Be The Woman Men Adore, His Dream Girl (Loaded thread)

[youngnlove89]

:bunny:

Men of LoveShack,

 

What makes a man adore a woman? What makes him go Tarzan, running through the jungle pounding his chest?

 

What is the most important?

 

• Intimacy
  
• Loyalty
  
• Chemistry
  
• Personality
  
• Attractive
  
• Mystery
  

How do you get this kind of feminine grace that draws men like moths to flames?

 

When does a girl become a doormat? When does it become too much?

 

[[Doormat: women who bends over backwards to please him, drop what they are doing for him, doing really nice things continuously, constantly giving, becoming the "yes" girl...]]

 

Do men like resistance, how much is enough?

 

[[Resistance means not jumping through hoops every time he calls. It means if you have plans with the girls, you keep them and don't ditch them because you want to see him. Resistance means if he invites you to go somewhere that you aren't that crazy about, you aren't going simply to please him. You decline offers if they don't really suit you. I don't like sports. I can't help it, I just don't. A guy could have tickets to the Super Bowl and I would turn him down. I am not going along just to be in his presence.]]

 

If you don't have resistance, there is no challenge and men like challenge? Does this just apply to courting or do you continue this challenge throughout the relationship?

 

Do men fall in love with your absence, versus your presence?

 

[[When away on trips or out with the guys, do you think of her, miss her, wish she were there? Is this what makes them realize their love for you? If the woman is out with her friends, has plans, or is on a trip, does you miss her, want her more?]]

 

Many women try hard to please a man. Offering to help him, cook for him, buy him presents, do his laundry, his dishes, work hard to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it? Men don't want you to act like their mother, but a mysterious exciting partner, right? So, doing the above is required or not? What is too much?

 

Why do I feel like I constantly have to ask myself questions?

 

• Do I call him first?
  
• Do I answer his call, ignore it, or call him back an hour later?
  
• How does someone come across as needy? Or too distant?
  
• Do I do his dishes, his laundry, or does it come off as mother-like?
  
• Is it okay to be jealous? What if he gets jealous, what does that mean?
  

I feel like I'm taking a daily quiz (not just with relationships, but dating also). Should I do this or that? Am I doing too much or too little? Am I needy or distant? Will I push him away if I do a, b, or c? What is better? What is worse? How do I find balance?

 

Do men like when women ask questions? Does it intimidate them, make them nervous? Does it push them away?

 

Examples:

 

• Where are we heading?
  
• Who is that girl you have been hanging out with?
  
• Do you want to spend Xmas together?
  
• Saying I love you everyday
  
• I miss you
  
• Can I come over? (do you feel obligated to say yes?)
  

Men have a simple look on relationships: fun, sex, and security. Is this true?

 

Women have a more complex look on relationships. We worry about everything else.

 

What's your input?

[sweetkiwi]

Whoa, just had dinner...too much to digest.

[Woggle]

Just be clear about you want ask us what we want. Also remember every man is an individual. That should solve most problems.

[tbf]

youngnlove, while I don't begrudge you male attention from solicitation of such, if you want honest input, not all men are the same so their requirements will vary. This means you'll have to gauge by individual.

[youngnlove89]

youngnlove, while I don't begrudge you male attention from solicitation of such, if you want honest input, not all men are the same so their requirements will vary. This means you'll have to gauge by individual.

 

Oh I understand completely!! I've dated several different types of men. But I want YOUR individual input. I understand everyone has different preferences, but what is yours?

[therhythm]

youngnlove, while I don't begrudge you male attention from solicitation of such, if you want honest input, not all men are the same so their requirements will vary. This means you'll have to gauge by individual.

 

frankly I think it is an honest question.... while I always advocate for the fact that we are all singular individuals if she gets enough answers she can learn the pattern of most LS males.

The outcome should not be taken as a real truth but a good observer can obtain benefits from it.

My 0.02 cents.

[tbf]

Oh I understand completely!! I've dated several different types of men. But I want YOUR individual input. I understand everyone has different preferences, but what is yours?

Since I'm not a guy, I can't give you my definition of a dream girl.

[youngnlove89]

Since I'm not a guy, I can't give you my definition of a dream girl.

 

 

I meant in general What is your input being a girl? Do you find yourself being complex? Asking questions? Wondering?

[youngnlove89]

frankly I think it is an honest question.... while I always advocate for the fact that we are all singular individuals if she gets enough answers she can learn the pattern of most LS males.

The outcome should not be taken as a real truth but a good observer can obtain benefits from it.

My 0.02 cents.

 

THANK YOU. Exactly what I'm aiming for.

[tbf]

I meant in general What is your input being a girl? Do you find yourself being complex? Asking questions? Wondering?

Of the times I've been called "dream girl", I never asked why since inside, my eyes were rolling from the line.

[youngnlove89]

Of the times I've been called "dream girl", I never asked why since inside, my eyes were rolling from the line.

 

haha, so what do you think makes you a "dream girl"??

[therhythm]

OP to answer you with a simple answer to all of your questions I would tell you first that I don't play games with dating and I don't like to be played with...

For me it is all about attractiveness and chemistry at the beginning and about loyalty, personality and fun in the long run... So yes I am a very demanding person and I want them all...

If you are only attractive and we have chemistry but you are not loyal, fun or a person with a compatible personality I would still date you but I would probably not end up in a LTR with you.

 

I don't like the games of who has to call first and who needs to answer and after how many ring tones... I don't play that game as I said before, If I feel like calling you I will call, if you call and I feel like picking up and I can do that I will pick up... that is it... no hidden agendas...

