped off...that's a whopping price to pay for a measly CZ.

 

For $1000, he could have got you a nice real diamond ring, though it obviously wouldn't have been 1 carat.

 

I would never want to wear a fake diamond, not ever. I would hope the man I marry again would think enough of me not to try and pass off a CZ as a diamond.

 

If money was an issue and he couldn't afford a diamond, there's many other beautiful genuine stones out there.....

 

Is your guy bad with his money? What ages are you? Is he cheap in other ways? Most intelligent men know that a CZ isn't going to cut it. My God, this is something you're to have the rest of your married life.........it's supposed to be a once in a lifetime symbol of love...........I'd be miffed, too. Though what you can do about it now I don't know. Guess you're just going to have to suck it up and get past it. The most important thing is that you're engaged and going to be married...........try to focus on that and your future together - make the most of it.

[billybadass36]

I fully expect each and every one of you ladies that thinks a CZ is "tacky" or unacceptable to go out and blow the exact same amount of cash on your "fiance", your supposed "soulmate", that you expect him to spend on a bauble, a trinket, a status symbol, for you. This is ridiculous. How about we skip the middle-man: just go out and buy your own engagement ring, and hold onto it until your man proposes to you, and then you can just put your ring on and he can go out and buy a $5k watch for himself? If some of you would just take a minute to analyze yourself, you's see how trite, superficial, and shallow you are.

 

For the record, I just bought a one carat Canadian, conflict-free, diamond. It's nice, and I like how it looks. Had I not been able to afford a one carat diamond, I'd have bought a CZ. Why? Because I like the way the one carat round diamond looks. Not too big...not too small. That's it. You can't tell the difference yourself, and ALL CZ's are colorless and have no inclusions. CZ isn't "tacky". Being a materialistic, shallow, ungrateful person to the man who is pledging his life, his love, and his support to you for the rest of your life is, however, very tacky.

[bicyclejunk]

Even Me, A guy who doesn't make tons of money,

dished out the cash for an engagement ring around 400 bucks.

Because even though I didn't have enough to spend, I still wanted

my girl to have a diamond. It didn't matter if it was huge, I wanted her

to have a nice little cute Diamond for our engagement, then, As I saved

up i'd buy her a wedding ring. I know it shouldn't matter if it's a diamond or not,

But it mattered to me, plus, I felt better about it.

 

I wanted My girl to at LEAST have a diamond. Cubic Zirc is like buying a 25 cent

ring out of a machine. I see Cubic Vircs at Mervyn's and Target and even K-Mart.

That's sooo tacky. And then to Lie about the fact that he'd never buy you one,

That sucks. I also don't understand dudes, who ask girls to marry them, without

a ring. Come On, if you're gonna ask, prepare, make that commitment, make it

fun and official. "But I wanna get her something she'd like, how will I know, what

she likes? We should shop for it together"....Buy her something you think she might like,

something affordable(a real diamond) that won't break you, then Buy her a nice ring when

the wedding gets close. Surprise her. Be romantic. Not a Cheap ass bastard.

[HokeyReligions]

I have various pieces of jewelry with diamonds and mossanite and CZ's. The CZ's are georgous! I am as proud to wear them as I am to wear my diamonds. The jewelry was given as a gift of love and I do not put a value on love. I don't think he loves me more by buying me a Ruby instead of a red CZ; or a diamond vs. CZ.

 

My rings, earrings, and necklaces, including the CZs are set in solid gold or platinum and are of excellent quality. By purchasing the less expensive stones I have a greater variety of jewelry to wear. My wedding ring is in 14k yellow gold (my favorite metal) but I have a white gold CZ set that I wear when I'm wearing silver jewelry.

 

I wore a CZ wedding ring for years because of finances -- I couldn't see spending $$$ on a ring for me to flash around when I would rather use the money for a house, or vacation, or something we could both enjoy. I know people who have put off buying a house because they chose a ring instead. In our case my husband wanted me to have a symbol of our marriage (so that myself, and others who saw me, would know someone loved me) and we couldn't afford much at the time.

