An answer to why on OLD truly obese women (and sometimes men) misreport.

[Mrlonelyone]

I think the OP is more of an encouragement to be honest on your profile.

 

Since there's a lid for every pot, you might as well be honest.

 

Could be wrong, but I don't think this is a complaining thread...

 

Exactly. I am just pointing out an attitude which is common and turns up on OLD.

[Phoe]

LOL

 

I can't believe there are people here who legitimately think that skinny girls are less fun or more dramatic or super bitchy compared to heavier girls.

 

 

 

 

Weight does not have much correlation into a girls personality. I know lovely ladies who are both thin and thick, and know nasty horribly mean ladies who are thin and thick.

 

 

If a larger girl loses some weight is her personality gonna go down the tube? If a skinny girls gains some weight is she suddenly enlightened in the ways of the world? pffftt

 

 

nice people will be nice. mean people will be mean. no matter what the scale says

[Daisy_Mae]

Well, all things being equal.

 

Plenty of thin people have dead livers, or lung cancer or SARS, or West Nile Virus, or some other horribly disgusting life threatening disease.

 

Thin people don't try to convince you they are healthy, just because they are thin. I don't meet many overweight people who say, "I am very overweight, I eat horribly, I don't do anything at all but sit at my desk, go home and watch TV all night, eat dinner in front of my TV and Im unhealthy." I do however hear this from a lot of thin people who are NOT in denial. I find thin people are more willing to admit to being lazy, sedentary, and less deserving of the "healthy" status, but I find obese people will try to convince you until they are blue in the face that even though they are overweight/obese, they are 100% healthy.

 

I don't know if I understand the point you are trying to make here. Obese/overweight individuals are often unhealthy by default as stated by another poster here. Thin people usually are not or are less likely to be unhealthy. Plenty of overweight people have dead livers, lung cancer, SARS, West Nile Virus, or some other horribly disgusting life threatening disease too. What is your point?

[fortyninethousand322]

Thin people don't try to convince you they are healthy, just because they are thin. I don't meet many overweight people who say, "I am very overweight, I eat horribly, I don't do anything at all but sit at my desk, go home and watch TV all night, eat dinner in front of my TV and Im unhealthy." I do however hear this from a lot of thin people who are NOT in denial. I find thin people are more willing to admit to being lazy, sedentary, and less deserving of the "healthy" status, but I find obese people will try to convince you until they are blue in the face that even though they are overweight/obese, they are 100% healthy.

 

I don't know if I understand the point you are trying to make here. Obese/overweight individuals are often unhealthy by default as stated by another poster here. Thin people usually are not or are less likely to be unhealthy. Plenty of overweight people have dead livers, lung cancer, SARS, West Nile Virus, or some other horribly disgusting life threatening disease too. What is your point?

 

That in fact, thin people are healthier than overweight people "all other factors being equal".

 

So, agreeing with the sentiment, but adding a qualifier.

[irc333]

From what my female friends claim: "so many guys look for younger women that I have to shave off five years just to find a man a decade older than me". I don't agree this is an okay thing to do, but I can attest that it's true many males look for someone incredibly younger. I personally wouldn't lie to get a guy who only wants to stick it to young chicks because I think that speaks volumes about what shallow freaks they are and why waste time dating 'em?

 

 

Yeah, actually, I was wanting to revisit this post about a woman I went out with...she was in her mid-40's at the time...kind of had an older "Jane Seymour" face/look to her...very pretty smile...great body...I was 38 when I asked her out.

 

 

She told me she doesn't go around deliberately chasing men younger than her, it's just that men HER age tend to be less energetic. Her last boyfriend was a construction worker, and spent his weekends on the couch watching football games all weekend.

 

She wasn't expecting him to be athletic either, but didn't ask for more than just a casual bike ride or a walk in the park or going kayaking.

 

So she just tended to gravitate towards younger men (not extremely young) simply because they were more willing to get out of the house as opposed to her ex-boyfriend the football game watcher. LOL.

 

But in most cases, at least with the online dating profiles....I think some of these women are just plain narcissistic if they have to alter their age to "fix" the search criteria when men do searches....and then they follow it up with "Oh, I look young for my age" and some how rationalize their reason for changing it there, and qualifying it in the write-up.

 

"Great, you're hot for your age, you got fake boobs and lips....good for you middle-aged woman who hangs out with college-aged girlfriends" lol

[normal person]

I have to agree with some other posters, these days I feel like a lot of people are in denial about a lot of things in their lives or they don't comprehend the severity of their situations.

