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Who should pay?


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My partner and I have been in a steady international relationship for over 2 years. We visit each other every couple of months. When he is here I usually cover all our expenses and when I'm there he normally pays for everything, with some minor exceptions.

 

Both of our families are very happy for us. I've visited his parents several times and they treated me very well, friendly and warm. I stayed at their house and they also took me out to dinners and paid for everything. My parents are the same when he comes to visit.

 

His parents have decided to visit my country for a week and get to know my culture better, as well as my family. He and I have talked about it being a present from us for them.

 

Their plane tickets were on him (he's also coming with them) and the deal is I'm 'hosting', ie paying for expenses there, I'm fine with that. However, they will need to stay in a hotel as my flat is too small to take them in and there's no room at my parents house.

 

I'm unsure if it's right for me to cover this as well. If I were staying in a hotel with them then sure, but my partner and I will be sleeping in my flat so this will be a cost made entirely by them and I'm not sure if it's appropriate that I should pay. (I'm also not made of money and it's not my intention to make it seem like I am, but I want to do the right thing.)

 

Planning is still in the earliest stages and I'm yet to talk to my partner about this and other details, but I was wondering what you think and what you would've done in this situation.

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It's tough to offer solid advice on what amounts to cultural custom in the lead up to what may be a wedding.

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Wow, just realized I somehow posted this in the completely wrong part of the forum.

 

Thanks for your input Balzac. We've talked about marriage and it is on the cards in the next couple of years, but we're not engaged yet, it's just not a good time for either of us right now. Neither of us comes from a traditionalist culture so there are no proposal/wedding customs really. And no dowry or anything like that.

We just never liked going Dutch on expenses but we tried to make it as fair as possible. Now I'm not sure what my position should be.

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