Be The Woman Men Adore, His Dream Girl (Loaded thread)

[KungFuJoe]

True. It's not like the old days anymore where couples grow old together and work out their issues vs just giving up.

 

Old days??? Just how old are you again?

 

Or did you mean the "00s"?

[youngnlove89]

Old days??? Just how old are you again?

 

Or did you mean the "00s"?

 

I'm referring to parents and grandparents...when people worked through things.

[KungFuJoe]

I'm referring to parents and grandparents...when people worked through things.

 

You mean when women stuck around in bad relationships because the option of divorce wasn't possible?

 

Yeah...I miss those days, too.

[DylanT]

I think for both sexes, there has to be a combination of all important compatibility traits to keep the love lasting:

 

Mental

Emotional

Physical

Sexual

Social

 

Throw in some shared values, and you're in a great starting / foundation place.

[sweetkiwi]

IME being the best you can be as a human attracts better quality humans. When I was younger I was more "pure" by social standards, though I had led a tough life that I don't wish upon anyone. I still kept aspects of curiosity, passion, a true zest of life. Those things have never left me, and as I have matured into the woman I am now at 26 I find those qualities are expanding in the most beautiful ways. I don't question what others want to see or feel from me. It is more than enough to enjoy my own adventure and recognize the adventure in others.

[hppr]

You mean when women stuck around in bad relationships because the option of divorce wasn't possible?

 

Yeah...I miss those days, too.

 

That's not necessarily true. You just could get 'no fault' divorces there had to be a reason. Abuse, neglect, infidelity, some states the husband/wife could file for divorce because of lack of sex. Vegas was famous for 'quicky' no fault divorces so lots of people would go there, file and be on their way. The biggest thing was a stigma for divorce that we don't have now. Lots of churches would not sanction marriages between a divorced and non-divorced person for example.

[Woggle]

It seems like there aren't a lot of younger guys these days who want anything more than just fun and sex.

 

I wonder why.

 

Some guys think commitment is not worth the risk.

[MrCastle]

Ugh. There is an *it* factor I can't describe. I will try to list some things but let me preface by saying there is probably a lot more than I'm forgetting

 

I'll start with the basics:

 

-Looks: This doesn't really mean what you think it does. I'm surprised at how many people either don't feel the same or just fail to mention it, but attraction is solely individual. Women who like tall men will not jump into bed with any man over 6 feet tall. I love curvy women but I am not smitten by every single nicely shaped booty that walks into my life. They can totally not be your usual type physically, or lack something you usually look for, but no matter, they just have something to them you find physically attractive. You look at them and you're just like "yeah, that's what I want." -- When they don't lose attractiveness depending on how they wear their clothes or hair on that particular day. They are attractive to you no matter what. Off the top of my head, I think I've known one or two of these kinds of girls my entire life.

 

-Personality:

 

Sense of humor is really, really important to me. But it has to be my kind of humor. Some girls are overly silly and just don't come across as funny to me. I don't want overly silly. I prefer sarcasm, wit, sharp dialogue. I like a girl who can make fun of herself, who can handle playful teasing, and someone who doesn't take life super serious.

 

I also prefer someone who is either creative, by any means (music, painting, photography, writing, etc) or if not creative themselves, is interested in the arts (reading, going to museums, etc)

 

Smarts is also high on my list. Someone able to have deep, meaningful conversations from time to time. Again a delicate balance. Not someone who is overly poetic and deep no matter the reason, but someone who can pick their spots.

 

Being feminine is also a big deal. A girly girl. She likes to dress up when the occasion calls for it. Does stereotypical chick stuff like watch chick flicks with her friends, rave about nutella, etc. A girl's girl. I like the male/female dynamic. I like the yin and yang of masculinity and femininity. When I'm watching the game and yelling at the tv I want her to roll her eyes and say "haha what a dude," just as I will do when she cries watching romcoms.

 

I want someone who is passionate about stuff. Even if it's stuff we don't agree on. I like fiestiness. I don't want a relationship where anything I say goes, or she has no input in what we should do, with every answer being "i dunno," "i don't care either way," or "whatever you want to do." -- I want her to argue with me when she disagrees with something I say. In other words, someone who has their own opinions and beliefs and doesn't just stand around like a sponge. I also want to see that passion transferred to the bedroom. A woman who can speak her mind and let me know what she likes and how she wants it done. Not harbor it for years secretly hating me then leave me because she wasn't being satisfied.

 

-Other intangibles: There is a lot of other stuff like, looking at her and picturing her as your wife or the mother of your children and not feeling scared about. Instead, you're calm when you think about it like "yeah, she could be my wife. I could see that."

 

If I can think of more I'll add more, but that's most of it, and again--have really only had that feeling with one or two chicks in my whole life and they belonged to someone else, so I never found out if in fact they would have been truly perfect for me. Here's hoping I find out soon.

[Els]

It seems like there aren't a lot of younger guys these days who want anything more than just fun and sex.

 

I wonder why.

 

I think it's partly because lots of young women nowadays seem to prefer that, too. There has been a lot of talk about men who do desire Rs, getting disheartened by that. I'd guess that is true to an extent. Aside from that, probably the instant gratification culture.

 

There ARE guys who do desire long-term Rs, though - so if that's what you want, don't settle for anything less. I agree that holding off on marriage would be a really good idea at your (and my) age - but there's a pretty wide spectrum between casual sex and marriage, and commitment falls within that.