 

In the event that they do have consciousness of their situation, it seems a lot people still lack foresight. If you misrepresent yourself online by lying about your age/weight/height/income, what do you think is going to happen when you meet the person you're talking to in real life? It's not like they're not going to notice an 8 year, 50 lb discrepancy between the person they thought they were getting and the person standing in front of them.

 

I imagine people rationalize lying by saying "Oh, I'll just lie at first to get a foot in the door, then they'll see what a great person I am and overlook my little fib." I can't imagine that gets overlooked very often. People set parameters about who they want to meet for a reason, bypassing them is just going to make them angry (and they probably won't be attracted to you anyways because you're outside their parameters).

 

I see short guys talk about how they have to lie about their height on OLD because they don't get viewed otherwise. As tough as that must be, that's the nature of the beast. People are entitled to their preferences and simply because you want to be in that preferred category doesn't justify lying to include yourself in it. No one wins then and you'll probably embarrass yourself and waste someone else's time and/or money.

[Star Gazer]

How do you think fat people get thin? They go on diets. They become healthy. On the road to getting there, they declare themselves to only eat this, that, or the other thing.

 

You think that a fat person must be lying when they say "I only eat clean food" because you're assuming they're not taking efforts to lose the excess weight.

[Maleficent]

LOL

 

I can't believe there are people here who legitimately think that skinny girls are less fun or more dramatic or super bitchy compared to heavier girls.

 

 

 

 

Weight does not have much correlation into a girls personality. I know lovely ladies who are both thin and thick, and know nasty horribly mean ladies who are thin and thick.

 

 

If a larger girl loses some weight is her personality gonna go down the tube? If a skinny girls gains some weight is she suddenly enlightened in the ways of the world? pffftt

 

 

nice people will be nice. mean people will be mean. no matter what the scale says

 

Oh look!

Brains!

[Maleficent]

How do you think fat people get thin? They go on diets. They become healthy. On the road to getting there, they declare themselves to only eat this, that, or the other thing.

 

You think that a fat person must be lying when they say "I only eat clean food" because you're assuming they're not taking efforts to lose the excess weight.

 

Heyii! more brains!

[sweetkiwi]

When I first started out on OLD I purposely didn't say what "body type" I was nor did I post full length photos. I did this in the hopes of weeding out the guys who cared a lot about these things, hoping I'd be left with less superficial matches. WRONG. After nearly every single guy asked for a full length body shot I just gave in and posted a nice picture, but one where my breasts and thighs were covered. I like tall guys, why can't they like "fit" women?

[MissBee]

Denial and delusion.

 

I am sitting in a restaurant/café and in front of me are three young women. First of all none of them are "ugly" an I could see the right man appreciating each of them.

 

They vary in weight from one who is tall, thin, an could really stand to gain about 10 lbs but is at the low end of healthy to one who could stand to loose about 80 to 100 lbs. Couldn't be more than 25 and already overweight scratch that obese.

 

This woman is talking about how "extremely healthy" she is "extremely". Talking about how she does not eat restaurant apples, but will stuff a cinnamon bun and other bready sweets in her face. Really chewing with her mouth open as she talks.

 

There is one who's with them who is in a more healthy range. What people mean by curvy.

 

Why lie about this. For every pot there is more than one willing lid. My nephew who is really fit and lifts weights loves bigger women. He thinks they are more down to earth and mentally balanced.

Can anyone tell me why people are so deceptive about this in OLD? Why would someone think they are entitled to a hottie with a chisled body when they themselves are clinically obese?

 

Not sure what you mean by entitled or what exactly you're referencing when you say "why lie about this" "this" what? Are you saying people who lie about their weight online? But indeed, I agree that there is a pot for every lid. The idea though that a chiseled "hottie" is naturally also attracted to another chiseled "hottie" is the faulty assumption. People like who they like...and it seems other people are the ones who do the mental matchups of who they think should be dating whom based on some looks scale which isn't universal. More often than not it is friends and random onlookers who decide it is their job to judge a couple if they are "right" for each other, solely on looks. I have been guilty of it too.

 

Like your bodybuilder nephew likes bigger women...some people may assume a bodybuilder is supposed to only like women with abs who love the gym and so think it a "bad match". People assume this ALL the time. When just because you like the gym doesn't mean you like women who do too. Likewise, if you're obese, you are entitled to also like who you like...and if the kind of person you like, likes you back...then good for you.