 

How I see a relationship? Sex, fun and adventure... when I become 50 I may think about comfort and security ... now I just want to live my life to the fullest...

[tbf]

haha, so what do you think makes you a "dream girl"??

The woman these particular men wanted to bang so out comes the lines?

[KungFuJoe]

For me, I want a woman who is strong and doesn't NEED a man, but still knows how to be a lady. Just the right blend of independence but also not being close minded or stubborn. Also, someone who is easy going, but also knows how to party and get crazy.

 

I know I always bring up my wife in these types of threads, but she's really the perfect woman for me. She's so easy going and so NOT drama. No spats with friends or talking crap about each other while smiling to their faces. If she says something, she means it...no ulterior motives or hidden messages. She doesn't flip out over every little thing I do or try to over analyze because I replied to a text message 30 minutes later or even at all.

 

We lounge around the house all day like bums just doing nothing but watching TV or whatever and when we go out, she spend 45 minutes getting all dolled up and we get drunk, party all night and crawl out of the strip club when the sun comes out.

 

Oh...and open mindedness about sex...and being a great kisser. Those are absolutely MUSTS and something my wife is definitely not lacking in. I could elaborate on this, but I've already made plenty of posts and threads in the sex forum.

[fortyninethousand322]

The only time I was truly in love it was a girl who was interesting and liked to have thought-provoking discussions. And she smelled good, and had curly hair.

 

That's my dream girl.

[hppr]

Men have a simple look on relationships: fun, sex, and security. Is this true?

 

Yes.

 

Guys will phrase it a thousand different ways but it always comes down to to sexual attraction, "fun" to be with, and trustworthiness. For a man the perfect woman will have all those qualities in his eyes.

[youngnlove89]

How I see a relationship? Sex, fun and adventure... when I become 50 I may think about comfort and security ... now I just want to live my life to the fullest...

 

It seems like there aren't a lot of younger guys these days who want anything more than just fun and sex.

 

I wonder why.

[youngnlove89]

Influx of your threads suggests you are very commited to idea of making your bf happy. That's awesome.

 

Please clone that aspect of yourself, bottle it and send it to me so I can charm any women I meet with that awesomeness. I'll pay handsomely.

 

I know. I have been posting a lot lately, mostly out of boredom. But I am curious because I would like to have a healthy, long living relationship where I make the guy happy.

[fortyninethousand322]

It seems like there aren't a lot of younger guys these days who want anything more than just fun and sex.

 

I wonder why.

 

I just want someone who wants to do stuff. Like go to museums or ball games or academic lectures.

 

Sex isn't high on my priority list.

 

And I'm a younger guy (25)...

[KungFuJoe]

Here's some advice since you seem to be young.

 

Stop worrying about making someone else happy.

 

Worry about making yourself happy by finding the right person. You can't "make" anyone else happy but yourself. Someone who finds you as their "right" person will automatically be happy just being with you.

 

Hope that makes sense...but all you can do is be yourself and look for what you want. And when you get it, hope that who you are is also what the other person wants.

[hppr]

It seems like there aren't a lot of younger guys these days who want anything more than just fun and sex.

 

I wonder why.

 

You could say the same for girls today. Really lots of people are just plain selfish and it shows through in their personal lives.

[youngnlove89]

You could say the same for girls today. Really lots of people are just plain selfish and it shows through in their personal lives.

 

True. It's not like the old days anymore where couples grow old together and work out their issues vs just giving up.

[TheGuard13]

I thinkt he most important things in a woman are being attractive (not just physically, but also in terms of personality), intelligence, compassion, chemistry and open mindedness (which may be part of intelligence). Mystery is part of chemistry and personality, in my mind. Basically men want a combination of generally positive traits.

 

But not all men are the same, and individuals have different preferences.

 

I don't know about resistance, but I think generally, men want women who have their own lives and interests, and who let their men pursue the same.

 

Men fall in love with a woman when she's there. They might realize how they feel about her when she's absent. If she's doing her job, he'll be thinking about her often.

 

As far as men wanting women to please them...it depends on the man. Some men want you to cook for them, some could care less. Sometimes women try too hard, and do too many "cliché" things to win a guy over. It becomes forced, and therefore, awkward.

 

Most men don't like drama or games, like who should call who first? They like confidence.

 

In terms of laundry, dishes, etc, you should consider what YOU want to do for a man, not just what he wants you to do for him.

 

Questions are part of communication, so yes, most men would prefer to have good communication. Few people like being uncertain of themselves or their situations.

 

Men might have a simple overview of relationships, but many of us recognize the complexities of a long term relationship. We do tend to see women as overanalytical to a point.

[hppr]

True. It's not like the old days anymore where couples grow old together and work out their issues vs just giving up.

 

Internet message boards like these only attract people at the far ends of the spectrum, IE the guys/girls who 'can't get laid', the man/woman haters, vs. the guys and girls who are casual sex fiends whatever. Most people are in the middle, doing exactly what you say, having relationships and working things out.

[Keenly]

Mine is just so simple. If I'm attracted to her, and I know that she thinks about me, and WANTS me, that makes me feel like your "Tarzan" example. If I get a text randomly that says I miss you or I can't wait to see you or I love it when you do XYZ , that makes me feel amazing.

 

 

So I guess it would go

 

Attraction

Chemistry

Desire

Affection and affirmation

Ability to resolve conflicts without avoiding them

Respect

 

 

 

In that order.