 

It depends on what is important to the individual. A lot of men are more about quantity than quality and like the look of a larger stone or ring---presentation is important. And its an ego boost to see your girl sporting a ginormous diamond! A lot of women are like that too---like I said, I have jewelry in both diamonds and CZs. I had been married over 15 years when I was able to have my wedding ring reset and added a large diamond---I allowed myself the luxury. But it would not have broken my heart to never own a genuine diamond.

 

Symbolism is all well and good, but its still just symbolism.

[batitm]

I understand where you're coming from. It depends on how much he makes, what does he spend on himself (expensive car, entertainment)? It is possible he didn't have a clue that it would make such a big difference to you. I'm sure if he had it to do over again he would get a diamond, even if it had to be smaller. I for one would not settle for CZ. My bf makes a fair amount and has no problem dishing it out for his own toys so I expect he'll do the same for me should that time come.

[sweetey147]

If he loves you enough to ask you to marry him and spend the rest of your life when him, it shouldn't really bother you.....in my opinion (NO OFFENSE HERE) it seems that you were being kinda selfish (only thinking about yourself and what kinda ring YOU want) but maybe that's all he can deal with right now?) yes i like REAL pretty rings, but HELLO and WAKE UP? This guy is asking you to marry him? who cares about the ring! you better be lucky he's staying with you.....I know it hurt his feelings!

[indigo_moon]

Originally posted by billybadass36

I fully expect each and every one of you ladies that thinks a CZ is "tacky" or unacceptable to go out and blow the exact same amount of cash on your "fiance", your supposed "soulmate", that you expect him to spend on a bauble, a trinket, a status symbol, for you. This is ridiculous. How about we skip the middle-man: just go out and buy your own engagement ring, and hold onto it until your man proposes to you, and then you can just put your ring on and he can go out and buy a $5k watch for himself? If some of you would just take a minute to analyze yourself, you's see how trite, superficial, and shallow you are.

 

For the record, I just bought a one carat Canadian, conflict-free, diamond. It's nice, and I like how it looks. Had I not been able to afford a one carat diamond, I'd have bought a CZ. Why? Because I like the way the one carat round diamond looks. Not too big...not too small. That's it. You can't tell the difference yourself, and ALL CZ's are colorless and have no inclusions. CZ isn't "tacky". Being a materialistic, shallow, ungrateful person to the man who is pledging his life, his love, and his support to you for the rest of your life is, however, very tacky.

 

What a hypocrite! LOL Why did you buy a diamond if a CZ would have been as good? Surely it wasn't because you had a hole burning in your pocket. Talk about a walking contradiction - I'm cracking up here.

[billybadass36]

Why don't you do yourself a favor and read the rest of my post:

 

"Had I not been able to afford a one carat diamond, I'd have bought a CZ. Why? Because I like the way the one carat [stone] looks."

 

There's nothing hypocritical in what I wrote. You women line up to berate a (presumably) young man who promised a lifetime of love, support, and affection to a woman because he bought her an admittedly nice looking piece of jewelry. He was obviously embarrassed by his budget limiting his selection to a diamond simulant rather than the real thing. Knowing that a somewhat shallow, materialistic woman was what he was getting in the bargain, he lied to her about it. He lied about it because he knew she wouldn't understand that not everyone can afford a diamond of decent or what he thought were attractive proportions.

 

Again, yes, I bought a diamond, but I'm FORTUNATE ENOUGH in my financial situation to be able to buy a real diamond in the size range I find visually appealing. Five years ago it would have been a different story altogether. There's nothing hypocritical in my saying that "[h]ad I not been able to afford a one carat diamond, I'd have bought a CZ."

