the_opposite_sex Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 so here's another issue. And sorry for all the "pitty party" threads of mine, but my b/f and I are going through alot together right now. We "separated" for a couple days this past week b/c he needed time to think over our relationship. So i gave him his time. During that time, he developed a "crush" on an attractive co-worker of his. I got really upset, just knowing that some other girl could have had the chance to have what has been w/ me for 3.5 yrs. And just the fact that he was put EVERYTHING that we had together in jeopardy. He said at the time, he wasn't for sure if we were gonna last though. He didn't pursue her or anything, he didnt act on his thoughts. Instead, he thought it over, and realized he actually didnt want to pursue her, mostly b/c of me and how he felt about me. And b/c he didn't like the type of person she was anyways. So overall, he was just after her b/c she looks good. But now, we're back together, AND he works w/ her...not in the same dept., but the same building (he works at Best Buy). This is a rather flirtacious girl we're talking about too. Here's what he said in our Yahoo convo... him: I would say that I just sort of acted or "thought" without thinking... me: your thinking process was screwed up enough as it was him: uh huh Overall, i'm just scared that she's gonna put the moves on him and make him think the same thoughts he had before. Am I overreacting? I guess seeing that he came back to ME should tell me alot. I dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 My boyfreind works at best buy too, but only part time, as a computer tech. How funny is that? Anyway, its common to develop "crushes" during a relationship, but its a whole other thing when one either does or does not act upon these feelings. Its great he didnt do anything, and maybe he just needed those couple of days as a mini vacation. There is such a thing as spending too much time together. So he may have just wanted a couple of days to himself. As for the girl, pay attention to the way she flirts, and if she is a flirt with EVERYBODY, I wouldnt be too concerned about it, b/c that just shows its not intentionally jus for him. Things will get better, I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted October 15, 2004 Author Share Posted October 15, 2004 holy freakin cow! my b/f works in the computer dept. too! They call 'em the "geek squad" lol But yeah, he said shes a flirt w/ everyone, including married men. Seeing as he had a crush on her, why would he wanna pursue someone like that??? Thats not him. But like him and I agreed to, he was screwed up in his thinking anyways, as far as thinkin about where our relationship was going and other big things. He had plenty on his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Thats funny.yeah, they have to wear those stupid shirts and ties, with tthose horrible pins on the ties:) Aw well. Well that is good to know that she flirts with everyone. So it isnt a huge supirse that he developed some sort of thing for her temporarily. Especially considering what was going on between you two during that time. Good to know things are working out for the better. Geeks to the rescue. I love my geek Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 yeah i told him that she's gonna piss off a lot of gfs/wifes, and he was like "yeah if she's not careful". But that's as long as their honest w/ their females like my guy was. I give him alot of credit for that, but when he first told me about her, i got extremely pissed...then he regretted telling me bout it. He was like "i was just tryin to be honest w/ ya then you get all upset". I asked him if he feels weird around her, and he said no...so that's good too...that tells me he really does love me and wants to be w/ ONLY me, and she wasn't a big deal at all. I dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Yeah, there will be a lot of fights if other girlfreinds and wives found out, not only how SHE acts, but how HE acts back. Im not stupid, I know Justin flirts, even if he isnt "aware" of it. But he doesnt do it around me, and i wuld rather pretend like he never does it and is a perfectly good little boy. But its no worse than me flirting as long as it doesnt go any further than that. Do you actually know this girl at all? Have you ever talked with her? Perhaps if one day you talk to her(let it be known that he is your boyfreind for one thing), you may not feel as threatened. Let me know how it goes, Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 no i dont know this girl, and i've never seen her before. I told him not to tell her bout me unless she flirts w/ him again. He admitted that in the past that he flirted back, but it was harmelss he said. So i was ilke "so if i would have walked in at the time, i wouldn't have gotten upset at what i seen?" and he was like "no b/c i wasn't doin anything wrong!" I'm not sure if i wanna see this girl b/c i'm afraid i'll get jealous by how she looks or something and start comparing myself, especially since KJ was once "interested". But he probly doesn't realize he flirts either. He's a real real friendly guy as it is, very outgoing, etc. Everyone loves him! hehe Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Plus, your definition of hot, and his definition of hot, may be totally different. He may think she is hot, but you may look at her and be like, "whats the big deal? she isnt all htat and a bag of dorritos/" I know mine and Justins definitions of hot are TOTOALLY different. Very rarely do we even agree when someone is attractive, let alone hot. So seeing her may not be THAT be a deal. And if you think she is hot, then youll know what kind of girl looks wise he is attracted to, then you can take a look in the mirror, and know that he must consider you hot as well, becuase that is the type of person he is attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 well we just broke up for good This is where 3 1/2 yrs of constant fighting has led us. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Im sorry to hear that. I know that is not easy, but if you were constantly fighting, in the long run, youll probbably be a lot happier than you were before. And youll find someone you dont fight with a lot, and youll live happily ever after. My thoughts are with you, eveyrhting happens for a reason, youll soon discover the reason for this happening. Link to post Share on other sites
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