 

I think it becomes tricky when people discuss "entitlement" re looks...as then it becomes clearly this bias of people whom we feel are attractive being "entitled" to other people we deem attractive and entitled to everything, whereas those we don't deem that way, should be relegated to only liking other people we deem less attractive and are "passing their place" if they don't. The scales and categories of this are so tricky and weird and biased. I hate when people talk about 10s, 8s, 2s and whatever. Yes I do get that by culture, there is a standard of what people agree is attractive. This also changes throughout the ages and in every age not every person will agree on what is a 2 or 10. Bottom line: everyone is entitled to be with someone they are attracted to. People shouldn't lie online about looks or weight, as there is someone for everyone, and it's best to put who you are out there to attract those who'll genuinely appreciate you versus pretending. No one should only have to like a certain look because they are a certain look. You like who you like and if they like you back you're in business!

Edited June 27, 2013 by MissBee

[aussietigerwolf]

I dated a guy who had changed his age on the site by 10 years... he was right though, he didn't look his age but my problem was that he lied and continued to lie.

 

I have also had a guy old enough to be my dad (really... he was the same age as my dad lol ) actively pursue me.... I was less than even half his age...

[hppr]

Denial and delusion.

 

I am sitting in a restaurant/café and in front of me are three young women. First of all none of them are "ugly" an I could see the right man appreciating each of them.

 

They vary in weight from one who is tall, thin, an could really stand to gain about 10 lbs but is at the low end of healthy to one who could stand to loose about 80 to 100 lbs. Couldn't be more than 25 and already overweight scratch that obese.

 

This woman is talking about how "extremely healthy" she is "extremely". Talking about how she does not eat restaurant apples, but will stuff a cinnamon bun and other bready sweets in her face. Really chewing with her mouth open as she talks.

 

There is one who's with them who is in a more healthy range. What people mean by curvy.

 

Why lie about this. For every pot there is more than one willing lid. My nephew who is really fit and lifts weights loves bigger women. He thinks they are more down to earth and mentally balanced.

 

Can anyone tell me why people are so deceptive about this in OLD? Why would someone think they are entitled to a hottie with a chisled body when they themselves are clinically obese?

 

Why would someone lie about their height/weight to get dates online...you're honestly asking this...lol

[irc333]

Like your bodybuilder nephew likes bigger women...some people may assume a bodybuilder is supposed to only like women with abs who love the gym and so think it a "bad match". People assume this ALL the time. When just because you like the gym doesn't mean you like women who do too. Likewise, if you're obese, you are entitled to also like who you like...and if the kind of person you like, likes you back...then good for you.

 

Funny you mention this, at this boat party I went to, there was this woman "booty" shakin' against this buff, attractive man...his girlfriends jumps on her case and says, "HEY!! This is not THAT kind of party!!"

 

Later on, the woman who got yelled at, had a few drinks in her...so she was pretty open to speaking freely, lol....stated how can a fat arse like her, be with a guy like him.

 

I agreed, I've always wondered that myself, BUT I didn't know the conversation because they were the host of the party and I wanted to make sure I'd be invited again. lol.

 

Anyhow....I think she was a +1 to the event...kept talking crap about how is it she works out 5 days a week and what could he EVER seen in his current g/f ...ESP. since HE's all buff.

 

I guess her jealousy was further reinforced by having to compete with a woman who has a sedentary lifestyle.

 

A while back, I knew of some dating profiles that seemed to INFER that they seek someone "equal" to them in looks.

 

One profile I know of stated, in a rather arrogant matter, "After seeing my pictures, and you ask yourself, 'Self.....had I ever dated a woman that looked like this?' and if you said 'No', then please move past this profile!"

 

No joke....nothing could get arrogant than a comment like that.

 

Some tried to NOT come off arrogant by making such an implication, one stated, "I'm looking for my 'looks type'" she defined it as...basically, "Hey, if I'm attractive, then my boyfriend/date should be attractive too."

 

"If I look like a Barbie, then you should like Ken"

 

What's funny is.....there'd always been this one chronically single black sheep of the family that had remained single while the rest of her family and even friends got married.

 

Apparently, they were aware of her pickyness....and knew in what regards to her pickiness was mostly due to looks and status."

 

They kept giving her advice to perhaps tone down her , for example, "must be 6 feet or taller" criteria or perhaps consider that 40 year old guy with male pattern baldness that has had a crush on her since High School as a dating prospect or men with similar, average-looking appearances as future prospects.

 

But...she never did take their advice.

[SuperGeek]

I guess she can start a rescue shelter for lost cats then.

 

 

But...she never did take their advice.

[irc333]

I guess she can start a rescue shelter for lost cats then.

 

I have known professional matchmakers to give these women advice to not be so obsessed with looks....only to have them LOOSE their clients to such a suggestion.

 

"I can't believe that person! She told me to lower my height criteria in a man when I hired her to find me a man that I SEEK! The NERVE of that person!!"