 

These days when the media bombards us with photos and stats of all the various celebrities' engagement rings, and ruthless, monopolistic deBeers' advertising campaign making everybody [in my section of America anyway] believe that a "one carat diamond engagement ring" is the MINIMUM acceptable carat weight for an engagement ring, it makes sense to someone on a limited budget to buy a 6.5mm CZ, moissonite, or another simulant. If the fiance' who accepted the proposal has a problem with that, then the problem lies with her, not the man doing the proposing. He obviously did his best within his budget to buy an engagement ring that he thought his betrothed would appreciate. $1,000 for a piece of jewelry is a lot, diamond or not. You can get VERY nice designer settings with a CZ center stone for that. $1,000 is a lot of money for any young man, and for you all to poo-poo him is flat-out ridiculous. All of you gals must simply be lining up to drop a grand on your respective men, right? Last time I checked the sexual revolution happened about 40 years ago.

 

The only "hypocritical" thing on this thread is that you would be mad at the man who would propose marriage to you for no other reason than because he didn't buy you an expensive enough bauble to show off to your friends.

[binturong]

everybody [in my section of America anyway] believe that a "one carat diamond engagement ring" is the MINIMUM acceptable carat weight for an engagement ring

 

How funny. I told my then BF that one carat was way too big and he'd better listen to my input if he's going to be buying me a ring. He regrets not getting a carat, but I think it's more for his bragging rights than anything else because I love the size of my stone.

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by billybadass36

These days when the media bombards us with photos and stats of all the various celebrities' engagement rings, and ruthless, monopolistic deBeers' advertising campaign making everybody [in my section of America anyway] believe that a "one carat diamond engagement ring" is the MINIMUM acceptable carat weight for an engagement ring, it makes sense to someone on a limited budget to buy a 6.5mm CZ, moissonite, or another simulant.

 

I know exactly what you mean. Last year for Christmas my huband bought me a beautiful 3-stone diamond necklace. He went into the jewelrs and told them exactly what he wanted (princes cut) and they brought out a wonderful necklace for like $5k. He said he couldn't afford that and asked for something smaller and by the time he found the one he could afford, he felt like not giving it to me at all because it is small - something less than 1/2 ctw. The media, the sales people, and he said there was a woman next to him buying a more expensive piece of jewelry, all made him feel like a loser for buying me a "cheap" diamond necklace. He just doesn't 'get' why diamonds are important to some people and he almost didn't buy it and was going to buy me a new, larger, CZ in 14k gold, necklace, but he went ahead and bought the diamond because he didn't think there would be enough time to order a CZ (I get them on-line) necklace.

 

I wear it every single day. I love it. It's not too small. He was amazed at my reaction when I opened it last year - he truthfully thought I would be disappointed in the size, and fully expected me to return it, but instead I am thrilled with it. I am proud to wear it, and I've been around some hoity-toity women in offices that made subtly disparaging remarks like "oh, isn't that a cute little thing! My daughter would love that--she'll be 10 this year" and you can imagine the tone of voice that goes with that!

[Elmo]

Originally posted by Dakini

On a tangent note - talking about diamonds - do any of you feel guilty about having and wearing diamonds? I always think how much blood was spilled and subjugation imposed to get that diamond... is it really worth it? I have some that were given to me as gifts, but I don't know if I could buy one myself.... any thoughts?

 

YES! This is why I wanted an old ring for my wedding ring.

 

I hated the thought of people being indentured or slaving for a tiny diamond that ends up in one of those horrid mall stores.

 

We looked and looked...and finally my husband to be just gave up.

 

I was kinda pissed that I got married with a $30 band from the costume jewlery dept. at Nordstroms!

 

I was pissed for about 2 years.

 

Now, we have been married for 8 years. I take out that crappy $30 ring if we go to a business or family event. It amuses me.

 

No ring could match how wonderful my husband is.

 

Sometimes...most times...men don't care about "rings".

 

It's wierd...I don't care anymore either!

[indigo_moon]

First of all, you obviously didn't *get* what I was saying. It's not about whether you could or couldn't afford a diamond...or your saying that had you not been able to afford a diamond you'd have bought a CZ....the point was that you sang the praises of a CZ and were clear in saying that women are awful for wanting something authentic, vs a "diamond wannabe." YET.....if a CZ was so good and equal in quality to a diamond, which is what you were saying, then why oh why didn't you just buy one? There MUST have been a reason you chose a diamond over a CZ. Was it because you felt like blowing a wad of cash? I doubt it...........so then, by virtue of the fact that you bought a diamond over a CZ just *proves* you think a diamond is better. So then why is it so wrong for women here to say the same thing? If you can't see the hypocrisy in your responses, sorry bud, can't explain it to ya any better.

 

 

Originally posted by billybadass36

He obviously did his best within his budget to buy an engagement ring that he thought his betrothed would appreciate. $1,000 for a piece of jewelry is a lot, diamond or not. You can get VERY nice designer settings with a CZ center stone for that. $1,000 is a lot of money for any young man, and for you all to poo-poo him is flat-out ridiculous. All of you gals must simply be lining up to drop a grand on your respective men, right? Last time I checked the sexual revolution happened about 40 years ago.

 

You have no idea about what this guy's financial situation was, now do you? Nowhere in her post did she mention he bought the CZ because that's all he could afford. Newsflash for ya, there's actually really cheap men out there. And furthermore, $1000 isn't chump change.........he could have gotten a really nice ,albeit smaller, diamond for that kind of coin........which I'm sure she would have loved - because it was real, not something that's one step up from glass. Who in their right mind would pay $1000 for a fake diamond? That's insane. And even if she hadn't asked, had she ever gone to insure the ring, it would have required an appraisal.............it would have taken a gemologist 1.2 seconds to tell her it was a CZ.

 

I'm not ever going to apologize for believing that I deserve a nice diamond from my future fiance (surely just like YOUR fiancee does, or is that just reserved for her?).......what he'll be getting from me is true unconditional love, loyalty, honesty, commitment and I'd lay my life on the line for him - that's priceless. I'm very financially stable so I would be dating someone who was also financially stable....so in other words, I wouldn't be with someone who could only afford a ring from a gumball machine...not because I wouldn't get a nice rock but because I've worked hard to get where I am, I'm successful and I'm more than financially sound - why would I settle for someone isn't these things also? Now flame away, I'll get the popcorn

[Debster]

I'm not ever going to apologize for believing that I deserve a nice diamond from my future fiance (surely just like YOUR fiancee does, or is that just reserved for her?).......what he'll be getting from me is true unconditional love, loyalty, honesty, commitment and I'd lay my life on the line for him - that's priceless. I'm very financially stable so I would be dating someone who was also financially stable....so in other words, I wouldn't be with someone who could only afford a ring from a gumball machine...not because I wouldn't get a nice rock but because I've worked hard to get where I am, I'm successful and I'm more than financially sound - why would I settle for someone isn't these things also? Now flame away, I'll get the popcorn

 

Ok, for some reason I just had to respond when you wrote that you DESERVE a nice diamond. It's not about deserving. A ring is just a symbol of what is more important - the proposal and your plan on spending the rest of your lives together.

 

Now, maybe I'm a romantic at heart, but what I consider to be the ultimate is the fact that my husband planned exactly how he was going to propose, asked my parents in advance for permission, memorized a poem to recite to me and got down on one knee. He could have done that and tied a piece of string around my finger and I would have said Yes and jumped up and down just as hard as if he had given me a 1 carot diamond.

 

The ring, btw, is his grandmothers. He didn't spend a cent on it and the diamond is less than a half of a carot. However, it is one of my most treasured possessions. It is a symbol of his family opening their arms to me. It is a symbol of the love and promise my husband and I made together.

 

The ring is not what counts, imo. The proposal and the promise to spend the rest of your lives together is what counts. If you get too caught up in the drama of the size of the ring, whether or not it is a diamond or a CZ - to me, that says that you aren't focusing on what is really important.

[Karlise13]

that people seem to feel they 'deserve' a diamond.

 

What about your fiancee?

 

Are you going to spend two months' salary on HIM?

 

Maybe he'd like a large screen TV. Or an expensive tool chest. Doesn't he deserve that much?

 

Whip out YOUR wallet, Sweetie...

[billybadass36]

My fiance-to-be deserves a lot of things, most paramount of which is my love, affection, support, etc.

[Mary Jo]

[font=century gothic][/font]For the life of me I just don't get why women always have to have a diamond. I mean, what is the difference really between a cz and a diamond??!!! CZs look the same, they feel the same, they last as long as diamonds and even may look better if you buy a good quality cz. I would never want to pay thousands of dollars for a "diamond" instead of a couple hundred for a cz (and you could spend a lot less than that). Why - just so you can say you're wearing a "real" diamond? It seems so silly to me. Does anyone feel the same or am I all alone in this? I see no difference between the two - they're one and the same.....

[mytwocents]

When my boyfriend asked me what I thought about CZ instead of a diamond, I was torn. Then I thought about it and did some research on the subject, and I've come to really like the idea of a CZ ring. In all honesty, I'd rather have a big, sparkly, beautiful CZ ring with a platinum band than a tiny diamond just for the sake of having a diamond. I just prefer the look of larger stones, and I'm partial to platinum, which I know is more costly than gold. No one would ever have to know, CZ looks just as nice as diamonds and I would be proud to wear it. I know he doesn't make much money, and I also know he wants to get me a nice ring, so it's the practical solution for our situation. And yes, if I wanted, in a few years I could have it changed out to a diamond or get a new ring. I don't think I'd want to though, I'd want to keep exactly what he gave me the day he proposed.

 

I've also done some reasearch on the diamond industry, and I don't think I want to contribute to that.

 

A suggestion: If you really must have a diamond, have one or several embedded in your wedding band.

[katie79]

I feel the same way too.

I prefer a big stone, although it's not the price of the stone, it's the appearance.

With a CZ, it's flawless, close the the hardness of a diamond, and is twice more reflective for a fraction of the price. So if couples have no money, it's definetly an option. Besides, why bother spending say 400-500 dollars on a stone that is tiny and has many flaws and inclusions?? It'll look like sh*t anyway. Instead, spend that money on a nice setting and put a good quality cz (for about $60) in it...replace it with a nice quality diamond when your husband has enough. Really, who can tell the difference? Some jewelers can't even tell. And God forbid the stone pops out and disappears, it would be inexpensive to replace.

Also, for the records, most jewelery stores, such as Littman, Zales, Mary Kay, Whithall jewelers, Bailey Banks and Biddle, Christian Bernard, etc, substitue showcase rings with cz's and if your purchase it, then you have to pay for the stone on top of the setting price which is sky high! Many of them lie, so you could be paying a fortune for a $30 one -karat cz. I was a victim of an e-ring ripp off. They told us the band was platnium, then I found out it was 18K white gold! The setting was originally expensive, but reduced because the store I got it from went out of business. Now it's too late for me to really complain. But my ring is a very cotemporary and unique setting that I have never seen elsewhere (which everybody says), this one I had to have !

Just buy what you can afford for the special occassion. If it happens to be a cz, let it be.

Who the hell can tell the difference??

[CurvyGurl]

If you knew how bloody the diamond trade is and how worthless the diamonds that you're looking at in the stores are, you'd change your POV like I have.

 

I would rather have a beautiful, sparkling flawless, BLOODLESS CZ than a diamond I have to feel guilty about everytime I look at it.

 

It's not about deserving a diamond... depending on the cut, color, and worth, sometimes a CZ is better. Do some research on the diamond trade, DeBeers is the worst... I'm just learning about this from a friend and it's SHOCKING.

 

I'd take the CZ and run!

 

 

Congratulations, by the way! Painfully jealous, I am!

[katie79]

thought I was the only woman who felt this way. Doesn't look that way!

To be honest, I thought if I spoke out and said a cz is better than a diamond (and I hear moissanite is good too---not to mention there is a such thing as a "lab created diamond!), that people would tell me how stupid that is.

 

To be honest, I love cz's! To me, they are beautiful. They sparkle different colors when you hold it up to the light and have no flaws! The good news is, you don't have to spend a fortune for it either.

 

Aside from e-rings, I've seen beautiful diamond rings (for the right hand) that are soooo expensive. I try to keep an eye open for the same ring in cz...Why not?? I can have the same thing for way cheaper.

[CurvyGurl]

A friend in Canada sent me some info on bloodless diamonds-- mined in Canada. They are called Polar Bea diamonds and there is a good bit of info on the 'net about them.

 

If my fiance had the funds to buy a GOOD stone, I would love it if he would go that route. If not, I am fine with a gorgeous CZ and a plan to get a stone in the next 5 yrs, or maybe at a milestone anniversary. Too many people use the worth of a stone to guage how much he loves you and that simply is no guage at all!

[hooghie]

Originally posted by CurvyGurl

If you knew how bloody the diamond trade is and how worthless the diamonds that you're looking at in the stores are, you'd change your POV like I have.

 

I would rather have a beautiful, sparkling flawless, BLOODLESS CZ than a diamond I have to feel guilty about everytime I look at it.

 

It's not about deserving a diamond... depending on the cut, color, and worth, sometimes a CZ is better. Do some research on the diamond trade, DeBeers is the worst... I'm just learning about this from a friend and it's SHOCKING.

 

I'd take the CZ and run!

 

 

I completely agree. The diamond trade is DISGUSTING. DeBeers has done an amazing job of marketing over the last century- they started the 'diamonds are forever' campaign and the diamond solitaire as a symbol of love campaign. People think diamonds are rare, but they are plentiful- debeers just controls the market to make them APPEAR rare. The reason people think they should have diamond engagement ring is because DEBEERS is SOOO successful in its marketing campaign.

 

The size of your ring or the kind of ring is not a reflection of your worth or the amount of love in your relationship. Please do not support such a horrible trade.

[Guestfornow]

Wow!

 

Although I could agree with the original poster about not liking a lie, honestly, how would the rest of the proposal have gone if he had said no, it's not a real diamond, it's a CZ? Judging by the desire for a real ring, I can't imagine it would have been as nice or as magical. Who would want to ruin that? Maybe he could have later said it was a CZ... but then maybe he was also planning to one day sneak it away and have a real one put in. Who knows.

 

Personally, I don't much care for jewelry. When the marriage talk started to come up between my then-boyfriend and I, I reminded him of this, but he really wanted to get me a ring and from what he had been exposed to, was under the impression it had to be a huge, gorgeous, real diamond to mean anything. Because, you know, the fact he was pledging lifetime love and loyalty to me meant not a thing at all... oh no, had to be the ring that meant something...

 

Anyway, I started doing research into the whole engagement ring thing, and wasn't too happy with what I found. Especially the part of the bloody diamonds. NO thanks. When I told him of this, he understood immediately and then started looking around for diamond substitutes. He really liked the moissonite, and I figured I would have to get used to the idea of a ring. No big deal, eh? If it meant that much to him, I'd be happy to wear whatever engagement ring he'd come up with.

 

So imagine my surprise the day we went to a rose garden/nursery to pick out some new miniature roses (an addiction of mine), when he got down on one knee and presented to me the Ring of Fire miniature rose, and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. Did I care I didn't have a 'real' ring? No! As far as I am concerned, that Ring of Fire is the perfect symbol of his love and devotion to me -- it will grow and blossom year after year, as I hope our love will continue to. THAT is what an engagement ring should be about... not how big it is, how much it's worth, or whether it's 'real' or not. I know a lot of women (and even some men) will say I'm stupid for being happy with a dumb plant, but ya know... it shows just how much my husband knew and loved me.

 

And yes, I do wear a real wedding ring with no problem. It's one piece of jewelry I am happy to have day after day.

[herbalyyys]

well, take the cz and be happy.If its set in nice 14 or above carat gold, then even better,sure it is easier to scratch, but imean are ya wearing it in a sandblaster?....NO! Its still very hard to damage. Maybe its for a cost issue...then later on when other priorities are met, invest in a moissanite which is still indistinguishable from a real diamond to most jewelers in the US,unless they have one of three machines that can tell differrence.If you must have a diamond, then insist on a lab created or a Canadian mined one.